We choose to make choices . . . . or do we?

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How many of us have either heard or used the phrase, ‘everybody makes choices’ and to some extent that statement is true. I say to some extent because in some cases, the choice is not as clear-cut as many of us would like to think. Sometimes the choice is not obvious and sometimes, somebody else makes the choice for us. Sometimes a person makes a choice in the spur of the moment out of necessity because they see no other option available to them. What or who am I talking about; who could possibly find themselves without choices? How about the abused child; do you honestly think that child was born thinking to themselves, I want to get beat today? Do you think the battered woman is thinking that too, that she enjoys getting those bruises? Did you ever stop to think that maybe she was that beaten child who never had anybody tell her that life could be different? How about the homeless person; you think they chose to be homeless? Oh, you did not know they lost their house and all their belongings in a fire. Trust me when I say, none of these people chose to be in their situations. What is the point to all this you ask? Nothing really, other than perhaps to get you to think before you make assumptions about the choices someone else has made but if you choose not to . . .well, I guess that is your choice to make. Thoughts?

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Type: Discussion • Score: 6 • Views: 1,435 • Replies: 9

[+3] - KaylaC - 02/08/2014I completely agree. I think the phrase "Don't judge a book by its cover" also applies to your post. No one chooses to put themselves in hard positions in life. That being said, I also...

@nicholeg,

I completely agree. I think the phrase "Don't judge a book by its cover" also applies to your post. No one chooses to put themselves in hard positions in life. That being said, I also think we have to keep in mind that everyone DOES make choices, and some need to make MORE choices. That homeless man who lost his everything in a fire... He can choose to remain homeless, or he can choose to seek help in his journey to get back on his feet. Food for thought!

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@nicholeg,

I agree with what you said, not everyone has the luxury of choice. I have at times thought about people who are in such damn straights. My Church now houses a lotus group for battered women and children. I am thankful for that. I often think about other choices we have and not have . Sometimes government puts their two cents in. Like changing laws, sometimes they even make the right choices in the law other times they don't.

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@nicholeg,

Agreed that everybody makes choices to some extent. That battered child is not free to make a choice...parents are doing that for him/her but that child may belong to the woman who is being beaten. So what's the situation there? She may be in a position where she feels that she has no choice and no way out. Her and her childs life could be endangered if she tries to leave but still we say why doesn't she leave the no-good sob without knowing the details and how are we to know. She's not free to even share that with anyone! As to the homeless, your example is understandable but what about those who are simply running away because they don't want to conform to rules at home or society's rules? Sympathy and compassion for them..I don't think so...they made their choice..now deal with the consequences!! Not knowing someone's situation is why we should try to be objective and not judge them. We have no way of knowing why they made the choices they have so I guess it would be a case of let them live their life and everyone else take care of their own.

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@KaylaC,

just because you CAN make the choice however...doesn't mean that other choices aren't made for you that ultimately change your ability to make the choice or just because I choose to get help, doesn't necessarily mean I can choose HOW to get the help or where to get the help from. Lots of factors affect how one can make a choice and exactly what the choice can be. I think until you are truly in a specific situation can anyone comment on a specific choosing.

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@angelaF,

Here we go again!

If you're having a choice made for you, are you not choosing to allow that to happen? If someone is pushing they're choices on you, or making a choice that alters your choosing, are you not choosing to allow that to happen? My point is that, if you're not doing anything at all, you're choosing not to do anything. That in itself is a choice.

That being said, a battered child is a tough one. That, and severely disabled people, are probably the only ones I'll say don't have the luxury of making a choice.

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@KaylaC,

Basically what I was thinking. One might be in an unfortunate situation but that doesn't mean they are stuck in the present. Everybody is able to make choices that will alter their future. In my opinion the only people that can't make their own choice are people with severe mental disabilities.

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@KaylaC,

I would first like to say the intent of this discussion thread is not to begin a debate about who's opinion is right or wrong; it is to encourage a dialogue and get one another thinking about other perspectives about the issue.

Have said that, reflecting back on something charlenem mentioned in her posting regarding the battered mom; how she may be in a position where she feels that she has no choice and no way out. Her and her child’s life could be endangered if she tries to leave. Dare I point out the individuals who have been killed by their abusers including Colleen Boyers of Pittsburgh, Amy Hargrove of Washington, and Hilary Saenz of Ellsworth? You questioned, “If you're having a choice made for you, are you not choosing to allow that to happen?” Did these women choose to let their abusers make their choices for them or did they have no choice?

As with many things in life, I think it is safe to say, there are exceptions to the rule, which is one of the reasons why we should not make assumptions about somebody's situation.

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@nicholeg,

I feel as if even if you were a battered woman, you should attempt to leave, especially if you have a child. Thinking about it, for myself anyway, if you stay, you have to potential to be killed. It's abuse, eventually it will get out of hand (more out of hand than already is) and you may be killed. If you leave, at least you have a chance of living. You have the potential to die either way.

To answer your question, her choices were taken away from her when she was murdered. But I think it's pretty obvious that you can't make choices when you're deceased! Smile

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@nicholeg,

I just firmly believe that you are the boss of your own life. If something unfortunate happens to you, you always (with the exception of being murdered) can make a choice for the better or the worse.

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We choose to make choices . . . . or do we?

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