Should I reach out to a Teacher?

No need to reach out, just use the Force. Focus your thoughts and aim them at the teacher. I'm confident she will sense your concern without you having to say a word to her.


Not!!! Of course you should talk with the teacher.

I just didn't know if I should wait until my daughter talks to her. She is a freshman in high school so it is kind of a fine line where do they take over for themselves.

My daughter and I talked - she didn't want me to at first - she was afraid that her teacher would think my daughter was mad - I made it clear she wasn't but that we were concerned and wanted clarification.

I sent it so what is done is done.

From a personal standpoint, I always appreciated when a parent or guardian would reach out to me as the teacher when there was a misunderstanding of any sort. It showed the parent/guardian cared and that the student clearly did as well.

Thanks - I wanted more insight of when the parent should be involved. I want my daughter to learn to be self-sufficient (ie I don't want to be a helicopter parent), but I do understand that I can't have her do it all - there is a point when you need to step in.

I guess with my bumbling - when is the right point when you step in as a parent.

Linkat, you must stop feeding them fertilizer, they're growing up way too fast. Seems like only yesterday we were talking about them as little girls. Now you're the mother of a teenager.

Where is the time going? I can't believe she has started high school already.

The fact that she talks to you about these things tells me she wants you involved.

I remember my freshman year as the year my mother and I started speaking a different language and she lived on a different planet than I.

You've always done a good job with them, Linkat. Trust your instincts, they have yet to fail you or your daughters.

Yes and playing high school basketball - amazing huh?

Thanks that is really sweet of you to say.

She is generally a good girl. Much better than I was at that age. Well she didn't at first - she didn't want her teacher to think my daughter was mad at her. My daughter loves this teacher. So I told her I will tell her in my email specifically that she isn't upset and that we are just concerned about how she is doing and want to clear up any miscommunication.

Yes, that's how I see it. Do email/ask the teacher about this.

So I got a response which actually makes me more angry. In particular this secton -

"At the conclusion of the testing period before vacation, there were a small group of students who did not finish. Most of these students are legally allotted extra time, though Lindsey is not one of these students. The majority of the class, however, completed the test in the allotted time. I apologize for the miscommunication, because she may have been standing with this small group as I mentioned coming after school to finish the test. In some cases, if the majority of the class does not finish, I will allow all students extra time. This test was not one of these instances."

So there is evidence she has done this in the past, but yet turned her down after the vacation time. Basically my daughter ended up with a 64 - this from a girl who normally gets As (right now she has As in every other class). In classes she has difficulty she has gotten Bs - she has never gotten anything below a B.

I have asked to meet with the teacher of course.

Well that would certainly annoy me.

Shouldn't the teacher have noticed who was standing in the group she was talking to?

Fact is, your daughter was in that group, so the teacher should honor what was said to her. Sounds like the teacher needs to show accountability for for she said.

This is part of what I wrote....

My husband and I are very upset. She has never done this poorly before. We also feel it is very unfair to have misled her to believe (especially where you have allowed this in the past) she could finish the test at a later date.

I do like what you said - that she should honor what she had said since the teacher did not notice my daughter was in the group - it was the teacher's error.

She said my daughter only missed two questions - but whether that would bring her grade up a little or alot to me does not matter - the fact she told her she could finish after the break. Bascially she lost her creditability but saying that and then saying the opposite after the fact.

I'd be pissed too. Especially after your daughter spent her holiday break studying for the test.

The teacher needs to quit changing the rules on test taking and start sticking to what she's told her students.

I'd be curious as what IEPs these kids have that allow them extra time after a two week break.

No child will spend time over breaks studying unless she misunderstood..which I doubt. I think meeting the teacher with your daughter present is a start.

Well I know one girl as my daughter plays/played on sports teams with her. She doesn't seem as if she is very special needs. She gets ok grades - according to my daughter she has a hard time taking tests. I said what you do too.

Which she does - she has difficulty with multiple choice, TF, etc.

It seems odd that kids like that would be in her class - you would think they would be in the lower class. This particular girl was in honors math with my daughter last year and the ironic thing is in middle school you are supposed to be tested into the honors math to be in that class.

Well the teacher confessed that she said they could finish the test after the break. Normally they wouldn't get the break - it was just the timing of the test and that the teacher couldn't stay after school the last few days prior to vacation.

If a kid has an IEP for anything they pretty much get extra time on tests.

My neighbor kid is a absolute math whiz kid. He goes to the math and science school where he bangs through any assignment they give him. He's been diagnosed as a high functioning autistic so he can get extra time on tests. He's never needed it.

Kids who have been diagnosed as ADD/ADHD and are being treated with drugs to improve their academic performance/life can get extra time on tests.

Well thats even more annoying - those that don't need it get it. And those that have a hard time with certain types of questions and it simply takes them longer to process don't get the extra time.

Stupid.

Or maybe it's not even that they are having a hard(er) time with certain types of questions. It just takes a bit longer to get from point A to point B on a particular type of question, without having any problems with it.

How is it determined how long it should take someone to answer a question? Especially if they're headed in the right direction, but are just driving slower.