How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could..

And a little more:

There are currently no contests available (due to inclement weather and recent outbreak of rabid woodchucks). Sorry -- you're still a winner in our eyes.


In fact, we all can be winners if we put our minds to it. A little bit of money and dumb luck doesn't hurt either. Most woodchucks would be winners if they could chuck wood -- which we're still not sure if they can. How the heck do you "chuck" wood anyway? The World English Dictionary defines chuck as "to throw something, especially in a careless or casual way." We always thought it had something to do with their teeth -- they are pretty small to be throwing anything. Plus, most of the woodchucks we've met have not been very casual about anything. In fact, when one of us said that we wanted to see other people, what we saw was a whole lot of teeth!

We found some statistics about the chucking, but nary did they say what it was the woodchucks were actually doing with the wood. There was a good treatise on the subject from some of our friends in Virginia about "The Social Ramifications of Woodchucks Chucking Wood." They talk about the difficulty in finding out what chucking is, but decide to use the definition "to have done with." To this we ask, how can you really be sure when a woodchuck is totally done with a piece of wood? Wouldn't you have to ask the woodchuck? And what if they decide to lie? Can a woodchuck be trusted? We will soon be giving the woodchucks a battery of psychological tests to determine this. Til then, happy listening. And to our woodchuck friends, "GLEEEEE KREEE WIGIWIGI GLERP!"

http://www.radiofreevirgin.com/win/

Bill W!!!! Hilarious - I shall pursue your links when I return from Christmas festivities!

I haven't fully gnashed on all them as of yet either.

All I can do is post y'all have to do the math.

in general woodchucks/groundhogs are notoriously bad in mathematics. in a recent study it was observed that woodchucks drop out of chucking school early and tend to hang out with rabbits who teach them bad habits. therefore, it is no wonder that the only available job opportunities open to them are predicting weather (the shadow thing) and woodchucking. these occupations are temporary at best with the weather forecast position being filled by exactly one woodchuck for one day only. since nobody can figure out what exactly woodchucking is, or if they even have a need for chucked wood, wood chucking woodchucks sit around smoking with fanged growling rabbits.

pueo, IMHO, I believe those woodchucks weather forecast is just about as dependable as the weather forecasters on our media around Northern California. Maybe, they (the media weather forecasters) need to dig themselves a hole in the ground, and live with the wabbits. c.i.

GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

If I wasn't sneaking in from another plaxce when i should be socia;osing, i would GET youse people!!!!!

oh yes the forecasters. the joint yphoon warning center in hawaii predicted the last typhoon we had would pass to the northeast of guam. the national weather service was saying that it would pass to the south. both said that the typhoon was not expected to be that strong. of course the typhoon went right over us at super-typhoon strength with sustained winds of over 150 mph and gusts up to 185+, and leveled the island. the typhoon from begining to end lasted about 15 hrs. data is currently being compiled, but it's been rumored that this was the strongest and most damaging typhoon in guam's recorded history. forecasters that can't forecast are everywhere.

What a way to make a buck heh? They don't know what the heck they're doing, but they get paid doing it. c.i.

sort of like economists, politicians.......................

dear fanged, smoking (but not inhaling) rabbit,

from your spelling i assume that you are indeed socializing

dlowan is doing what we should all be doing.... celebrating the Christmas Holiday. CHEERS! c.i.

Isn't a woodchuck a higher order of rabbit?

got to be, there's nothing lower

I am very disappointed in the tone this thread has taken - I was in a dark CORRIDOR, right - with no LIGHT, right - that is the reason for the spelling.

We do not DO speciesist hierarchy in the animal realm, but, clearly, if we did, rabbits, with our speed, grace and aesthetic gifts would far outrank woodchucks...

And intelligence...

Did I mention personality?

And intelligence?

so now we're dissin' the woodchucks i see, after corrupting the poor creatures. tsk, tsk, tsk.

what's with hiding in an unlit corridor, trying to get online?

i think my dear rabbit friend, that you are in need of the internet equivalent of AA.

WHO corrupted the smegging woodchucks?

I was just showing a friend how to pick up his email from anywhere - and there, large as life, was an update from this thread - woodchucks?, he said - WOODCHUCKS! - so I had to explain and, ....well, I had to show.... and there you have it.