Mon 12 Apr, 2004 07:17 pm
Last week's Sopranos episode was entertaining as usual. Car crash, road head rumors, women beatings, and plenty of mafioso magnificant action.
However, they left out one important detail: What happened to the poor raccoon that caused Tony Soprano to tip over his Escalade? Was the little guy hurt? Scared? KILLED???
That's where I come in. That little bugger is actually good friends with Nachos, my beloved hamster. From what I hear, Mohammed(the raccoon...he's Islamic), narrowly escaped having his multi-colored head severed by Tony's 19 inch rim. Two, three inches over to the left, and it would have been curtains for Mohammed. Curtains, I tell you!
However, it wasn't curtains, but he's been quite stressed. A full 1 week later, and smelly Mohammed hasn't been able to eat at all. Not a garbage can broken into in the neighborhood by him. No sleep. Hibernation. He's been stumbling around so much, says Nachos, that you'd think he has rabies.
We need to root for Mohammed. Support him, get him back in the game. Eating scraps, breaking into garages across Joisey. Give him some uplifting words here, so I can pass them to Nachos once he gets out of...there, and he can pass them to Mohammed.
The time is now.
I could administer EMDR? Would he follow my fingers? Most importantly of all, could he handle the cognitive aspects?
Will your hamster interpret?
He might follow your fingers if you covered them in pickle juice sprinkled in lemon pepper.
Don't ask how I know.
Such a heartening story to hear that Mohammed the raccoon survived the ordeal -- Tony's compassion in veering off and rolling the Escalade instead of making him into roadkill is telling. He doesn't flinch when whacking one of his unsuspecting Mafioso compatriots.
Please take Mohammed in and give him a good home, Slappy.