Obunga calls for recognition of moderate rapes and beheadings

Dear Comrades,

State Security General-Secretary Comrade John Kerry, in remarks to the People’s Senate, admonished deputies to be more attentive in their observations of the Syrian rebel forces sponsored by the USSA, particularly when noting the differences between moderate and extremist beheadings and rapes.

Islamic Socialism does permit beheadings, though the extremist versions are defined by their lack of popular support by the Party which represents the interests of the workers and Bedouins. The Party only permits beheadings when popular support or social expediency makes them necessary for the good order of the revolution.

The same can be said of voluntary and non-voluntary rape, the former which is permitted by Islamic Socialism for the morale of troops as well as the benefit of non-compliant women in need of further political formation to develop their sense of loyalty to the Proletariat for which the rebel courageously labor. Non-voluntary rape is the extreme variety perpetrated by the enemies of Socialism, such as Capitalists and the imperialistic forces of the Assad regime.

‘Organizing for Arabia’ understands that rape and murder are the uncomfortable price that some must pay for the good of Progress. While these incidents are sometimes regrettable, the Party reminds citizens that all of the Proletariat are expected to make their contributions in the struggle for social justice, which may include having to participate in necessary rapes and beheadings by Moderate forces receiving USSA aid and training.

USSA-trained moderate fighters have promised to wear protection during all of their rapes, and will be using only sharp knives when conducting beheadings, so that they do not cause prolonged suffering. The Party also issued a directive asking rebels to restrict their rapes to females and males above the age of six.

The Party condemns extremist war atrocities! Support Moderate rape and beheading in the interests of Social Justice!


Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
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