Rate My Lyrics

I like the first verse, shows lot's of emotion. As for the rest of it, it's still kinda ameture. It's alright, but could use some spicing up a bit. Let us feel you! Please post some more!

Really nice verses.




Yes,please.

the first verse flowed the rest was kind of forced.

i got more, i started this one two weeks ago and finishedit yesterday

Heroes Don't Ask Why

Verse 1:
I'm sorry but its time for me to go
I'm tired of all the bullshit -
you don't know me anymore
We used to be close friends
but, i know things will never be the same again
were done - its finished
things will never be the way they were, anymore

Chorus:
Heroes don't ask why,
they just save you anyway,
your a heroe in my mind
thats how you helped me
you saved me from the pain of life
the torment that you saw
thanks for changing a life
you matter more than you know


Verse 2:
your the only girl i think about- you will never know
how much i miss you
its hell to loose a friend
but i know things will never be the same
were done, its finished
things will never be the way they were, anymore

Pre Chorus:
you seem okay with me
your okay with everything
has anything really changed?
i guess not, but why all the suffering

Inverted CHorus:
Heroes don't ask why
they just save you anyway
your a heroe in my mind
thats how you helped me

I'm okay with, are you okay with me?
I want you to know - you'll always be inside of me
we'll always have your room - that can't get taken away
you rock, and hope nothing will ever change

Verse 3:
I want to take this time - to refelct on the month
It started out with you
and ended with someone new
but your whats important
I hope things won't ever change
nothing else matters but you

Thats the feeling I got from it!

I like the second one much better, i can feel much more emotion, but I also sence that you can do much better then that aswell. Open up, feel your emotions! Good work though, keep'em comin!

i got a million of em... i try to write from pure emotion and from whats on the inside the first verse and chorus are easy to write, but i never am happy with the rest of it..

In the Corner

Verse1:
Constant Rejection!!!
Constant fighting!!
Constant Pain!!
Constant Suffering - - all went away with the sound of your voice
You've got the power to make things better.
Make a difference in my world.

Chorus:
It was you, who was in the corner of the room.
Innocent and perfect in your special way.
It was you that changed a life,
and by accident sent it back too hell.

Verse2:
Hey you seem really interesting
Dressed in all black with curly hair
And guess what, after 3 hours of talking
I knew i was right
But after five minutes you told me what i didn't want to here
You've got a boyfriend, if you couldn't tell i wanted to make her mine

Verse3:
I just realized i suffer from depression
Coming and going at will
Right now it's up my ear
and i really feel like i can't handle it all

Help me, can you save me
save me from myself
I know were still friends
why do i still feel like a big piece of crap
I didn't even ask you out.

unnamed

Pre CHorus:
I'm not alone anymore
you opened up the door
to the girl that makes me smile
and feel alive, ever since
you broke my heart

Verse 1:
Last night i had a dream
in it you were gone from me
and she was the only thing that mattered
and it was a relief not to see your face

My life is like a dream
in it your gone from me
and it's nice to know
there is only on girl
that makes me live the dreM

chorus:
You were the dream
and i was just the dreamer
now with you gone from me
all that is left is the thought of you
your world is a memory

but now, out there is someone new
that can show me a new world
making new memories, and spending days
just hanging out - she's the dream
and your the nightmare inside of me

Verse 2:
I'm sorry, but it's time for me to go
in the hallwasy, you walk towards me
I can't wave or say hello
I don't want to look at your face
As far apart as we've groen
your still part of me
It's pains me to know
what was will never be

Verse 3:
That someone new, is someone great
something in her, lead her to me
and were very happy
it's better than you believe

but as the days go by,
your memory turns to a thing of pain
but there is something about you that has never gone away

etc...

youve got some really good stuff out there ... what are your influences or what kind of music you want it to sound like ? how long have you been working on the lyrics u allready posted .. got more ? keep up the good work . evol

Iv got some Lyrics to be read and rated by viewers
i like ur work on IN THE CORNER great emotion ...well iv got a song i want all to see..and im Lead singer in a band called INFECTED
this song is called

ALL MY LIFE
Verse 1
All my life......Killing me...All my Life Turning me!!
Towards insanity!! All The World My Enemy!!
The Ones I Hate!! Should Die Today!!

Chorus
I..Take the gun..Stick it to your ******* head!!
I...Pull The Trigger ..See What comes out of you
And..When it flows...The Blood Smears with death!!

2nd Verse
All The People in the World should jus die today
I dont give a fuckwhat u think of me
I dont careif ur life Depends on thee

chorus 2
I..Take the gun..Stick it to your ******* head!!
I...Pull The Trigger ..See What comes out of you
And..When it flows...The Blood Smears with death!!
I Hate You!!I Hate you!!You Fear Me u Fear Me!!
You hear Me!!I Hate you!! I Hate You!!

3rd verse
Y wont u leave me alone....your messing with me!!
Stay away from me!!Dont make me go insane!!
You Tortured Me!!Haunted!!I Dont like You!!

Chorus 3
I..Take the gun..Stick it to your ******* head!!
I...Pull The Trigger ..See What comes out of you
And..When it flows...The Blood Smears with death!!

Final Verse #4
All My Life you have watched me
and hurt me,Dont make me!!Come after you
you die,i dont care about your life...when u die ill feel better!!!!!!!!

Final Chorus

I..Take the gun..Stick it to your ******* head!!
I...Pull The Trigger ..See What comes out of you
And..When it flows...The Blood Smears with death!!
I hate you!!!!I hate you!!!!you fear me!!you hear me!!
you die!!you die!!you die!!,my hands filled with ur ******* blood!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!! I HATE YOU!!!I HATE YOU!!!!
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is new stuff that i wrote about a month ago
its unfinished tho...so tell me what u think of it.....


THE MIND!
1st Verse
I was walking alone in the Dark
Finding a place for me to stay
Couldnt find anything anywhere
I was in the life...that I had lived

Chorus
I dont know Why I am here
I dont know Why I came
Why Cant I just Get away
From my life that has Tormented me!!!!

2nd Verse
Everywhere i Look Darkness Swells
Light Lurking through the holes
that i tried to dig out with my broken
heart ,beatn down,tortured mind

Chorus
I dont know Why I am here
I dont know Why I came
Why Cant I just Get away
From my life that has Tormented me!!!!


this is all i wrote so far...well wat do yall think?

~COPYRIGHTED~

Infectedmike. The lyrics are certainly "in your face," and I get that you "hate" me (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). If that was your sole intention, mission accomplished, but since you asked, I'd like to see more nuances, a little subtlety, and less punctuation.

Good luck with your band.

Infectedmike is in a metal band, Joe, nuance and subtlety are hardly requirements. Incidentally, did you ever notice that the true definition of subtle is the way they slip that 'b' into the word?

Heheh. How can I argue wid dat? And I don't, I swear, just my two cents...

influences?


I have been writing my lyrics since november.. the oldest song posted was "in the corner', which i wrote in december, those songs i wrote in march i think... i finished "unnamed", it is in another post called "Some things you lose, something you just give away (pure white gothic dress)"

I have no influenes, i listen to evancesence and metallica and green day and Jack off Jill, and they inspire me, but ijust right... some of it is emo,dreaded word, some of it is gothic, some of it is punk, some is rock... i'm all over the place

Somethings you lose, somethings you just give away (Pure white Gothic dress)

Pre CHorus:
I'm not alone anymore
you opened up the door
to the girl that makes me smile
and feel alive, ever since
you broke my heart

Verse 1:
Last night i had a dream
in it you were gone from me
and she was the only thing that mattered
and it was a relief not to see your face

My life is like a dream
in it your gone from me
and it's nice to know
there is only on girl
that makes me live the dream

chorus:
You were the dream
and i was just the dreamer
now with you gone from me
all that is left is the thought of you
your world is a memory to me

but now, out there is someone new
that can show me a new world
making new memories, and spending days
just hanging out - she's the dream
and your the nightmare inside of me

Verse 2:
I'm sorry, but it's time for me to go
in the hallwasy, you walk towards me
I can't wave or say hello
I don't want to look at your face
As far apart as we've grown
your still part of me
It's pains me to know
what was will never be

Verse 3:
That someone new, is someone great
something in her, lead her to me
and were very happy
it's better than you believe

but as the days go by,
your memory turns to a thing of pain
but there is something about you that has never gone away

Verse 4:
As our time in this world together fades to black
i don't want what we had

your memory remains a pure white gothic dress
simple and perfect, like our exsistence together was

I just want you to know - I'm over you
and i don't want your friendship
I just want to escape you

Forever you changed the person that i am
there's no forgetting - constant remembering
what we had

Flashing Lights

Verse 1:
Searching for something that i already have
searching for something i need a lot
seeking for you, seeking for me
just seeking for, clarity

Chorus: Just because what have - is misunderstood
doesn't mean what we have - isn't real for me
Just because what have - is misunderstood
doesn't mean it's not real in our lives

Verse 2:
Last night in the ambulance, the lights flashed bright around me... my mind went to another place - escaped the feelings and the pain.

the thoughts of you came to mind
how do i explain what i feel - whats on the inside
let's just take it one day at a time
be for me, before i'm gone

Verse 3:
clairty came to mind
when i stared at the flashing lights
this isn't a dream, it's real in my life
nothing outside of me, matters more than you

As the rain bears down around my head
your presence lingers
the thoughts of you never end

A girl, so original
your worth every minute i spend thinking of you

Verse 4:
You used to confuse me
but now, i am starting to understand your way
what you do, what you need
is everything i see

what you do, what you see
is everything i see

Verse 5:
The wind blows, the trees breathe
there is more to us, then our problems
Searching for clairty
Just be what i wanted you to be (2X)

man i love your stuff. what bands do u listen to?

Emily Dickinson thread....

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=695&highlight=

influences


I don't really have any influences.. as far as music i listent too.. i have been listening to a lot of AFI lately.. green day, metallica... lots of punk and rock, and metal.. but if i hear something lyrically i like.. i'll try to incorporate it into my music..

for instance the chorus of"Flashing LIghts"

Just because what have - is misunderstood
doesn't mean what we have - isn't real for me
Just because what have - is misunderstood
doesn't mean it's not real in our lives

was inspired by the choruses on AFI - sing the sorrow... they all have the same feel

i am primarily a drummer, but i wrote songs for my health...

i put most of them on my blog xanga.com/marsalienattak70

good for you. you got some good talent man

thanks... you gotta see the times are changing rewrite... i'm very happy with it

Times are Chaning (the rewrite)

Verse 1:
Everything i know is wrong.
Everything that was isn't anymore.
Where do i belong?
Save me from my ownself,

Where should i go from here?
You already belong to someone else
What do i really fear
Everything and nothing at all

CHorus:
Times are changing
You and I aren't meant to be
No one is happy
Nothing is the same today

Take me away
Take me to the past
Put me in a box
Let me try to forget

-------------------------------------

(the new part)

Verse 2:
You were the dream
why can't you be my reality

Why cant you be, here for me
Your memory is dead in my life

Two friends should never go out like we did
In the end your gone
All i want is
your friendship, your gone

Verse 3:
Today i know, nothing is what it looks like
Happiness is pain - that's your way
That's the kind of life you lead

What does that mean?
What do you mean?
Why won't you look at me

end the silence
All i want is your memory

Verse 4: (chageup in temp and feel)
And i see you through the window,
your looking at me
and I'm not supposed to notice you
but it's pretty clear you see
whatever feelings you felt
have hardly even changed
What you were could never go away

The last time we spoke,
I wasn't me, i was someone else
and you talked about me
like nothing ever changed

i'm lost without you
just look at me...
tell me what you feel.
be for me, like you were before
i need a friend from you - for me