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for believing/ to believe?

 
 
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 03:54 am
Hello there,

I've been working on a short story and I'm having trouble finding the right phrasing. Would be fantastic if a native speaker could tell me if this sentence is correct:

"I'm watching your gruelling race for believing your own denial"

-> Just to make sure everyone understands the meaning behind this: I'm trying to express that the person ("I" in that case) is watching someone else, who's trying very hard (running around, trying to distract himself from what's going on) to believe his own denial of the situation.

Is the above sentence correct or should I rather say ".. your gruelling race TO BELIEVE your own denial"?

Many thanks!!
Valentina
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,252 • Replies: 11
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contrex
 
  2  
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 04:04 am
I would use 'to believe', but I don't think that 'race' is a very choice. A race is against something: e.g. the clock, another person etc whereas he is alone. I would rather say ""I'm watching your strenuous efforts to believe your own denial".

Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 04:07 am
I would suggest that rather than race you use the word effort.
0 Replies
 
Valentineconstantly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 04:11 am
@contrex,
Thank you for the quick reply!! Are you sure that I could not use "gruelling race"? I particularly like the sound of that, "strenuous efforts" just does not sound very nice..
The other person is in kind of a race against the first person, since she knows what's going on, she does not deny it and somehow tries to make him see the truth as well , by not giving up, just sticking around and watching him.

I've changed it a bit - would it sound correct if I said "I'm watching your gruelling race, trying to believe your own denial"?


PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 07:23 am
Seems like you are in love with two phrases and are determined to combine them. Trouble is, it just doesn't make sense.
Valentineconstantly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 08:03 am
@Valentineconstantly,
"I'm watching your gruelling race, trying to believe your own denial"
?

or

"I'm watching your gruelling race to believe your own denial"
?

or

"I'm watching your gruelling race, you're trying to believe your own denial"
?


One of these must be right.. Can someone (who's absolutely sure about it) tell me?

Thanks in advance!!

Valentineconstantly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 08:06 am
@PUNKEY,
But what does not make sense about it exactly?
Debacle
 
  2  
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 10:05 am
@Valentineconstantly,
You seem intent on using the expression 'grueling race', so go ahead. But you should realize that it's an unusual expression in the context of the given sentence. It rather overpowers the main point of the statement: "You are trying to avoid the issue."

You might try using 'grueling race' in a separate sentence, or set if off with a semi-colon, thereby toning it down a bit.

"I see (notice or note) your grueling race. Desperate to find a way (or the means) to prevaricate, rather than simply facing the facts."

Alternatively: ".... grueling race; desperate to find ...."

Valentineconstantly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 10:44 am
@Debacle,
Thank you, that really helped!

I think the context is important - I'm not writing an article or something similar, it's a short story, it's pure fiction, so the figurative language and the slight "overpowering" is intended.

But to sum it up: " I'm watching your grueling race; you're trying hard to believe your own denial" makes sense, contentwise?

Thank you very much! ;-)

Debacle
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Jun, 2013 11:04 am
@Valentineconstantly,
Good on ya, mate.

Carry on. Smile
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Mon 17 Jun, 2013 09:20 pm
@Valentineconstantly,
'gruelling race' is fine. Evidently the term 'metaphor' has slipped everyone's mind.

"I'm watching your gruelling race which is obviously helping you in your own denial"

"I'm watching you run your gruelling race, the obvious intent of which is to aid you in your denial"

"I'm watching your gruelling race; it really helps you in your denial"
0 Replies
 
lillyandrew
 
  1  
Reply Wed 31 Jul, 2013 10:01 pm
@Valentineconstantly,
I would suggest that rather than race you use the word effort.
0 Replies
 
 

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