Revenge

Hmmm - I tend to see it as a very natural impulse, to which one ought not to give in.

I think revenge is a sort of bathing in negativity and primitive rage - one emerges dirtier than one went in - and I see it as harming its harbourer at least as much as its object.

Of course, some earlier societies have seen it as a kind of sacred duty - and some still do - while some in our culture still see it as a right - eg those who support the death penalty.

That may get discussion started!

dlowan- I don't see the death penalty as an act of revenge. IMO, as I have said before, I think that the dealth penalty needs to be reserved for the most heinous of acts...........serial killings, torture murders, kidnap murders of children.

I believe that there are a very small number of people who are so evil, so depraved, that they are way beyond rehabilitation, and certainly cannot ever rejoin society. I cannot approve of using taxpayer money to support for life, those persons who have so egregiously flouted the most basic tenets of civilized humanity.

Well, Phoenix, we will continue to disagree on what motivates the desire for a death penalty - (I am unsure what but that can motivate such an attitude - but let us agree to disagree) - but, your response suggests you do not agree with revenge? Am I right?

At least at its root the motivation behind the death penalty is vengeance, not justice - or the history of law/justice has to be re-written.

I am worried I have set this thread off - albeit accidentally - on a death penalty digression - and we all know where THAT leads!

Do you think revenge a negative, Walter?

Yes, although I like it sometimes personally - the clandestine joy, you know.

Why?

Well, I think, it's the archaic Germanic gen in my subconscious - Neanderthal isn't far away from here, too :wink:

No - the joy is understandable - the reasons for thinking it wrong?

Don't know really - because I was educated in such a way, I suppose.

Right. I see revenge as pointless, and destructive to the perpetrator of the revenge. I am a pretty easy going individual. I believe in "live and let live", If someone purposely sets out to hurt me, my first reaction would be verbal confrontation. If the issue could not be settled amicably, I would distance myself permanently from that person.

I believe that revenge gives the other person power over you, by allowing yourself to behave in a less than civilized manner, because of your reaction to that person. I would just rather let the entire issue go, and move on.

I wonder if there are any statistical variations on the propensity for taking revenge among males/females and different age groups? I think that I know the answer to that already, but it would be interesting to listen to other individuals' ideas.

If you sit by the bank of the river long enough, you'll see the bodies of all your enemies float by.

Basically, people will get what's coming to them on their own.

L.R.R.Hood - I agree. I think that the old saying, "What goes around, comes around," has a lot of validity!

What if you could get revenge with out the person knowing it was you? I wonder if that would quench the thirst?

I've found you get back whatever you send out threefold. So if you send out negative things like revenge, be prepared to get your ass kicked!

That would, I assume, be the East River?

Poison, stilletos, and to a lesser extent garroting may have more chic, but I figure there is no better revenge than getting the offender to realize and live with guilt for the rest of their lives. I did that to ex once who was a horrid philanderer. I spoke with her friends, collected information, and then one day, without warning, just picked up my stuff and left, and cut off all communication. Not only could she not stop calling me after that (I never answered, or hung up), she never could look me in the eye again. Even years later, after we had bothed moved on, she would relay messages to me her through mutual friends like her mother died, or she was getting married, to which I just said "So? Why would I care?" Anyway, that was a personal anecdote. She was a psycho, and I was glad to be rid of her.

LOL, sure

I agree wholeheartedly with dlowan, revenge may be natural but it is not nearly so sweet in the end. To me, the best revenge will always be living well. I guess that goes along with sitting on the riverbank watching the bodies go by.

It can be extremely difficult when someone treats you badly to NOT react. I didn't know how difficult until I had a stepmother who was the antithesis of my own sweet mother. For years I wondered what I'd done to deserve such a rat coming into my life. She had been a "friend" to my mother -- a nurse who met my mother during her cancer treatments. Once installed as mother's "replacement," the worm turned. She showed a strangely angry & bitter side. (One small example: she was forever jealous of the grandchildren getting access to my dad and torpedoed any family events.) We got over our shock after years of hurt feelings with a homespun litany that my siblings and I still repeat -- "She always has (now had) the misfortune to live inside herself."

Someone who treats another badly KNOWS what they've done. To my way of thinking, that eats holes in your psyche. No amount of prestige or material wealth can ever repair the damage. I'm glad that my conscience is reasonably clear (except for telling people about her). I am still surprised that anyone could be so nasty, but I found out that she had a very tough childhood and resented anyone who didn't. Not much of an excuse but it gives some insight into the true cause for her behavior.