You wont believe this!

Wed 28 Nov, 2012 08:42 am
I will try to make this short. My sister was an alcoholic 9 years ago and her husband and our brother were best friends, her daughter was VERY difficult and I as well as a few others could not handle her while my sister and her hubby worked. SO our brother volunteered. In short it was discovered brother was a pedophile and for years hurt my niece. My sister witnessed something inappropriate, and when my niece finally said he did something my sister believed her daughter and I did as well and have stayed in my nieces corner even when she retracted her statement. So fast forward my niece is now 21 and has a baby girl of her own and is in the middle of a divorce. My sister was the maid of honor at our brothers wedding and her husband was the best man.No one else was allowed to attend. Many people know what he has done and blame it on the fact that the brother was drinking also during that time. My niece says he doesn't bother her and my sister has the brother over when my niece is home (she lives out of state). But my sister and her husband respect her wish and does not let the brother hold that precious baby unless my niece or her hubby is there. My nieces hubby does not want him around his baby at all. The brother has had the gall to ask to hold the baby when my sister had the baby and brought her to church. So speaking of church my sister is a born again christian, and since becoming alcohol free she found church to be the best way to keep her sober and I was glad for her. I on the other hand am a person who won't keep my tongue in my pocket and I am an Atheist. I do not discuss being an Atheist I just don't believe and keep to my self. My husband believes in god and so doesn't my adult son but I do not put them down. My sister has forgiven the brother and says since he was ummm... dipped in water sorry I know different religions call it something else so I don't want to offend, he is a new man and any thing he has done before is erased and he can now live a ..a godly life?? I think it is BS. She has become real bible thumpy towards me and I am sick of it. I wonder, does she think she gets bonus points if she converts me? She just angers me? Does anyone have people like that in their life? What would you do with a "brother" like that? I haven't spoke to him for 8 years and my sister and I share a duplex. We used to be real close Sad
Wed 28 Nov, 2012 08:54 am
Assuming the veracity of all of your statements, I think your brother is a dry drunk who should've been put in jail a long time ago. Your family seems to be in pretty deep denial about just about everything. He really should be a felon.

I also think your over involvement with your niece and her affairs is misplaced. Your niece is a grown woman. Where was your involvement when she was a child being molested? So let your niece fight her own battles unless she asks for your opinion or your assistance. It seems that her choice is to also be in denial. I'd hate to see her therapy bill in a few years.

But getting to you - if your sister is actively trying to "bring you into the fold" such as it were, you can always tell her no. And don't be afraid to hit the nuclear option if you have to, e. g. threatening to cut off all future contact if she persists in trying to convert you. Tell her that you can respect her faith from afar but you do not need to be a part of it. As a bonus, you can respect her faith but still vehemently disagree with the issues with the niece and the niece's daughter.

Do you believe the niece's daughter is in any sort of danger? Pedophilia is very, very real and I've got my doubts that it'd be cured by a little water and praying. Even pedos who have an intense wish to change and a great deal of motivation can often still be tempted (this is a big part of why there is a sex offender registry in the United States - you don't say where you are - the registry exists because, even after doing hard jail time, there are men who are still tempted. The need to protect children in such an instance is paramount). If there is a true danger to the child, then feel free to step back in, but for the sake of protecting the child. Call Social Services if you must. You would not be the first person in the history of the world to report a family member.
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