Great at practice/tryouts, but just ok in games?

Please don't give up on her. Playing "OK" for a superior team has its merits.

I have a small sixth grade story - I and the neighborhood kids lived near the schoolyard. We played baseball a lot, when school was out, including in summer. I was good, or goodish, hit home runs, such as they were.

Sister Mel (loved her) took the class out for recesses to teach us baseball. I was an idiot at bat in those games.

Too much caring on my part, I assume. I wasn't loose and instinctual in those school games.

We were just talking about this! We separated people on sozlet's soccer team into "practice people" and "game people."

There are a few people on her team who are known as good and will do great in practice, but in games they just kind of fizzle. They don't tank or anything but they just aren't making a difference.

Then there are others who really bring a whole other level to their games -- adrenaline or something. They're not technically the best, but they step it up when it matters and end up being the game-changers.

She made the observation that practice people were overwhelmingly coaches' daughters. We couldn't quite figure out what the implications were.

Anyway, in this situation it sounds like it could be a matter of better competition. She has the pure skills -- shots etc. -- but it's another thing to translate to actual game play.

Especially in basketball. That was a big thing for me when I was starting out. When I got serious about it I started by just practicing my shots, dribble, etc. Then I took that to pick-up games -- and tanked spectacularly. People got in my way, hands in my face, threw off my rhythm, stole the ball, etc., etc. I think your daughter is probably way better than I was but some of the same elements may be there.

Anyway, you can probably get some feedback from her coaches about how far to take all of this. I think some of the elements are:

- How much does she enjoy it/ get out of it?

- How goal-oriented is her playing? That is, is the point to get a basketball scholarship to college, something like that?

- How easily can you afford it?

- What are the cost/ benefits physically? Example -- sozlet will never, ever be a professional dancer but she gets a lot out of dancing. I'm hesitant to bump her up to a higher soccer league though because I'm worried about overuse injuries.

Question linkie, are you not willing to pay the expense, or unable?

I'm trying to put myself in your daughters place, what she would be thinking.

I know you'd tell her in the best possible way, being a good parent and all.

It would more than cross my mind that I could only get to do something I really enjoyed if I was good enough (to your standards)
How would this affect how I felt about things in my future?

Investigate with her what's going on re her practice vs. game performance.


I just now thought that I have a story too.

In phys ed it was discovered I didn't exactly suck at running. I wasn't great, but wasn't horrible. I was good enough to try out. I made it, which thrilled me (I'm not into sports at all, I was happy because I felt like I was recognized/acknowledged)
We'd have practices, and again, I wasn't the fasted, and was nearer the bottom, but that was incentive for me to try harder, not to be last. Honestly, dope that I am about sports, I never even thought about track meets. I liked belonging, and didn't want to loose that.

I guess I missed one practice, but didn't think anything of it. The next Sunday, after church, I saw all the other girls on the team piling into a few cars. I asked Mary Ellen what was going on, and she said they were going to a track meet.
No one ever told me, and I felt like ****. I remember feeling desperate, wanting to tell my mom to quick take me home so I could get my clothes, as if anyone would still be there.

I've never had the eye of the tiger, but for a little while I was part of something, until I got the message no one was willing to "pay" for my presence.

BTW, I never was last.

Yeah - it is the time and money that concerns me. And she used to play so much harder in games before - almost looks like the heart isn't into it - but she says she loves it. She really (according to her) wants to play at the college level. If she were to continue playing this way, I can't see her making it.

Do I want to spend most weekends going to games? Rushing out of work to get her practice 2 -3 times a week. And we have a younger one that is just beginning at the travel level.

The thing is physically she is more suited at softball and she is an incredible short stop. It just seems if she really wants to complete makes sense she works on skills she is physically better suited for.

We do plan on speaking to the coach and see his thoughts. And she will have a new travel coach coming up that seems very level headed and has experience coaching girls so hopefully before spring when we could be potentially traveling to Chicago and Orlando we will know better whether to invest in it or not.

Speaking of coaches daughter - she performs better in games in softball where her dad is coach.

The thing is - she can continue playing basketball just not on AAU- travel and/or in town and next year high school. We actually told her that.

It is frustrating because she has the talent. And you get glimmers of it in games. She will have a really good game one day or a really good part of a game another day. And then she is just there. She doesn't turn the ball over and does well in being a team player passing and such and on defense - but she isn't doing great (not that there is anything wrong with - just when do you stop spending so much time, energy and money). It seems she is holding back - it is more she isn't pushing herself.

I suspect some of this has to do with self identity, which can shift, along with expectations of others, or conceived expectations of others.

Ahh....

on both posts of yours.

thanks.

My only semi-helpful thought on the matter: maybe she does better in practice because she knows everyone's foibles.

That's something that's happened to me in both tennis and fencing. If I played against the same people too often, I just wasn't prepared for competing against unknown opponents.

Is there a gym where she can play pick-up games, so that she has a wider range of experience?

What is with your tiger mom attitude? It seems like your daughter is doing fine, maybe your high expectation is rubbing off on your daughter the wrong way as nervous energy and bad vibes, especially in a high pressure situation such as a game.

I think you mis-understand. I am ok with her playing at a lower level. I am ok if she wants to be an ok player and play locally.

I am not ok with spending hundreds and potentially thousands of dollars to play in a national level unless she plays to her full potential.

In my opinion it is up to her which level she wants to play at. She says she wants to play college level, but doesn't perform at that level (even though she has shown she is capable). And to rush out of work to make sure she gets to practices, sending her to camps to improve her skills, and traveling nationally is too much time and money to spend to be ok.

I'm trying to be logically here - does it make sense to spend all this time and money to be a good player, but not excel to your full potential.

As a note, she is the starting guard still - it is just she is not playing to her potential and as well as she had previously.

I haven't had a deep talk with her about it. We have talked in the past to her if she doesn't want to play this competitively it is ok. She can still do in town and travel (which is local travel). I really want to get in her head to she want she is really thinking and feeling - it does seem more mental than physical so the mention above - probably makes some sense.

could be - she used to do this sometimes - we no longer have the gym membership we once did - the pickup (somewhat structured) games were combined boys and girls - it did make her a bit tougher.

It just strikes me - because I'd say a year to a year and half ago - she was spot on all the time. She would fight - she'd get mad sometimes and then you needed to watch out. I don't see a fire in her like she used to have. It was a joy to watch. I'm not saying she is a bad player now. She is good rarely turns the ball over, great ball handling, the technique is there, just not the same drive, aggressiveness.

Now a couple of weeks ago they played a 10th/11th grade team (hers is an 8th grade team) they lost by six points. But this was a game that showed my daughter's skills and she did really well.

So you see glimpses of it - just not at most games.

No disrespect but maybe she's not naturally talented as you make her out to be. Maybe as other athletes are finding their natural talent and groove, she's not keeping up with the pace of the other players in her league. Others are progressing where she's find a talent plateau or stagnation of sorts.

And to be honest I don't have an issue with that and if that is the case, then she would play locally.

The thing is though - she is regarded by her coach and players on her team as a top player - one player is yesterday's practice said you are my hero.

Another reason why I want to talk with the coach -

Your daughter's somewhere around 12 - 14 isn't she? I'd expect you to see lots of changes to how she approaches things simply related to hormonal changes - more/less intensity on a literally day by day basis.

A solid team player who doesn't turn over the ball, and can get the ball where it needs to be, can be of immense value even if they aren't a high-scoring player in their own right.

yes that could be - I think her coach would be a good resource for advice on how to motivate her and if she is a quality player that could evidently play college level. He has coached girls for I don't know how many years, but her team is the 50th team he has coached.

The team (if good enough) in the spring would be considered a college showcase team - basically you play in tournaments where college recruiters go to. This does not guarantee that you will get recruiter to a college, but most players are recruited this way - even for Division 2 schools. Not sure anything about Division 3.

Just get her to the free throw line - she is the best free thrower on her team.