@Atom Blitzer,
I got a smarter solution for you. Why don't you start looking at day trading. You can make money just by sitting on your bum and clicking a few buttons. But remember it takes money to make money.
Check out:
http://www.fool.com/
http://money.msn.com/investing/
Then
1. - Get a broker!
Most stock brokers have vital insider information on stocks, bonds and mutual funds that the general public doesn't know about.
2. - Learn the Lingo!
If you are going to be a serious investor, you will need to learn what is what so you can work with your broker to make the best decisions for you.
3. - Visit the bookstore!
There are literally thousands of stock market for beginners books out there, so don't be afraid to pick one up.
4. - Learn how to identify risk!
No matter what anyone tells you, investing always carries risk.
5. - Patience is the key!
Stock market investing is a marathon, not a sprint.
The best thing with this is that you can go to sleep with a clear conscious.
I wish you the best of luck, man.