6
   

OmSigDavid - A Shoot Your Own Adventure Story

 
 
DrewDad
 
Reply Tue 17 Apr, 2012 03:19 pm
Quote:
You awaken to your alarm clock.


Do you:
A) Get up
B) Hit the snooze button
C) GET YOUR GUN!





Quote:
You have your gun resting comfortingly against your side.


Do you:

A) Get up
B) Hit the snooze button
C) SHOOT THE CLOCK!




Quote:
You get up and prepare for the day.

As you are leaving your apartment, a WILD HOODLUM appears! It is cleverly disguised as your next-door neighbor, Mrs. Peabody.


Do you:

A) Greet Mrs. Peabody
B) Ignore the suspected criminal
C) SHOOT THE HOODLUM!






Quote:
Mrs. Peabody returns your greeting.

You are leaving your apartment building.


Do you:
A) Turn left
B) Turn right
C) DOUBLE-CHECK THAT YOU HAVE ENOUGH AMMO




Quote:
You are adequately supplied with ammunition.

Suddenly, a WILD HORDE appears! It is disguised as a group of children waiting for a school bus.


Do you:

A) Look more closely
B) Pass by with your hand on your pistol grip
C) SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THEM ALL!




Quote:

You peer suspiciously at the HORDE. It does not react.


Do you:

A) Walk the other way
B) Cautiously creep around the HORDE.
C) SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THEM ALL!






Quote:
You turn around and seek a coffee shop in the other direction.

As you enter the establishment, a WILD HOODLUM appears behind the counter. It is poorly disguised as a barrista.


Do you:

A) Order a tall latte
B) Order a cuppacino
C) SHOOT THE HOODLUM! DO IT NOW!





Quote:
As you are ordering your delicious, sugary coffee, the HOODLUM behind the counter shoots you and then takes your money and your precious, precious gun.

Return to page one to start over.
 
BumbleBeeBoogie
 
  2  
Reply Tue 17 Apr, 2012 04:05 pm
@DrewDad,
So funny, he earned it!

BBB
0 Replies
 
Lustig Andrei
 
  5  
Reply Tue 17 Apr, 2012 04:08 pm
Me, I'm still with Smokey and Yogi on the constitutional right to arm bears.
0 Replies
 
rosborne979
 
  3  
Reply Tue 17 Apr, 2012 07:43 pm
@DrewDad,
DrewDad wrote:

Quote:
As you are ordering your delicious, sugary coffee, the HOODLUM behind the counter shoots you and then takes your money and your precious, precious gun.
My Precious, don't take my Precious, pleeeeaaaazzzzzeeee.
raprap
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Apr, 2012 02:33 am
Magoo wakes suddenly in a darkened bedroom and sences movement near the foot of his bed. Reaching under his pillow for his trusty revolver, a big 22, he finds the trigger and wildly aims into an out of focus haze. He shoots and hits himself in his piss erect dong.

Rap
oolongteasup
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Apr, 2012 04:01 am
@raprap,
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSTC7n0PiVHYJ3sDMuNdIiL0hIcwAmi8xeyHsft5a5sSCqsQRO3ow

The barrista sences that he has shot half his r's off only to see the essence of the half dawn horn as it blows thru the ricochet of a land that is not long forgotten because it owes so much to the poor from whom they have borrowed trillions, as he pours his soul out into another coff.
0 Replies
 
eurocelticyankee
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Apr, 2012 04:06 am
@DrewDad,
OmSigDavid
C+C+C+C+C+C+C https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2DjqNudEwFuimyQoyD8rEz6NlnPy4bjOJFeJrPVUCiwFOEYsV
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Thu 19 Apr, 2012 07:28 am
@DrewDad,
Quote:
You awaken to your alarm clock.

Do you:
A) Get up
B) Hit the snooze button
C) GET YOUR GUN!
I almost never set it, unless I 'm going to the airport.






Quote:
You have your gun resting comfortingly against your side.

Do you:

A) Get up
B) Hit the snooze button
C) SHOOT THE CLOCK!
No; was that Elvis??






Quote:
You get up and prepare for the day.

As you are leaving your apartment,
I live in a house.






DrewDad wrote:
a WILD HOODLUM appears!
It is cleverly disguised as your next-door neighbor, Mrs. Peabody.

Do you:

A) Greet Mrs. Peabody
B) Ignore the suspected criminal
C) SHOOT THE HOODLUM!
This is NY.
Ignoring is good.






Quote:
Mrs. Peabody returns your greeting.

You are leaving your apartment building.

Do you:
A) Turn left
B) Turn right
C) DOUBLE-CHECK THAT YOU HAVE ENOUGH AMMO
Its e z to check for moon clips.




Quote:
You are adequately supplied with ammunition.

Suddenly, a WILD HORDE appears! It is disguised as a group of children waiting for a school bus.

Do you:

A) Look more closely
B) Pass by with your hand on your pistol grip
C) SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THEM ALL!
Throw them COINS,
but no nickels nor pennies.




Quote:
You peer suspiciously at the HORDE. It does not react.

Do you:

A) Walk the other way
B) Cautiously creep around the HORDE.
C) SHOOT THEM! SHOOT THEM ALL!
Throw more coins,
but away from the street.






Quote:
You turn around and seek a coffee shop in the other direction.
I don 't like coffee. Tea is worse.





Quote:
As you enter the establishment, a WILD HOODLUM appears behind the counter.
It is poorly disguised as a barrista.

Do you:

A) Order a tall latte
B) Order a cuppacino
C) SHOOT THE HOODLUM! DO IT NOW!
Find a good restaurant.
I like French or Italian.







Quote:
As you are ordering your delicious, sugary coffee, the HOODLUM behind the counter shoots you
and then takes your money and your precious, precious gun.

Return to page one to start over.
That 's what the back-up gun is for.





David
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Apr, 2012 07:34 am
@rosborne979,
DrewDad wrote:
Quote:
As you are ordering your delicious, sugary coffee, the HOODLUM behind the counter shoots you and then takes your money and your precious, precious gun.
rosborne979 wrote:
My Precious, don't take my Precious, pleeeeaaaazzzzzeeee.
Hence, the wisdom of back-up guns, Rosborne.





David
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Apr, 2012 07:40 am
@raprap,
raprap wrote:
Magoo wakes suddenly in a darkened bedroom and sences movement near the foot of his bed. Reaching under his pillow for his trusty revolver, a big 22, he finds the trigger and wildly aims into an out of focus haze. He shoots and hits himself in his piss erect dong.

Rap
Its irresponsible to use a .22 for defensive purposes.





David
rosborne979
 
  2  
Reply Thu 19 Apr, 2012 07:46 am
@OmSigDAVID,
OmSigDAVID wrote:
Hence, the wisdom of back-up guns, Rosborne.
Everyone knows about backups, so they would take that as well. Which means that you will need a backup for the backup and so on and so on.... I recommend that you walk about like a gun-porcupine just bristling with armament over every square inch of your body.

(by the way, you're missing the point, this thread is just to tease you for being a gun nut. And it's good to see you have a sense of humor about it. People with humor are less likely to go nuts and shoot everyone with their vast inventory of completely unnecessary guns). Wink
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Apr, 2012 08:11 am
@rosborne979,
OmSigDAVID wrote:
Hence, the wisdom of back-up guns, Rosborne.
rosborne979 wrote:
Everyone knows about backups, so they would take that as well. Which means that you will need a backup for the backup and so on and so on.... I recommend that you walk about like a gun-porcupine just bristling with armament over every square inch of your body.
Well, the 2nd Amendment does not warrant that u will win every gun fight.
It just promises that government will not partner-up with the bad guys, by disarming the victims prospectively.




rosborne979 wrote:
(by the way, you're missing the point, this thread is just to tease you for being a gun nut.
Yeah, but I can have fun with it TOO.
"Turnabout is fair play."






rosborne979 wrote:
And it's good to see you have a sense of humor about it.
People with humor are less likely to go nuts and shoot everyone
with their vast inventory of completely unnecessary guns). Wink
Most of my gun collection is unloaded and "unnecessary" as u put it,
as is my collection of gold coins.

My security requirements were satisfied long ago.
I look upon new additions as works of art or of artifacts of history.





David
0 Replies
 
raprap
 
  2  
Reply Thu 19 Apr, 2012 08:57 am
@OmSigDAVID,
The only problem is that this was based on a true story I read in a newspaper in the early 80's.

As far as 22's I have a High Standard semi automatic 22 that was bought surplus from the Marine Corps. It seems that during WWII each Marine company was issued two of these handguns to use on long range patrols. Morover it was a favorite weapon of the WWII OSS when fitted them with a silencer. So, yes a 22 may not be a good 'defensive' weapon, but it is a hell of an 'offensive' one.

Rap
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Apr, 2012 09:14 am
@OmSigDAVID,
It's an homage, not a biography.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Apr, 2012 01:44 am
@raprap,
raprap wrote:
The only problem is that this was based on a true story I read in a newspaper in the early 80's.

As far as 22's I have a High Standard semi automatic 22 that was bought surplus from the Marine Corps. It seems that during WWII each Marine company was issued two of these handguns to use on long range patrols. Morover it was a favorite weapon of the WWII OSS when fitted them with a silencer. So, yes a 22 may not be a good 'defensive' weapon, but it is a hell of an 'offensive' one.

Rap
Yes, so if u need something for a John Wilkes Booth
type job, the .22 is good for u.

The lady who lives across the street from me
works for the NYC Medical Examiner's Office.
She agrees with that.

I have a 9 round .22 Taurus revolver.
It has almost no discernable recoil.





David
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Apr, 2012 01:49 am
@DrewDad,
DrewDad wrote:
It's an homage, not a biography.
Thank u.
I 'm glad that I was home when I read it.





David
izzythepush
 
  0  
Reply Fri 20 Apr, 2012 04:08 am
@OmSigDAVID,
When you get home there is a brown manilla envelope lying on your doormat. You open it to find a set of glossy photographs of your naked bottom.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Apr, 2012 04:19 am
@izzythepush,
Suitable for what purpose ?
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Apr, 2012 05:29 am
@OmSigDAVID,
It's a shoot your own adventure story, you can decide that. I was just trying to add a bit of verisimilitude.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Apr, 2012 05:37 am
@izzythepush,
I was rather surprized
when a great flash of light came from behind me
in the hospital, in 2005. When I turned around,
I saw a pervert in a white colored coat, with a camera
standing a few yards away. Tho I was taken aback,
I was not angered, nor did I wish him any harm.
It appears that he suffers under a mental disorder; sad.

I don 't imagine that this was his first such picture.

Someone might get mad at him ( but not me, not then ).





David
0 Replies
 
 

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