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I just don’t understand drinking and driving

 
 
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farmerman
 
  9  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 05:58 am
@Enoughisenough,
Stop being an idiot.

Many of "these people" especially the knew who knew him are , in some way using this thread to attain some degree of "closure" on a sad situation.
The fact that someone commited suicide over a felony he commited isnt unusual today, but the people that remain will forever be trying to find out more in order to try to resolve their own relationships they had with the guy. They dont need "Sister Superior" to come along and order a single file departure.

I had one of my employees commit suicide almost 10 years ago and I spent the better part of a year trying to resolve my own guilt for not catching the signs of his impending action. This forum helped me reach conclusions that there was damn little I coulda done about it.I was really appreciative of them all.

As my mom always said
"In my day people just dropped dead, nowadays everybody wants to know why?"
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  2  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 09:31 am
@hawkeye10,
Hawkeye in this case I both agree with you and disagree with you at the same time.

Yes, I agree that the punishment model have gone insanely overboard in the US criminal justify system to say the least and can help result in this kind of sad outcome however when the people who knew this gentleman is using this thread to try to reach closure and grieving it does not seems a good time to address this matter until they had have the time to post good-byes to their friend and love one.
firefly
 
  4  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 11:15 am
@Enoughisenough,
I don't know why you are trying to make people feel guilty for their participation in this thread.

This thread wasn't started to discuss Thom--he's not identified in the opening post--it was started to discuss the issue of drunk driving, and that's what most of the thread has been about.

Thom wasn't identified in this thread until the accident, and his arrest, became a highly public matter because of the news releases, and many news stories about it, that began appearing and which were available all over the internet--just typing his name into Google brings up numerous pages with pictures of his mug shot, in addition to the news account of the accident and arrest.

So there was no invasion of privacy going on in this thread--people were commenting on a publicly known matter, and a legal case that was going on in a public courtroom. And I'm sure this case was talked about by considerably more people in Thom's community and social circle than the very few acquaintances of his who posted in this thread. Why wouldn't you expect people to talk about it? It's something that arouses all sorts of emotions and reactions--particularly if you know the person involved. And, in this forum, we've discussed many other news stories, on other legal issues, and voiced opinions on the people involved in those criminal acts, and discussed the laws they were charged with violating. None of this is new to A2K or unique to Thom's case.

I'm sure that all the publicity and available public information was distressing to Thom, on top of the stress created by the accident itself, his legal situation and expenses, and the dire consequences he had to deal with. But I don't think that anyone here should feel guilty about participating in this particular thread. No one posting here put Thom in the situation he found himself in, they simply offered comments about that situation, and a great many, if not most, of those comments, viewed this entire situation as a tragedy, and focused on it as a reminder for reasons to not drink and drive. And, if that helps someone else to avoid drinking and driving, perhaps some good can come out of this entire horrible ordeal that has cost two lives.

But I do not agree with you that people should now stop talking about Thom, or remembering him, or offering condolences to his family and friends, and using this thread for that purpose. Should they just pretend this turn of events hasn't happened, or that they don't have a reaction to it? I didn't even know the man and I am saddened by this tragic conclusion to his life, but I've also found that the comments being made, by those who did know him, help to flesh out and balance a fuller picture of him as a human being. And allowing those comments to be made is also a way of paying respect to him, so that those of us who didn't know him will remember something more about him than just his involvement in a tragic accident.

If you see comments that disturb you, just give those posts a thumbs down and they will collapse and disappear from your view. That's about your only control in this matter.

hawkeye10
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 11:27 am
@firefly,
Quote:
I'm sure that all the publicity and available public information was distressing to Thom,

the state was front and center pushing "information" and trying to make his life miserable. this does not generally happen in Europe, this bit of retribution upon the unconvicted is an American thing. maybe we should stop doing it.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 11:32 am
@BillRM,
Quote:
when the people who knew this gentleman is using this thread to try to reach closure

i am trying to reach closure as well. that state was pushing around a fellow citizen while using my name to justify it, and now that citizen is dead. I want to know why, and want to try to make changes so that we can get a better result in the future. for instance we all need to answer for the fact that thom was threatened with 30 years of prison for running into a drunk homeless man on a bike that almost certainly did not have proper lighting. we all need to answer for the fact that a granddaughter of Barrys, a woman who almost certainly hardly knew barry, had a reasonable chance of turning this accident into a payday at thoms expense even though Barry had not been a productive member of society for a long time and was not likely to ever be one again.
BillRM
 
  4  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 12:22 pm
@hawkeye10,
Hawkeye I agree as you know that the state had become more the problem then the solutions to it and I too was amuse that a distance family member of the homeless gentleman was looking for some kind of a payday out of the accident.

I just think we should cool the discussion for now over these issues on this thread.
hawkeye10
 
  -3  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 12:27 pm
@BillRM,
Quote:
I just think we should cool the discussion for now over these issues on this thread


the counter argument is that american attention spans are now very short, so if one desires progress they should strike while the iron is hot.

besides, we have had a year to get used to the fact that thoms life was effectively over, is life being biologically over is a different degree of the same.
Rockhead
 
  8  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 12:41 pm
@hawkeye10,
you're an ignorant self centered puke without an ounce of empathy...
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 12:49 pm
@Rockhead,
Not an ounce of empathy, but bullshit by the ton.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 01:07 pm
@Rockhead,
Rockhead wrote:

you're an ignorant self centered puke without an ounce of empathy...
as i recall i am the only one here who had empathy for thom while he was still alive. my conscience is clear.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Dec, 2012 01:12 pm
@hawkeye10,
empty is not the same as clear.
0 Replies
 
PerryFoscotti
 
  4  
Reply Mon 10 Dec, 2012 02:30 pm
We go through life making mistakes, you made only one my friend and one you couldn’t live with.

Rest in Peace Thom.

You will always be remembered as a kind soul.
Sloan
 
  4  
Reply Tue 11 Dec, 2012 07:00 am
Here is the information for Thom’s memorial service this Friday, starts at 6PM for those wanting to attend.

http://obit.brettfuneralhome.net/obitdisplay.html?id=1140969&listing=Current
firefly
 
  4  
Reply Tue 11 Dec, 2012 11:11 am
@Sloan,
Thanks for posting that, Sloan.

Reading the comments in the guest-book, which are mainly from his co-workers right now, it is obvious that Thom was well liked, and valued, and thought of as a friend, by those whose lives he touched.

My heart really goes out to his mother, who has now lost a second child. I hope she will find some peace and comfort to help her deal with her grief and loss.

Sloan
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Dec, 2012 09:00 am
@firefly,
firefly wrote:

Thanks for posting that, Sloan.


You’re welcome. It is indeed a sad ending. I know Thom is at peace now. It was a horrible year for him.
MMarciano
 
  7  
Reply Wed 12 Dec, 2012 06:24 pm
@Sloan,
Yes in deed a tragic ending to this story. Mr. Swift my thoughts and prayers go out to your family and friends left to mourn this great loss. May you all find the courage and strength to move forward in peace and confidence and in knowing that Thom's at peace.
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  6  
Reply Wed 12 Dec, 2012 08:51 pm
For Thom's friends and family...

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/77043_306680279433005_727300028_n.jpg
FOUND SOUL
 
  3  
Reply Thu 13 Dec, 2012 02:54 am
@Butrflynet,
That's a beautiful thing to do Butrflynet....

0 Replies
 
Mattingly
 
  6  
Reply Thu 13 Dec, 2012 08:30 pm
I will attend Thom's memorial service tomorrow.

"Tolerance implies a respect for another person, not because he is wrong or even because he is right, but because he is human."

Rest well my friend.
0 Replies
 
 

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