should I sign the lease?

Not no, but hell no! You've been unhappy for 8 months, you're in counseling even before you're married, and you are not satisfied with the counseling. I know I'm pretty much repeating what you just said, but thought it might look different if someone said it back to you.

Anyway, what's up with a lease agreement like that? I'm pretty sure the lease would be between you and the landlord, and enforceable regardless of any side agreement you might make with him.

I don't know why you say you are still engaged to the guy. I mean, marriage doesn't usually make a relationship better. If you're not floating on clouds now, you won't later, either.

I agree with Roger. If the guy is saying you won't be responsible for half the rent payments, the best way to assure that is to never sign at all. I smell bullshit on the guy's part.

This seems pretty obvious to me; " I know, I'll move to the area she's always dreamed of living in, that'll get her back."
Don't let desire be your undoing

You do not have to sign a lease prior to moving in. It will not be convenient , helpful or save time like he may suggest.

You can sign that lease the DAY you decide to move in, and even a few weeks after. It does not take but a few minutes to have a lease altered and until you DO move in, do not sign it.

You WILL be held responsible for ANYTHING that would happen no MATTER what he would say because you would be ON the lease. Once that paper is signed, it is a legal document that says you take responsibility....even if you do not move in. Since there would be NO WAY to prove you DID NOT move in after you sign a lease, you would be in deep trouble if anything happened.

Realize in the eyes of the rental law, no one signs a lease where they do not live. So do not live there until you are ready, and do not falsify a document to say you DO live there when you do not. Just keep yourself clear of that for awhile.

Making up your mind to marry when you are feeling that kind of hesitation is not easy. But it sounds like he is trying to 'keep you' around by tying you to SOMETHING so that he feels a bit more secure. Not saying what he is doing is malice....but..if he wants to try to be and feel secure about things, a legal document is NOT the way to go.

Tell him NO!!!

WHY would you sign a legal document that puts you into a partnership with a person you don't even trust?

Can you see how he is trying to manipulate you?

He is dangling a carrot in front of your face . . .

Agreed all around with those above.

Not saying don't work on the relationship if you really want to - but under the circumstances where things are not solid and you don't know if you will be together - it would be plain dumb to sign.

Just tell him - until you resolve all your differences and work this out, you cannot commit with a signed lease. You care for him (if this is true) and want to work on it with him via counseling (again this is true). But sorry I cannot commit at this time. A reasonable person would understand this.

I agree with all and would absolutely not step into marriage with this guy. Far better to be alone than promise to forever stay with someone who does not listen to you. What's up with that?

Roger nailed it.

If you don't wish to work it out with a counselor, I can't imagine that you're a good fit.

Regardless, as @shewolfnm said, you don't have to sign the lease. If you're not sure it'll work out you can agree to move in and pay half the rent month to month with a verbal contract. If he doesn't trust you enough to not have you sign a lease then just leave, there's nothing there for either of you.