Is this verbal abuse?

Anger doesn't necessitate abuse. Throwing things can be a form of physical intimidation, and while I don't know if that's legally abusive, it's certainly childish and immature.

Swearing at and hitting a child is abuse. Regardless of if it hurts or not. I'm not one of those that condemns spanking, I think a solid pat on the rear is a perfectly acceptable way to discipline a child. However doing it in anger (which is what I assume is the case when swearing is involved) is dangerously close to abuse.

Just my opinion. Likely won't be shared by all.