He’s going to have two daddies

That certainly is rude! I hope you told her that this is not acceptable behavior, she definitely needs to be honest about pick-up times.

Did she finally show up?

She called about midnight and I could tell by her slurring she had a few drinks. I told her to leave him here and I would get him to school today, I wasn't about to have her drive away with that little boy while drunk. I'll give her all kinds of hell when I get home today.

Unbelievable! Ya done good, MM.

I feel bad for little Justin, he’s not a bad kid just needs some discipline. No wonder he comes across as a brat sometimes with a mother dumping him off on people he really doesn’t even know.

He was a lot better this time, so he obviously appreciates hanging round you guys. I wouldn't want to be in her shoes, I hate getting told off, and I bet you're really good at it.

I'm not but the Puerto Rican is

Will you be sitting on as a witness, looking disaprovingly, or in the other room playing with the kids?

And the Tortoises

Today didn’t go over very well. I kept my cool but told her what I thought, she didn’t like what I had to say but it had to be said.

A couple of the parents I have come to know told me she usually dumps little Justin off every weekend at someone’s house while she’s out partying.

Yes she does and I really don’t mind him being here, he’s Antonio’s little friend and now I feel bad for Justin because the other parents won’t watch him, his mother has lied to all of them.

I don’t think it’s a good idea he stays here again, suppose she does the same thing then comes around to pick him up and she smells like booze? Then what do we do? Can’t allow her to take him in that condition and then what?

then you tell her to come back when she's sober...

don't give up on the kid if you don't have to.

every positive difference in his young life can make a difference...

I really don’t want to do give up on him and I won't. I think I’ll have a talk to her but I’m not sure what to say to her. I’m still new at this whole parenting thing. I have a feeling if she really wanted to go out and couldn’t find someone to watch him she would put him to bed and leave him alone until she came home. I don’t want to think about that either.

I'd let Justin stay with you, he is Antonio's friend, and at least you know Justin is safe with you.

If she shows up smelling of booze, don't let her take Justin. If she doesn't like that, I'd call the police and let her deal with them, or with protective services. And, if she drops her child off with you, and "forgets" to come back for him for an extended time, I think I'd do the same thing. I would side with trying to protect this child from an irresponsible parent, and if she takes him in a car with her when she is drunk, she is a dangerous parent.

Your other option, of course, is not to be involved with her or her child.

you tell her, in such a way that she knows that you guys know about the other parents, that Justin is welcome at your house, but...

she needs to be straight up about it, and not try to lie to you. ever...

she needs help. you just gotta make sure you keep it where you guys are comfortable.

then you decide how much to let her use you. on your terms...

parenting is mostly about heart.

you are gonna be fine...

He’s welcome to come here anytime but his mother better be responsible enough to bring an overnight bag and be upfront and honest about him spending the night. I don’t have a problem with that. As far as I’m concerned as long as she is making sure that little boy is taken care of while she’s out partying she’s a fit mother and I hope I don’t ever hear he was left alone.

Justin was fine last night; nothing like the first day he spent here. Once he learned we were the adults and he was the child he quickly caught on that we had our own rules and they were different then the rules he had in his own home. We will welcome him back with the intent he’s here for the night, she comes around to pick him up at midnight and she’s been partying, she has a big problem.

Good on ya.

Justin's lucky to have a friend like Antonio - who has dads like you two. Love and responsibility go a long way.

I was fortunate I had my sister I could leave Antonio with when I was going to school and working.

Yes you were, but everyone can make arrangements with babysitters there is really no excuse for her behavior. I feel sorry for the little guy, he's been
pushed around by his mother for quite some time as it looks like.

If it's not too much of a bother for the two of you, maybe you could offer her that you'd take Justin every Friday for a sleep over . This way she can go out and party on one evening and Justin has a nice place where he has Antonio and you guys looking after him.