How come I never have any PM's? how come I dont have any followers?

if you follow someone you can click on the "My Friends" button and see the latest posts by those you follow

Hi GracieGirl

Having followers allows people to look at your posting with a quick click; following people is only so you can quickly access specific people's posts by clicking on their avatar/username - it's really nothing to do with popularity or any anything like that.

Please do be careful asking folk/adults to PM you - if you wish to talk then it may be better to be talking out in the open than private messaging with adults (not trying to lecture you but just hoping that you will be careful who you talk to, at the age you're at; you need to exercise a little caution). I have a 14yr old son and would certainly prefer him to be talking openly on a forum and not talking privately with adults.

It's often quite quiet around A2K during the weekend in the daytime but get's a little busier later on in the day.

Take care

very well said...

some of us here are not what we might seem to be. the internet is a scary place.

be careful out there, gracie...

Oh! Thanks Lizzie! That makes me feel better about the followers thing. I don't have any and some people, like you, have tons! I thought I was doing something wrong or I was boring or something.

I just want people to PM me beacuse I want to fit in here. I want to have a lot of friends and followers and I want to talk to a lot of people. I want them to like me. Its been a boring summer. I haven't been able 2 get out a lot because I've been grounded so I guess I get bored and I want to talk on the internet. HaHa! I'm gonna ask my friends to get on a2k so I can talk to them. My sister doesn't want one.

I'll be careful if I PM people. Don't worry.

I don't think new members have PM privileges. And I don't recall when they are allowed.

Thanks guys!

I know you're being nice and all but just because I'm a teenager doesn't mean I'm stupid. I like to talk to people but I won't give them any personal imformation like my address, phone nember, school, and pictures or anything. All I people know about is my first name and a few family and school problems and that I like in California. Nothing else, and no one really cares about that stuff.

You guys are kinda protective; maybe because you have kids of your own? Its really cool and sweet to know that your looking out for me but I'm fine. I get enough of the protective stuff in the real world with my dad. Ha!

But seriously, I'm not doing anything bad or dangerous, I don't think. So thanks but I'm good. Besides, everybody here is really nice and sweet to me. I'm just having some fun, you don't have to worry.

I do have PM privileges. I'm not that new. Will people get annoyed if I PM them just to say 'Hi!'?

If they don't know you, there's a good chance of that happening.

Ha! Okay, Thanks. I won't do it then.

Hi Gracie

Well, I can only speak myself, of course, so what I say may not reflect other folk's opinions.

I've been here a number of years and met a lot of A2Ker's, who have met other A2Kers, so I know them and they know me and such and such knows such and such, as much as is possible when talking cyberly - so I feel safe with whom I PM with.

However, I do think that many folk would be wary of talking to a young lady privately, without at least ensuring other members were aware they were doing so. There's a number of reasons for this - one being that it would be for their protection too if they are conversing with a young teenager.

The problem is, with Private Messaging, no-one else can see those messages - not even the mods - so I would imagine a number of people would rather not talk with a young lady in a closed space because it could, not would, but could be misconstrued in some way.

I'm 46 and only starting talking on the internet around 3.5 - 4 yrs ago - I had never talked with folk cyberly or on a forum - and I still know people here for watch out for me - so it's not just an age thing - it is very easy to be drawn in to talking to someone personally. You may think that everyone is trustworthy, but you really don't know who you're talking to - and it's easy to let slip personal details as you start chatting. I think I'm a good judge of character, but I have proved myself wrong on that one before so I am pretty careful now who I talk to privately. If I were to be meeting a person - I would ensure that some people knew about it.

I think, and again, just my opinion, that some people would just say "hi" back - but they could probably do that openly on a thread if they wished to.

This is only my perspective, so I'm sure if anyone wants to put another point of view forward, they will do so.

We had another young lady here at the end of last year who didn't live far from me in the UK. I was PM conversing just for a brief time about services available to her in our country that she could access to get some counselling - but I could prove who I was, as I work in a primary school, so it would have been easy for her parents to check me out and contact my Headteacher - which they may well have done to see if I was who I said I was.

Of course, for all I know, she could have been 'anyone' - and I fell for it... who knows. I went with a judgement call and gut instinct that what she said was the truth. It could have come back and bitten me on the bahookie tho, had I been wrong.

I didn't give her the details on a thread of the services available because that would have disclosed where she lived. I also asked her to ensure that her parents knew she was talking with me. Even so, I was very aware of what I said and didn't keep it secret from other members that I had exchanged PM's with her - that was to protect myself as well as to make it clear to her that tho what she said privately would remain private, that I would not get into any compromising situation.

See - it get's a little complicated if you think it through.

As I say, I'm 46 - and the internet can still be a scary place - but I am an adult so I am wholly responsible for myself.

I think if people are around, they will chat on threads - I'm not telling you what to do because I don't have the right to do that, but I am a Mom and would just advise caution.

Speaking for myself I don't send a lot of messages or receive too many either. I've communicated that way with a total of 16 (possibly 15 as at least one may have had a name change) and 4 of them are no longer posting (unless they too had name changes) and have at present 6 followers but haven't taken it upon myself to follow anybody. It took 6 years (minus about 3 for health things) to get this far. In 2 cases it (messaging) began on my part so as not to clutter the main board with a squabble which wasn't serving anyone.

I can't tell you about Twitter since I don't use it as I believe it's all part of an alien conspiracy started by residents on the lost planet of Cronkite, in a galaxy not far far away.

To answer your first question, "following" people doesn't mean you like them or want to be friends. It just means you like to read that person's posts because their topics happen to interest you. It's really not a popularity thing.

Also, I've been here a long time, and I get very few PMs. Again, it's not a measure of popularity. The purpose is to allow posters to talk to people individually when their remarks are private or just not meant for everyone to see. I only PM people if it's important (and I already know them pretty well), so I wouldn't like getting PMs that just said, "Hi." But that's just me.

Most things can be communicated just fine through regular posts.

And yeah, it does get slow around here on weekends. (Just like real life!)

Oh, and "Hi, Gracie!"

Hi Gracie,

I've been here a long time (since 2004) and although I know a lot of people here for a long time, I rarely send a PM or receive one, because I feel this is a very private matter and these things are reserved for people you know very well and perhaps have met in person.

Most of us could be your parents and it's nice and refreshing to have a 13 year old hang out here, but we're not really your friends. Your friends should be your age and you should know them in person. Again, we're parent-like to you and that's where it should remain. You need to hang out with people your own age and make friendships that way. It's not healthy for adults to have a 13 year old as a friend and exchange private messages.

Do not encourage this sort of behavior! The internet comes with responsibilities, even at your age, so please act accordingly. This is a
"motherly" advice I have given my own daughter who is about 2 years older than you.

I agree wholeheartedly. It is dangerous to be "hooking up" with people who are unknown to you, especially in an anonymous context. Join a club at school, take karate or dance lessons, be a volunteer, join a community theater group. It's fine for you to follow and take part in discussions here, but even at Able2Know, the most appropriate role for you is to ask questions, and then sift through the answers for the rare gem of wisdom. Personal messages are over rated anyway. My two cents worth....

Ok, well, I guess I didn't think about it that way. You're right, when I talk to people I do kinda let stuff slip without realizing it. It is really complicated. Can PM's get deleted by moderators if I accidentally say something I don't mean to?

HaHa! Aliens? Your funny! :p

Twitter is boring. I just like to read what the celebrities talk about

I've been posting on this forum off-and-on since around 2002. I've PM'd only 2 people in all that time and have never physically met anyone here.

I wasn't aware that you are only 13. No wonder you're bored.

I would be careful of pm'ing people if they have not messaged you first due to the fact that it COULD be seen as spam and might get you banned. Even if it is just to say Hi.

Hi GracieGirl - there's no facility to delete PM's at this time. To the best of my knowledge, mods are not able to access PM's at all, so no, whatever you say is out there until such time as the PM get's knocked into cyberspace. If you click on the "contact us" at the bottom of the page, I'm sure a mod can confirm or correct me.

You need to remember too that whatever you say in private, that person can copy that info simply by copy and paste and send it to anyone else in the world if they wish to. That's why I think it's probably best for any young person not to start engaging in private messaging.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of fab folk out there in the big wide world and on the internet, genuinely good people - just, I think you'd be putting yourself in a vulnerable position if you started engaging with people you don't know on a personal level privately. It really isn't a very good idea. You only need to get to talking with one wrong person and all of sudden things can get pretty nasty.

This is a great forum and you can get a lot of advice here and can ask as many questions as you like - a majority of us are a fair bit <coughs> older than you but you've got you're own great personality - just go with that in the public domain and folk will respond if they wish to. You said earlier on that you wished for people to like you - I think that makes you vulnerable as you are more likely to give out information about yourself. If you do that accidentally on a public thread - the mods can edit information if they think that it could be harmful/unsafe - however, this is where you do have to take responsibility for being on the internet, as C-Jane said, and the mods aren't able to act as child protection officers (nor should they be) and shouldn't be having to delete things on request that have been written by accident. Our "hamsters" are here to monitor spam and stuff - not to correct our mistakes.

Sheesh, I realise I sound a right old fuddy-duddy, which is coco - but working in school I know how trusting young folk can be - it's all to easy to let info out that you shouldn't. Stay in the open GracieGirl - no need to use PM's methinks.