Difficult 9 year old

I would take him to a child behaviorist, for sure. Your passivity is going to ruin his life.

WHEN is he showing this kind of behavior. In the middle of the argument - or does he just go off on you for no reason?

Age 10 is the new 15, so you are really dealing with a 13-14 year old boy, who tend to challenge women anyway and who needs a male to mentor and guide him. Is there a male around him at all?

Learn to diffuse this behavior. That means YOU must learn some better parenting skills.

BUT - if this this boy is violent in other settings (school, towards animals, with his peers) then you need to bring in much stronger professional help.

i was wondering why u dont find somebody, like a babysitter or an au pair to take care of ur baby_

Call the police.

As an educator who has dealt with thousands of tough boys in tough areas, I can tell you what you describe is very very serious.
If he does not have a biological inbalance (which I suspect not), it is all on you.
Sorry to be so direct. But when we dealt with our worst boys in school, the first thing I would say to my peers is NO DAD at home. It was always the case. The problem is YOU set the pattern for years. When he was 3 the pattern is starting to be learned and it is a like a bridge, you build one piece at a time.
Enough of WHY the problem is occurring, but hopefully real strategies>
1. you need to realize if you love him you must make HIM unhappy, or not worry that you are creating unhappiness. This is probably the number one issue HERE. If you knew your 3 year old child was going to walk into the street and get hit by a car (because he did not believe your verbal warning), would you hit his butt AND get the message across to protect his life. HE would be very unhappy afterwards. Can you live with his unhappiness. That is the issue.
2. your punishment needs to be more severe and you NEED to tell yourself you are teaching him boundaries and THAT is LOVE
3. I suspect your kid has everything he wants as well, playstation, etc
4. take everything away, and give him manageable goals to get them back. The minute HE loses it WITHOUT words, he loses it all for a day, and it continues every additional time he loses it
5. reward him WITH words when he uses words successfully
6. find TOUGH male teachers
7. maybe expend that energy through sports
8. find male role models
9. look into a more academy like school, discipline based. If he does not get it from you HE needs it somewhere
10. both YOU and HIM should be in full time counseling (if you can afford)
11. if he does not go, then just take ALL of his stuff away that he enjoys (tv, computer, phone)

Your kid is heading to be a criminal WITH no limits. Keep telling yourself WHAT is better the pain of not having a phone, or the pain of a few years in jail. That is a no brainer, and I suspect the issue is, YOU cannot live with your PAIN of him not having a phone.

It is your choice.

Try Big Brothers.

Talk to the school counsellor or principal.

Call some resources in your government.

We can't really help you.

You both need intervention.

I don 't have much advice, except calling the police,
but I 'm sure glad that I have no children.

I am therefore immune to the problems that u indicated.





David

Violent children are dangerous to the peoples around them as they are emotionally unstable and lash out in violent, and sometimes unpredictable, ways. By analyzing certain factors and learning methods, you can manage to survive the tough times.
1. Write down specific times and days that your child becomes aggressive.
2.Identify triggers such as if he is hungry, feeling sleepiness or have school stress.
3.Don't give much attention to the child as they show aggressiveness to seek the attention of people around them.
4.Support your child by planing activity that interest your child.
5. Speak to a therapist who is particularly trained to handle violent and aggressive children