I guess if the wife had the balls to tell me the **** you said in red - I'd explain that it is my business when her husband asks his questions online; that her refusal to touch his penis is likely going to ruin her marriage; that she can call me a slut if she likes, but her anger with me is likely some misdirected emotion derived from her own deep sexual problems; the sexual encounter weekend idea was for her husband, who is so miserable stuck in a weird sexual relationship with her that he asked strangers' advice; and that she does indeed need to talk to a professional about her problems being intimate with her husband.
the things I said in red were not ****.
She, from the information given, came into the marriage as she is now.
He's the one that thought she'd change. Don't know why he thought that. Did he ask her if she thought she'd get more comfortable? Did he just assume?
Whose fault is it the husband is miserable? He's the one who went into marriage thinking things would be different once the ring was on the finger.
Perhaps she's miserable as well. She married thinking the man was satisfied with her, only to find out he wants her to change from the person she is.
It has been repeated to women (and men) over and over again, that if one person forces the other person to do something sexual, that they have been clear in stating they don't want to do it, that's rape, or sexual assault, abusive, regardless of whether you're married to the person or not.
It's been said on this forum, for one place, that if a man has his pants down with a huge hard on, having been aroused by the woman intentionally, that if he has his dick one millemeter from her vagina, and she says "no" he must stop, or else be guilty of rape.
But, a woman who has made her distate for certain things, clearly and repeatedly, here is told she is uptight, has sexual problems, needs a therapist, needs an encounter weekend, etc.
I can't assume she has problems being intimate with her husband. Perhaps she enjoys making love to him very much. Or at least she enjoys it when not being asked to do things she doesn't want to do, and has repeatedly said she doesn't want, or like.
What is supposed to be the purpose of the therapy/encounter? To get her to want or like something? To learn that her body is not her own, but rather a tool to be used to satisfy someone else?
I've been married a long time. Both of us have things we don't enjoy, even though it's something the other does.
Out of respect and love, we don't ask each other to do these things. Oh sure, over the years, one or the other of us has said to ourselves "I'll do this because it pleases the other." But because of the open communication and acceptance of our differences, we accepted, nay welcomed, that it's not making love if both of us aren't enjoying everything.
So, I don't ask him to do this, which I find quite sexy, and he doesn't ask me to do that, which he likes.
There's no scoreboard on the wall where I say "hey, you don't want to do 6 things, and I don't want to do only 2 things. You need therapy so you can get your number down to 2, because you're uptight."
IMO sex ruins a lot less marriages than money matters, addictions to things like drugs, family interference, etc. etc.
I think this guy came on here to get approval from others to get a food job from a prostititute so he can feel ok about it.
As ehbeth said, that's something he needs to get his wife approval on, not ours.
If the wife had come on here and started a thread saying her husband wanted her to do things she has told him multiple times she didn't want to do, she'd have been told that was her right.