7
   

What should I do when I do not approved the school method in disciplining my Kid?

 
 
Ceili
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Apr, 2011 06:27 pm
@JTT,
I did get her a three day unpaid leave. I wrote the minister of education, in my grade 4 handwriting and told on her... She retired soon after.
gungasnake
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Apr, 2011 06:48 pm
@MommyAnt,
Don't sign anything.
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Apr, 2011 07:53 pm
@Ceili,
Bright and spunky. Good on ya mate! That was smarter and more productive than decking her.

0 Replies
 
MommyAnt
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Apr, 2011 01:11 am
@Linkat,
Yes, my son was sent to the clinic for tests (through recommendation by the school) and currently he see the specialist once a month.

Short of taking him out of Singapore School System and Home School him, there's nothing much I can do. The option is not really suitable for him as he is already not very sociable, Home Schooling will isolate him even more.

It appear I was in "dreamland" all this time, every School Principal in Singapore is authourized (it is legal) to mete out Corporal Punishment without having to inform the Parents in advance.
0 Replies
 
MommyAnt
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Apr, 2011 01:17 am
@Ceili,
Horric teacher.

The explainantion I get from the "Authority" is that by giving only the P the right to cane/ authorized the VP to do it... will limit incident like those u describe, teachers are not allow to " touch" the kid, only the P n the VP authorized by the P can use the cane.

As to why cannot inform Parent in advance, according to the same "Authority", it will undermine the P's Authority.

From my conversation w the P, he is a firm believer in Corporal Punishment, this do not bore well for my son.

Changing to another school is no guarantee that such incident will not happen again, as I mentioned in my reply to Linkat every School Principal in Singapore is authourized to use Corporal Punishment without having to inform the Parents in advance.

: (
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Apr, 2011 01:34 am
@gungasnake,
gungasnake wrote:

Don't sign anything.


I agree. They may be permitted to do this, but then why is it so important they need you to sign a statement that you have been informed and agree?
0 Replies
 
MommyAnt
 
  2  
Reply Fri 8 Apr, 2011 01:42 am
I have (this morning), as per advise by my friend (who a VP of another school), signed the document w protest, that is cancelling all the parts that is not true and putting lots of comments/remarks on wherever there's space.

Basically, I acknowledged that the school has caned my son for the offence but I was not inform in advance nor am I in agreement to the caning.

Really unless I consider migrating to another country where Coporal Punishment is not legal in school...
roger
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Apr, 2011 01:45 am
@MommyAnt,
True. I've got a feeling you are pretty much stuck with what you've got.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Apr, 2011 09:29 am
@roger,
Ditto, but sorry about the incident - does your child's doctor offer you the best way to handle this? And how best to talk with your child about it? The one positive is that your child is seeing some one to talk to that he could also work on with her/him.
MommyAnt
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Apr, 2011 10:13 pm
@Linkat,
Jus some background info.
When my son enter Primary 1, I inform the school that my son may have some emotion control problem and maybe we should sent him for some test (private test r expensive while those refer by school will be like 80% subsidized by the govt.) The school assure me that they will monitor him closely. So through his 1st n 2nd year, I was constantly called to school for various mis-conduct and of course I constantly ask if we should sent him for test. But the school feel that he is jus being "NAUGHTY".
By the 3rd year (1st semster) they finally decide to sent my son for relevant test and he was diagnosis as ADD in June 2010.

(I seriously considered to jus go with Private Testing, which my friends all advise against as the subsequent cost would have been very much higher, the follow-up visits etc will be at the private rate.)

The School was duly informed. For the rest of the 3rd year, my son still constantly get into trouble. We did not see any major improvement till the start of this year (his 4th year). The main reason I believe is due to the Special Need Teacher (who start working closely with my son) at the start of this year. The SNT is new, before that they only have a school consellor, which I think was not able to "handle" my son.

I have been in constant contact with my child form teacher and was told he is doing okay. You can imagine the shock when the same teacher out of the blue called to say "your son been caned by the VP".

I really cannot understand why they r unable to give me a call on Friday when the incident happen and I would have been able to talk to my son over the weekend and come to a solution/decision with the school on Monday...
As Roger put it "we are pretty much stuck with what we've got"

My son like the SNT, he look forward to seeing him everyday, so I think the SNT is making good progress with him. In the home ground, we been told to be more patient, loving, firm, stern and consistent but not harsh. It is a matter of "to seize the moment to instill the right idea/view into him when the chance appear". The SNT feel that my son has a very Opinioned view of the world around him and he is acting out accordingly.

I can only say between the session with the doctor, the "bonding" time with the SNT at school and my constant "nagging" at home, my son has mellow a lot in the past 4 months. His "anger" has reduce, he is currently in the "I must right all wrong/unfairness" mood.

I believe someone mentioned that this is going to be a long drawn "battle" and I can only hope/believe that "the rainbow and sun will come out after the rain".

Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Apr, 2011 09:15 am
@MommyAnt,
I'm sorry this has been so hard for you. It should be a bit easier - I always wonder when a teacher or school is unwilling to make some consessions to help a student. My guess is the teacher really does not have the knowledge needed to deal with this - which is unfortunate for you.

I do wish you both the best and fortunately at least some things are getting better.
0 Replies
 
colinfarrell
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 May, 2011 07:22 am
@JTT,
Singapore regulations give schools the right to cane (boys only). Some schools consult parents beforehand but not all, and there is no legal requirement for them to do so. There is however an obligation to inform them after the event. http://www.corpun.com/sgscr1.htm
Some schools specifically state that they will inform parents only after the caning., e.g. Dunearn Secondary:
http://www.dunearn.edu.sg/students/dunearn-rules-and-regulations
The general line in Singapore is that if you as a parent don't approve of caning you should send your son to one of the schools that do not use it (there are a few). Here are links to various school handbooks:
http://www.corpun.com/usscr2c.htm#singapore
0 Replies
 
ZGrace55
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Feb, 2014 10:12 pm
I strongly agree that you should not sign the documents pertaining to this matter under any circumstances. If you're under threat or being force to do so, I reckoned you seek legal advise. Base on this case that you had shared, I felt that it's unjust to call for caning or worst case scenario to cane your child before informing you of the incident. I don't know what is your child's age group but being an ADD case the school leaders should take into consideration the child's medical condition and also should inform the parent before making stern action such as caning immediately without understanding the before and after consequences of the course of action (caning) agreed by the principal. Moreover the school leaders didn't weigh the seriousness of the injury and the intention was not to cause grievous hurt. I felt very sorry for both you and your son for the "damage" done. If your child is doing his lower primary, he should be given proper coaching, understanding consequences, councilling etc. or whatever the counselor recommends. If the school take this matter so seriously, I think that girl should be facing disciplinary action as well for her misbehaviour to be fair to your child. I don't agree that the school being hush in punishing the boy by caning almost immediately without understanding the root cause of the incident which is more
important to avoid such reoccurrence.
I don't know why the school is so hush in making decision to cane your child even before informing you as compared to a case which happened to a lower primary when a boy was injured with a serious dislocated elbow and non of the school teachers, OM, or staffs who are matured adults call to inform the parent of the serious accident which happened within school compound and no one take the initiative to send the boy for medical consultation or call for an ambulance. This boy had to bare with the severe pain for hours and upon school dismissal, no teacher nor school staff escort the boy to where his parent is waiting, instead it was his classmate who carried his school bag and walk alongside with him to where the parent was waiting. Can you imagine the seriousness of this incident and yet the school don't face serious consequences with the ministry. Last but not least I want to close by saying that a person will not necessary repent just by the strokes he received but if it's by showing the Grace of God to that person, I believed he or she will automatically change because he or she understand Grace (Love). And because of love he or she will not want to harm anybody. Inflating bodily pain with cane is as bad as condemning a child. As for your case, your son is defenseless and hopeless at the moment in time and may have felt neglected by his parent which may turn out to be hatreds. I strongly encourage you to pursue this matter with the ministry and seek legal advise if need be to show your concern for your child and to seek redress for your helpless child when the caning took place. I'm sure my posting will help you in many ways and also to mend your broken heart and you can have a stronger bonding and relationship with your son since he had suffered quite a bid.

0 Replies
 
 

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