21
   

is sex on the first date a relationship killer?

 
 
dadpad
 
  2  
Reply Sun 13 Mar, 2011 09:57 pm
Quote:
if he finds out that u don 't capitalize the beginnings of your sentences.

She at least capitalised the beginning of relationship.
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Mar, 2011 05:10 pm
Been thinking about this (just). How about the opposite case - how many relationships endure because there was no sex on the first date?

I can just see that someone with a conservative quasi-straightlaced personality might think someone who would sleep with them on a first date is not worth considering for a long term relationship but the explicit hypocrisy in that thought means the other person should be grateful not to to see them again.

MontereyJack
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Mar, 2011 05:19 pm
I was going to reply a week ago, but lost the thread. Have you TALKED to him since your date? Have you told him that you had a really good time with him, and you hope you two can get together again soon? You haven't said, but it's important that you doYou don't have to dwell on the sex, you don't even have to mention it, just let him know that you like him, and talk like the two of you talked before his visit. If you don't talk to him, that'll kill the possibility of anything else right there.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Mar, 2011 11:01 am
@hingehead,
Quote:
Been thinking about this (just). How about the opposite case - how many relationships endure because there was no sex on the first date?


Good point.

I never in my life had not pursue a relationship because of first date sex, but I sure the hell had drop relationships because of lack of sex in a reasonable amount of time into the relationship.
0 Replies
 
Dosed
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 09:09 pm
@MontereyJack,
MontereyJack wrote:

I was going to reply a week ago, but lost the thread. Have you TALKED to him since your date? Have you told him that you had a really good time with him, and you hope you two can get together again soon? You haven't said, but it's important that you doYou don't have to dwell on the sex, you don't even have to mention it, just let him know that you like him, and talk like the two of you talked before his visit. If you don't talk to him, that'll kill the possibility of anything else right there.


Things are going really well! We've been talking a lot and he's coming back down next weekend, then I'm going up to see him the weekend after that.
Smile
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 09:48 pm
@hingehead,
I experienced that, in that at something like the fifth date we got into petting. You will all have to look that up, as it is a catholic term of the fifties, and for all I know, still. I had a fellow I was really getting to like do this with me in a rather romantic setting, then apologized, and later told me he fell out of love with me because things went too fast. This was all before the word 'bummer'.

A few years later, he came back from time as a marine all avid. I was cool for various reasons. We did end up lovers for a few years but .. as I said at some point on a2k, I once had a song run through my mind as I drove down Santa Monica Blvd.. "do what you want to do, go where you want to go", and said no, at the intersection of Santa Monica and Beverly Glen, to myself.
He was and probably still is a good person, not only bright and funny but one of the first really bright people I could engage with mentally.
Controlling can be a problem from men or women, and we never got to equal. but that was pretty much the times.
0 Replies
 
MontereyJack
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 10:06 pm
Dosed said:
Quote:

Things are going really well! We've been talking a lot and he's coming back down next weekend, then I'm going up to see him the weekend after that.


ALL RIGHT! Good on ya. I think we all wish you happiness.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 10:07 pm
@MontereyJack,
Me too.
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2011 09:24 pm
@Dosed,
Quote:
Things are going really well! We've been talking a lot and he's coming back down next weekend, then I'm going up to see him the weekend after that

Terrific! It sounds like you're finally going to experience sex in the context of a relationship. Smile
Hope it all works out well for you.
0 Replies
 
laughoutlood
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Mar, 2011 10:46 pm
@Dosed,
Enjoy the ride to the place you choose.
0 Replies
 
Motorhead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Apr, 2011 07:27 am
@Dosed,
Sex isn't always a winner on first dates mainly cuz you let the man get too far wereas you should stop at these ( . ) . ). that's why he dumps you cuz he's not atracted to you he's atracted to your body. Don't make that mistake cuz I used to think the same way but then I realized good things come slowly the same can be said for both sex and relationships
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Apr, 2011 08:03 am
@Motorhead,
Motorhead wrote:

Sex isn't always a winner on first dates mainly cuz you let the man get too far wereas you should stop at these ( . ) . ). that's why he dumps you cuz he's not atracted to you he's atracted to your body. Don't make that mistake cuz I used to think the same way but then I realized good things come slowly the same can be said for both sex and relationships


Quote:
then I realized good things come slowly

Uh huh.
You have 3 nipples. ( . ) . ). I think that makes you a witch.
I'm just being silly. Thanks for your input.

Welcome to A2k. Its nice to have a young persons perspective
0 Replies
 
MorganBieber
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Apr, 2011 07:49 pm
@Dosed,
Deffinately.
0 Replies
 
Dosed
 
  2  
Reply Tue 5 Apr, 2011 11:43 pm
@MontereyJack,
well...just to update you guys...

sex on this particular first date was not a relationship killer.

guess who got herself a boyfriend this past weekend? Razz Wink
firefly
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Apr, 2011 08:48 am
@Dosed,
I'm happy for you, Dosed. I hope things continue to go well for you.
0 Replies
 
StarBright
 
  0  
Reply Tue 26 Apr, 2011 11:43 pm
@Dosed,
The short answer is yeah....you've just based whatever relationship you might end up having with this person, on sex! Good, decent, solid relationships(marriage for example) are built on friendship, not sex. What kind of relationship are we talking about here.....long-term serious stuff, dating regularly or just occasional dating. I would say that, if you are at all considering having a long-term relationship with anyone, don't have sex for at least the first 6 months, 'cause that's when people generally take off the "mask". If you are going to be that intimate on the first date, it sounds to me like you aren't really searching for a decent relationship.
hawkeye10
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 12:05 am
@StarBright,
Quote:
g. I would say that, if you are at all considering having a long-term relationship with anyone, don't have sex for at least the first 6 months
Do guys actually tolerate that BS? 6 weeks perhaps, 6 months no way.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 03:51 am
@StarBright,
For myself there is no way Hawkeye and starbright in hell that I would be in a dating relationship with a woman for six months with zero sex.
hawkeye10
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 10:10 am
@BillRM,
BillRM wrote:

For myself there is no way Hawkeye and starbright in hell that I would be in a dating relationship with a woman for six months with zero sex.
When pressed these women will usually say something to the effect of "I should be worth the wait" so we know that they are conceited, but the real goal here is to test the guy early to see how easy he is to control. I think men have a duty to themselves and the rest of us men to throw these women back.
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 27 Apr, 2011 10:32 am
@hawkeye10,
Quote:
When pressed these women will usually say something to the effect of "I should be worth the wait" so we know that they are conceited, but the real goal here is to test the guy early to see how easy he is to control. I think men have a duty to themselves and the rest of us men to throw these women back.


I am an adult and wish the women in my life to be adults also and playing no sex games for 6 months is not acting in an adult manner.
 

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