Which staff member is responsible for emoticons?

sorry what was the question

Trapped in Emoticon Hell

Leigh Buchanan of Inc. magazine feels trapped in emoticon hell -- and she wants out, right now. She argues that emoticons -- smiley faces, frowny faces and the like -- have no place whatsoever in adult discourse.

Still, emoticons bug the hell out of me. I hate the way they reduce the gloriously complex geography of human faces to a few crude lines and dots. I also resent their imputations of insensitivity. "I assume you lack the emotional intelligence to infer my attitude from mere words," the little buggers seem to say, "so I will help you with a device comprehensible to two-year-olds." Finally, I shudder whenever I see them -- as I increasingly do -- used in business correspondence. What does it say about a company when employees pepper their e-mail with the sort of juvenile glyphs common in MySpace chats? "This is to inform you that we have not yet received the order expected last week. >:-O" "To the best of my knowledge, Mr. Fenderbender played no role in the backdating of options. 0:-)" If this nonsense is going on in your business, you should stamp it out pronto.

Her solution to the plague of emoticons is for writers to stop using them, and instead describe in words what the emoticon would normally convey. So, instead of putting a smiley face after a sentence, instead you would write:

Picture if you will a colon: one tiny, perfect dot poised above its brother. Now imagine that colon transformed into a pair of eyes, bright and sparkling with mischief. From between those dots extends a hyphen. Yet screw up your eyes and…do you see it? A nose! Yes, a nose! Patrician in its straightness it dips toward the generous curve of a closing parenthesis. That parenthesis is a mouth, corners up-tilted in mirth. Viewed in sum, these marks compose a face whose expression of gentle amusement suggests the good humor intended in the previous remark.

She then invites writers to come up with their own lengthy descriptions of various emoticons in order to draw attention to the ridiculousness of their use.

http://www.writerswrite.com/blog/412071

She sounds like a real bitch. I'm not huge into emoticons but she oughta lighten up a bit.

Cycloptichorn

@(0)@

Have a koala. It might just cheer you up

I think they have use, especially with people conversing from different languages as so much can be misapprehended there. I think at least some of us can be quite curt in our own languages and it is not meant to be some kind of visceral knifing - more like an amusing twist, at worst a friendly taunt.

This happens in a wide ranging place like a2k, and people can mistake how to take it.

I avoid emoticons, but not entirely entirely.

Since we are forbidden to answer with emoticons you can't see my heartbreaking because of this thread! ((sob))

Isn't that a balding Jewish man with yamulke kowtowing to the thread reader?

AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THESE LETTERS BROKEN UP INTO CLUSTERS OF VARIOUS LENGTHS?

They are letter pellets, soon to be sent to post offices. Not that post offices don't have enough aggravation already.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR LETTER CLUSTERS ARE SUPPOSED TO MEAN.

I'M GOING TO CONTACT A MODERATOR TO TELL THEM YOU'RE SENDING ME LETTER CLUSTERS OF VARYING LENGTHS.

WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME SO?

<sob>

Because Jespah doesn't tell me not to.

( * )

AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

I'm telling on you.

COULD YOU TONE IT DOWN A TAD?

Then I shall again present to you my private parts.


( o ) ( o )

well, at least they're level.

Oh. Okay. Sorry.

I haven't been around much lately then I saw the site was down for a bit and then I thought this must be the new way of doing things since everywhere I looked there was someone yelling things that didn't make a lot of sense.

We now resume our regularly scheduled boomerang posts.

They are, actually. Lefty used to be lower, but sadly both Lefty and Righty are both lower now.