The "My! That sounds dirty" game

At first she regarded it. When satisfied she knew every crevice, her mouth began to water at the pleasure she would soon experience. She ran a delicate finger along the creamy texture, then let her tongue flick across the outstreched digit.
She recoiled and spat out the offending taste all over his silk sheets, she coughed and gagged.
"Uugh, what the hell was that?"
"I call it 'Luscious Ice" he stammered.
"Can I have a glass of water," she croaked, "a horrible after taste too..." she muttered, looking like a cat trying to spit up a hair ball, emitting strange gutteral sounds as she overcame the sudden onset of drymouth, she tried to spit again.
He handed her the water and said, in a strangled voice. "You know the taste will grow on you."
"You said, it was icecream!!!!"
"Well to be perfectly honest.........It's a low carbohydrate, high protein substitute I've been working on. You know the atkin's craze, and all."
She picked up the offending goop and threw it, "I wonder if it'll leave a stain."


Edited to add a word, cause I forgot again..........
felt

As Ceili turned to walk away she felt the digit poking her in the backside. She whirled around and screamed, "Get that friggin' luscious ice out of my sight, you bastard. I'm through with it! I tried it... I didn't like it, and now I'm off looking for something just a bit more palatable."

The mysterious man with the hovering digit looked crestfallen. "But...but...my luscious ice. What should I do with it now?"

"Put it in a sock" said Ceili, as she calmly walked out and slammed the door behind her.

tongue-tied

A funny but true tongue-tied story, ok maybe it's only funny to me, but......

Shortly after my son was born it was apparent he needed to have surgery on his neck. Nothing too serious, but it had to be done so we waited till he was about 10 months. The doctor told me the boy was tongue-tied and he would fix that too. I said, how do you know he's tongue-tied? He can't talk yet???
I had no idea it was a physical condition, I thought it was just being at a loss for words.


continue....

OK, that threw a wrench in the whole chain.........

It was hot. His fan was kaput. He should have shelled out a fin and bought the new one Eddie was trying to unload. But he'd spent his last dime at the track and was flat.
He watched her silouette as she approached the doorway. He could tell from this side of the etched glass that this broad would be a humdinger. She was all curves.
She opened the door, he slowly scanned the buxom beauty's body, from tip to toe. She was a knock-out alright. She stood in the doorway, adjusted her hat, produced a thin tube of lipstick and reapplied the fire engine rouge to her luscious lips. She tapped the door shut with her foot, and strut across the floor in heels a masocist inspired. The expensive wool suit, tailored to mirror every curve, clung to her skin. She had the kind of body that would make a bad man go good, and a good man turn bad. I had a feeling this would be my lucky day! She had bad intentions written all over her.
She approached my desk, I slowly slid my feet off the top and found my mouth hanging agog. I snapped it shut and stood to greet her.
She gracefully extended her gloved hand.
"Welcome to my Dick.....Uh, I mean my private dick, we investigate your privates, ah no ah.......That is to say, Good evening miss, Welcome to Private Dick's, the Investigation Company, how can I help you?"
Her devilish eyebrow was raised in amusement, and her hand was still in my sweaty mitts, I waited...........
"Hewwo, I geth we arr bowf a widdow ton-tide."
And then she began to laugh and laugh.



peanuts

True story.

A friend of mine used to take showers with her daughter when she was very little. One day when Emily was in kindergarten, she asked her mother a *Very Important Question* during their shower. "D'you know what's the difference between girls and boys?" she asked. Her mother panicked. Oh no, what had she been doing at school? Looking down at her daughter standing there in all her naked innocence, she slowly said, "I'm not sure, Emily. What IS the difference?"
Emily smiled and said, "Boys have peanuts."


artichokes

He'd been thinking about peeling her ever since he picked her up in the produce aisle. Now here she was, on the little bed of green, fresh from her steam and glistening. He began tugging at the edge of her coverings, there was some resistance, then he had the first piece, and then another and still another. Grasping with his fingers and teeth he sucked gently at her essences. Ahhh, he sighed.
Standing at the stove, Merlene watched Joe gazing at his plate. 'Damn,/ she said, ' I wish he'd eat everything like he eats that artichoke.'

Ball Peen

Melissa pouted somewhat impishly, if that's possible. "Oh my...I need a good nailing, or is it a hammering? This sheet metal just isn't speaking to me artistically, and I took that sculpting class at the Learning Annex and everything..."

Chad burst in, with a full-on 'smoldering and masculine' look on his face. "What you really need babe is a ball peen. If you don't have one..." he paused dramatically, "you can borrow mine."

"Could I? Could I really? I'll bet it's even more inspiring than those Herbal Essences shampoos I love so much..."

Shampoo

Ceili kept looking over her shoulder at him as he pumped away. There was the constant rhythm, a thrum-thrum-thrum-thrum, steady as piston,
the last thrust equal or better than the last. She studied his face, the tension showed but there was a sense of peace there too, a sureness of purpose and direction as he neared his destination, the peak.

She turned away for a moment and concentrated on her own feelings. There was a swell of emotion in her as she realized how close they were coming. She floated in her mind on a flood of scent and shampoo and delight as they arrived.

"There you are Miss," said the pedi-cab man catching his breath, "all the way to the top without a stop. Isn't the view magnificent?"

Ceili stared for a moment at the mountains then stood back and looked at the pedi-cab man, dripping wet, his hair on end, the muscles in his thighs still pulsing from his exertions.

"Yes, Bapoo," she said, " I'd say magnificent.''


prognosticate

It was a dull, boring day with no babes in sight. So, sigh, he just say over in the corner and prognosticated............

penetralia

She hadn't seen penetralia since her last trip to Costa Rica. Her memories of the place were peppered with them languishing in doorways and hanging out windows. Her cabana boy had turned her on to the lewdly coloured beauties. She could smell their pungent aroma now, again happily. She was so happy Pedro had found her a local distributer. These blooms would be the envy of the garden club.




troubadour

There she was, a desparately lonely girl trapped too long in a strange town. As she perused the help help wanted ads, something in the personals caught her eye. It was something she had never considered before, but you can only go without for so long... So, knowing he could be had for a song, she called the troubadour and asked him to name his price.

Cloche

My girlfriend asked me what my new cloche was for, I told her he it makes things grow bigger, so she lies under it when she's sunbathing and she's bought another one for me!

crepuscular

This is a thread that needs to be revived....any takers?

"If you do not give it back, I shall take it from you," said little 1st grader Suzy to her classmate Max, who had stolen her ripe cherry that mommy had given for her for being a very good girl.

Good. Ceili is bored.

What's the next key word?

jeepers, this is a good thang. i hate being bored.

Okay, so is anyone going to put a word out there? Okay, I guess I'll do it.

Fritters

With a sly smile on his face, he playfully pulled back the large dinner napkin, to reveal his warm golden orbs. Her mouth watering, she gladly obliged him by popping in one, then another. Ooh! His corn fritters were the best!


Sobriquet

Thank god for Kristen..

She watched the muscular workman who was building her wall sweat, and thought "Sobriquet."

Honeysuckle