Facing death.

@laughoutlood,

I have little to say, because I just don't know. I recall meeting you in Salem. Do you remember? It was, by now, a good 10 years ago. I saw you, so funny and stylish. And the adjective I had for you was merry.

Be strong, merry gal. Those of us who pray, and those of us who posi-vibe, are doin' it.

0 Replies

@Diane,

You certainly come through as the same person in your written words. You have a distinctive voice -- calm, smooth, leavened with humor -- that seems unchanged, to me.

I know you're not asking for advice, but I seem to keep coming back to this part:

Diane wrote:

He also said that I refused to see my therapist or go to the hospital.

Do you wish, in retrospect, that you had gone to the therapist or to the hospital earlier? If so, can you make any sort of arrangements to deal with this sort of thing in the future?

So hard, for everyone.

Very big and very gentle hugs to you.

1 Reply

@Diane,

Im not going to provide you any comfort here because you need to take what is a chronic condition, aggressively treat it, and live a life that is full of long term commitments.
I was always wondering why you sort of disappeared a few years ago.
The condition you describe is not a death warrant, its a wake up call. Obviously your body chemistry, your lifestyle, diet, and the good old chemical pharma industry need to get into synch and get that HDL /LDL ratio up and the total number down. I assume that youve begun statins and vitamin C and diet control.

YOU MUST not yield to some percieved inevitability.You havent reached any "Sell by" date.

I will now relinquish my momentary rant to the shiva in progress.

GRRR

2 Replies

Good MORALE is very important to success.

0 Replies

My niece, The Bratty Nutritionist, says the hardest part of her job is convincing people that the doctor ordered diet is medicine for their bodies. She tries to get them to think of it as adding new things to their life instead of taking old things away.

Accept the challenge of getting things back in order. You can do it.

I'm sending Xs and Os in a southeasterly direction.

0 Replies

Diane.. my dear.. I love you Smile

a change in diet would fix the cholesterol.
fruits, veggies, nuts LOTS of nuts, rice, oats.. yeah. Its fixable and easily.

but not giving advice. Just reading along.. feeling odd..

0 Replies

@Diane,

We all want you to take care of yourself as best as you can, Diane. We are all thinking of you and Dys.

0 Replies

@Diane,

Diane wrote:

My last cholesterol test showed a level of 962.

EGADS!

Diane wrote:

I’ll be going in for a stress test next week after a preliminary appointment with a cardiologist.

Good! Glad to hear it.

Diane wrote:

Two years ago, 2009, I went for five months in a state of incoherence, lack of equilibrium and a need for sleep near twenty four hours a day. There would be times when I would try to get up only to feel the need to go back to bed, while wondering if I could make it that far. Whenever I tried to eat or take my meds, I would throw up.

When I finally started coming out of it, I said to Dys that it felt like I had been out of it for about two weeks. When he told me that it had been five months, it seemed beyond my comprehension, I truly didn’t know where the time had gone. Dys said I was mostly in a coma-like state. He also said that I refused to see my therapist or go to the hospital.

Hugs to you both. He was very worried about you during that time.

Diane wrote:

During the past two years I have improved in many ways, the involuntary movements have gone, my speech is much better,---but I have never felt like the same person. When I go out or contact friends, I concentrate on sounding normal and , most of the time, I succeeded (except when I start to drool--just kidding).

During the last two months, I have had a series of neuro-psychological tests. The doctor, PhD, administering the test estimated that my IQ used to be in the mid 130’s, but due to, mainly the cholesterol, but also damage done from what she is sure was a stroke, my IQ is down around 98 to 100 with some strong areas and some noticeable deficits.

It's all part of the stroke recovery process - a process that can continue to bring improvement, particularly if you get your cholesterol under control.

Diane wrote:

The doctor administering the test and my medical doctor, say that I am likely to die before Dys if I don't get the cholesterol under control.

What is left of me is sort of lost. Neither Dys nor I are in good shape, just the opposite.

I really don’t know what to do, other than attempt to better the cholesterol

Perfect!

Diane wrote:

Suggestions really won't be very helpful since we are unique human beings and our situation is unique. Not saying that we are "more special" than anyone else, just that it is impossible to answer evey question.

This is simply airing my worries. I usually don't do this, as I feel very uncomfortable, but this is truly life and death.

I see this on par with the episode last year where your blood pressure went through the roof. It was over 200, if I remember right. Getting that under control was a critically urgent need, as is getting your cholesterol under control. The stress test may show that you need surgery and it may show that your cholesterol is freely circulating causing the disorientation and other symptoms, but not collecting/clogging your arteries. As easy as it is to say (and oh-so-hard to do) that you shouldn't stress too much about next steps, that's the best advice I can give.

In the meantime, if (((you))) and (((dys))) haven't established medical power of attorney designees you should do so quickly.

Thoughts and prayers to you both.

0 Replies

@farmerman,

I dealt with a serious BP problem and it was all "essential" which meant that they could never give a reason for it. I was taking more pills than a crackhead and nothing worked. About 5 years ago I started AT fib and I went to Lankanau for a major study of my circ system. I was found to have resident clots all over and I was a living timebomb. My doctors first got me below a panick level and took me OFF all meds and monitored me carefully fpor 2 weeks (I went through lots opf different testing and brain and circ scans, special isotope testing and lots pof stuff which cost major bucks.)

What happened was that my medical cocktail has been halved and I take pills twice a day with the doses cut in half. MY BP is 121 /70 now and my choleteral came down from q425 to a nice 128 with about a 2 to i HD/LD level. I take a blood thinner just as a precaution but Im back doin my normal exercises and hiking and physical activity. I noted a mamjor peak in my curiosity level. I dont think Im any smarter, just less forgetful as the meds are in play.
This can be you with little sqeat, so you must become an active partner in demanding that the physician mechanics work hard on your case. This is only a chronic condition.

0 Replies

Sending you my best wishes for a happier day soon

endy

0 Replies

@Diane,

So... what's being done to treat the cholesterol level?

And from watching a number of people with chronic health conditions, I'd say one big problem to overcome is despair and/or depression. Nearly everything that comes with a health issue is a contributing factor.... chronic pain, loss of social support, changes in brain chemistry, etc....

We like you, here, and we need you to redeem Dys from being a complete curmudgeon, so please stick around.

0 Replies

@Diane,

I loved you then---love you now.

BBB

0 Replies

@Diane,

Diane,

Were you taking medications to lower your cholesterol when you had the 962 test result? Are you taking them now?

Worried.

0 Replies

Sending good wishes your way.

Farmerman is right - nothing is inevitable. My pop had a bad bout of cancer and was told by 1 doc that he had a 5% survival chance and by two others that his chances were closer to Zero than 5%. He went ahead with the surgery anyway.

That was 14 years ago now and there is no longer any sign of it in his body.

Don't give up hope!

Cycloptichorn

1 Reply

I find it admirable to accept the inevitable with grace.

This ain't inevitable, Diane! You've got doctors to see and treatments to try. Please, please don't be so accepting. You gotta gear yourself up for what's coming. Please start gearing.

I'm trying very hard not to sound angry, but I am angry. Don't make me come out to that airless place you reside and bop you over the head with a pig bladder. There's no grace in that for either of us. Of course I don't give a damn about that.

Sigh.

2 Replies

@Roberta,

There. That's exactly what I wanted to say. Trust Roberta to find just the words.

0 Replies

Miss Diane, you already know how I feel about you. I truly wish I had words of wisdom to give you but I do not. Please know that you made a difference in my life. I am sure you made a difference in a lot of lives.

May grace and peace be with you and with Dys always.

0 Replies

@Roberta,

well, now lets see some action .

0 Replies

I'm trying to think of what you need and want relative to your deep personal sharing. Putting myself in your place, I'd want some love, understanding and empathetic or instructional dialogue from anyone who's been in my shoes.

You are loved and respected here - as so many people have shown. I know that it is scary as hell to have a doctor tell you you have to make a major change and maintain it, or you aren't long for this world. You suddenly feel completely isolated from everything that is going on in this never-stopping world. It keeps spinning, but you feel like someone screeched on your brakes...and suddenly you are an unwilling spectator, rather than a player.

I know that we have cancer suvivors here, and people like Farmer, who have looked death in the face - and decided to fight.

In a much less frightening personal moment, a doctor told me that if I didn't lower my BP and cholersteral numbers, I was headed for a stroke. (They weren't as bad as yours.) I had a few scared days, and then got pissed and told myself out loud, "I am not going out like this." I changed what I ate and started exercising as a new lifestyle. The numbers came down. While your type of cholesterol problem may be more complicated than what I was dealt - there ARE things you can do.

Be afraid. Be sad. Be angry.

Then, decide to fight.

I think one tool in your fight is a legal document authorizing Dys to make good decisions for you when you are incapable of making them yourself.

Use nutrition like a battle ax. Demand responsive doctors. Keep going until you find one.

This is your life. Don't abdicate it without the full on battle that only our molotov cocktail hurling nun gone wrong can wage.

Call on us for support, compassion, more war metaphors, stories of triumph, diet tips, and any and everything you might need and we might supply.

Love you. Respect you. Believing in you.

0 Replies

@Diane,

Diane wrote:

....When I finally started coming out of it, I said to Dys that it felt like I had been out of it for about two weeks. When he told me that it had been five months, it seemed beyond my comprehension....Dys said I was mostly in a coma-like state. He also said that I refused to ... go to the hospital.....

Death obviously came for you once already and was chased away by true love; nobody knows what might have happened if you had gone to that hospital, but most likely with these cholesterol numbers you would have been classified as a write-off. All the medical / legal ideas you got here are excellent; there's also a Little-K thread on cholesterol with lots of scientific info mostly posted by Thomas - hope someone will look for it, as am on a slow connection right now and won't be back online for a while.

Most importantly: you can't just think of yourself! Please think of us too and stick around - Dys will become completely insufferable if you go Smile

0 Replies

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know