@Linkat,
Quote:Well I got that. And was going to respond - this article isn't stating that this girl (or others like her) are not going to succeed (and succeeding can be very subjective any way) - but that they will have difficulty getting roles in leadership and will handicap them for these sorts of positions.
I am paraphrasing here a response that I read someplace weeks back to that point: we need very few leaders, what we mostly need are doers who can make the instruments of our technical society work, so saying that so and so will never likely make an idea leader because they are such a good doer is not only not a deal breaker, but it could be taken as a compliment. Are people who want to be leaders better than those who dont? Isn't this just another form of the age old Western bias that extroverts are better then introverts? And the Bias that since Westerners tend to place a higher value on extroverts and Eastern peoples a higher value on introverts that we in the west are better people than those of the East?
I think so, I think that you are flaunting your provincial preferences, nothing more.
@hawkeye10,
Actually - I believe I said within my quote which you are referencing - that success is very subjective.
We were simply pointing out the fact that a doer will not typically progress into the executive positions. Not that one is better than the other - but they will hit a ceiling - whatever you want to call that ceiling.
And you are making assumptions that a leader needs to be an extrovert - not true.
@Linkat,
Quote:And you are making assumptions that a leader needs to be an extrovert - not true.
In a place were introverts are valued, say in the East, introverts can be good leaders, but can they be in a society which is biased towards extroverts? I see lots of strong quiet types who are good leaders in America , but they often have monster ego's , so I dont know that we can call them introverts. Those who lead by example are not necessarily introverts as leading by showing is a demonstrative act, which I think is a trademark of an extroverted person.
@hawkeye10,
Being quiet or not being quiet actually has nothing to do with being introvert. Introverts simply enjoy thinking, and exploring their thoughts - many introverts have very good social skills - the big difference is they need time to be alonoe to "recharge". They are introspective - their conversations tend to be around ideas and concepts and not trivial small talk.
It doesn't have anything to do with being a doer vs being a leader - it has to do with thinking internally.
@hawkeye10,
Quote:And I am saying that this is wrong, because of the rise of China as the sole global superpower. The Chinese will expect and will get the people they want running the American Corporate Class. Americans who have been raised by tiger moms will be the prefect fit, as they are American enough to deal with the Americans and still Chinese enough to deal with the Chinese. They will also be American citizens, which makes using them a better idea than is importing Americanized Chinese to run these corporations.
Americans if it were left up to us might have never picked tiger sons and daughters to be in these powerful positions, but increasingly what we do is no longer up to us, those who are is massive debt to others soon find that they no longer pick the music that gets danced to.
The article points out that to be a leader you have to have followers.
But perhaps this explains the culture of compliance that dominates education these days. We're preparing students for their future Chinese overlords.
I'm with Linkat. I don't think what this writer is discussing has anything to do with introversion or extroversion. It has to do with mindlessly "doing".
@boomerang,
She is just a bitch. Most Chinese mothers are not like her.
@talk72000,
talk72000 wrote:
She is just a bitch. Most Chinese mothers are not like her.
I am going to go with the kid here
Quote:Will you raise your children the same way? What will you change in your parenting style?
I’m dreading having kids. I can already hear my teenaged children saying, "There you go again, trying to be your mother. Seriously, go find a therapist."
There are definitely aspects of my upbringing that I'd like to replicate. I’m never going to be a professional pianist, but the piano has given me confidence that totally shapes my life. I feel that if I work hard enough, I can do anything. I know I can focus on a given task for hours at a time. And on horrible days when I’m lost and a mess, I can say to myself, "I’m good at something that I really, really love." I want my kids to have that confidence – confidence rooted in something concrete, not just "aww everyone’s a winner!!!" confidence, because in your heart you never believe that.
What would I do differently? Well, I agree that nothing’s fun until you’re good at it. Just because your 10-year-old doesn’t love running sprints isn’t an excuse to let him quit the team. (You think the other kids love running sprints? Nobody likes running sprints.) But fast-forward a couple years. If he gives it 110%, he’s state champion, and it still doesn’t bring him happiness. . .it’s time to stop. Ultimately, you need to love what you do.
Quote:Now, I know I’m going to take a lot of heat for this post, because obviously only creeps and sickos like BOTH their parents. But since a lot of you have asked about my mysterious dad – yes, I read every comment! – I’m going to take a crack at describing him.
I trust my father more than anyone else in the world. He inspires me and believes in me. He is fair, brutally honest, and brilliantly rational (even when the rest of us are freaking out about something). I want to be like him.
It would have been so easy for my dad to "score points" with me and Lulu by undermining my mom – but he never did. Looking back, I have huge respect for that. He may not identify as a tiger parent, but I know he wanted to raise us with what he thought of as traditional American values. My dad always demanded morality.
I’m way more scared of my dad than of my tiger mom, but my dad and I are also really good friends. We’re similar in many ways (people say I’m exactly half my mom, half my dad in personality): we love puzzles, take any challenge, and categorically need to do things our own way. We hate asking for help and are horrible at taking constructive criticism. We’re perfectionists who want to win at everything, even if we’re in no way qualified to do so.
My dad is unshakable, a perfect judge of character. He thinks like a chess player and rarely makes mistakes. Sadly, I didn’t inherit all those traits. So whenever I end up in an ugly situation ("Daddy, they’re trolling my blog online!" "Daddy, no one will take me to Prom because I’m going to Science Olympiad!" "Daddy, my omelet’s on fire. And do you smell a gas leak?"), I turn to him to save me.
Another difference between us is that my dad is actually good at everything. He runs the table at pool, always cleans up at poker, fought the mafia way back when, and his books don’t do too badly either. (One exception: my boyfriend killed him at ping-pong. Then he killed my boyfriend. Just kidding.) He tends to question the system, so he takes matters into his own hands. My dad wrote the Haggadah we use for Passover, and he formulated the only convincing interpretation I’ve ever heard of Hamlet’s "To be, or not to be" soliloquy.
It’s also my dad’s fault that I’m not girly. He read little-me books like Treasure Island and The Lord of the Rings, and since then I’ve preferred Balrogs to Barbies. He taught me how to throw a baseball (not that well, but I excel at watching the Yankees do it), jump-start and drive a car (stick shift’s still a work in progress), pan-fry a steak (rare as you can legally serve it, please).
When I think of my dad, I think of knowing the difference between right and wrong. I think of self-motivation, self-sufficiency, self-assurance.
I know he likes to stay out of all this tiger stuff, but I’m putting this out there anyway.
Thanks, Daddy. Love, your tiger cub
http://tigersophia.blogspot.com/
She does not seem too traumatized to me....
Tiger Mom's Long-Distance Cub
Amy Chua on how she has handled her daughter's departing the den for college. Drilling and discipline from afar? No, not even a growl
Quote:A lot of people have asked me whether I still "tiger mom" my older daughter, Sophia, now that she's in college. Do I block sleepovers from afar, drill her on schoolwork remotely, monitor piano practice by Skype and make sure that she never watches TV or plays computer games?
Actually, it's just the opposite. My husband and I are probably the most hands-off college parents we know. We never ask Sophia what she's going to major in or what she does at night, and we accidentally forgot about parents' weekend. When we got a few stressed text messages from her about finals, we told her to relax, do what she always does, and she'd be fine. And she was.
Video: More on Tiger Mom
Here's the key to tiger parenting, which a lot of people miss: It's really only about very early child-rearing, and it's most effective when your kids are between the ages of, say, 5 and 12. When practiced correctly, tiger parenting can produce kids who are more daring and self-reliant, not less.
Tiger parenting is often confused with helicopter parenting, but they could not be more different. In fact, the former eliminates the need for the latter. At its core, tiger parenting—which, if you think about it, is not that different from the traditional parenting of America's founders and pioneers—assumes strength, not weakness, in children. By contrast, helicopter parenting—which, as far as I can tell, has no historical roots and is just bad—is about parents, typically mothers, hovering over their kids and protecting them, carrying their sports bags for them and bailing them out, possibly for their whole lives.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204791104577110870328419222.html?mod=WSJ_hp_MIDDLETopStories
My parenting style is based upon this same theory, only I give my kids as much freedom as they can handle early without likely getting seriously hurt. I want them to get knocked down and scraped up some...IE want to get them used to overcoming adversity, and I want them to decide for themselves who they are and what they want.
@Linkat,
Being chinese,I think this just because in china there are very few opportunity,but two many people.So when we were child,our parent want us to be excellent,will not lost the opportunity in the future.
@sozobe,
yes,i agree with you .I think this relate to our education.when we are at school,our teacher only teach us according to the book.when come to test,we can only answer the test according to the book,if we do the answer by ourselves,it will be wrong.By the way ,i'm chineses
i think our education system should be changed
@Linkat,
you are quite right,most parents in our country brag about their kids.When come to a hobby.Most time,their kids don't want to learn.But their parents force them to learn it.Only because when other parents ask about their kids.They will have" face" if theirs kid play many kinds of musical instruments or other game,like chess,Go ects.
I'm Japanese American, and we have Chinese in our family. I don't see what you see about the Chinese culture. My best friend was born in Shanghai, and educated in Tibet and India. His family was well to do, because his father was the President of the Bank of China. During the Cultural Revolution, their family escaped to Hong Kong. When he was ready to attend college, his father gave him $10,000 to come to the US for his college education. After he arrived in San Francisco, he lived high on the hog, and spent all that money, but he worked himself through college in Michigan. I met him in Chicago, because he was moonlighting at a night club that my buddy's parents owned. He was also working for Kemper Insurance during the day. He was hired at a new company that had the first computers, and he changed his job to learn computer programming. This was in the late 1950s. He and I became fast friends, and when I moved back to California
to be with family and friends, he moved to San Diego to work for General Dynamics. When I got married in San Francisco, he flew up for our wedding. My wife and I found an apartment in Oakland. He eventually got a job working for Lockheed Martin in Mountain View, and he came over to our home every weekend. To make a very long story short, we eventually moved to Sunnyvale, and he found a wife, and moved to Cupertino. He had a son and two daughters. He also taught programming at the local community college. Our families spent many weekends and holidays together. Their children were treated no differently than other families. Two of their children became programmers, and the youngest works in the doctor's office. The problem with my friend was that he suffered from diabetes, but loved to eat. That eventually killed him. They moved to Lincoln after his death. It's the only time in my life that I have given an eulogy, and that will be my last.
Because they were wealthy in China, he had a personal caretaker. He was never spoiled. I lost my best friend, and think about him often.
