Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

You see, growing up in a home like Chua's was no piece of cake, and although I'm close to 40 now, I still bear wounds that haven't healed.

I believe that Chua's abusive parenting is motivated by her own unhappiness. How do I know this? My father told me so. He's the man whose tiger-infused parenting produced the catch phrase that became the title of my memoir, I Love Yous Are for White People.

The only difference between Chua's and my father's parenting technique is that Chua never laid a hand on her daughters (as far as we know).


All the same, Chua's modus operandi is to keep her daughters in check via the emotional mind game -- brain-washing, derision, negative reinforcement, and reverse psychology

When it comes to parenting, the Chinese seem to produce children who display academic excellence, musical mastery and professional success.

Hi everybody!

It's Sophia, the older tiger cub. I've decided to start a blog. Don't tell the Tiger Mom!!

Anyways. Although according to the ever-charming internet I'm already a freshman at Dartmouth, I'm actually an eighteen-year-old high school senior. And this morning, the internet told me I've "made up my mind" to attend Harvard next year.

To set the record straight, I applied to three schools last fall: Yale, Harvard, and University of Virginia. I was accepted to Yale under Early Action in December. I withdrew my application from UVA, and I was accepted to Harvard this Wednesday. I was shocked and thrilled to receive both acceptances, and I'm seriously considering both Yale and Harvard. Ashley's or J.P. Licks...Toad's or The T...tough call (although I am a huge fan of subways). I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime: if you're reading this, leave me a comment with questions, advice, or trolling. I can't wait.

xoxo tiger cub (not a Gossip Girl reference...I don't watch TV, remember?

Q: Why did you decide to start this blog?
A: When the whole world’s calling you a mindless robot, you kind of get the urge to start talking! Even though "Sophia" in the book is much more impressive than Sophia in real life. I think I’m sullying my impeccable image one post at a time, but so be it.

Q: So does Tiger Mom ever go Garfield (read: feel lazy)?
A: Absolutely...she has a ridiculous amount of energy, but eventually she burns out and collapses in bed. She’ll be like, "Sophia, get me my water bottle!" when it’s on her bedside table.


Q: I think many of people who read your mum's book wouldn't know satire if it hit them in the face. Do you feel the same?
A: It’s despicable to suggest her book is satirical, and I’m deeply traumatized. If you lay awake every night weeping over the charred remains of your stuffed animals, you’d be traumatized too. [edit: for the love of god, people, I'M KIDDING]

Q: What is it like getting up in the morning and getting ready for school with the tiger mom? Is it pretty hectic over there?
A: Lulu is the real tiger mom in the morning. I’d sleep through lunch every day if she didn’t drag me out of bed.

Q: What is your expectation of college life?
A: Sleep all day, rave all night. Learn by osmosis.

Q: Do you often go shopping with tiger mom?
A: There’s not much to buy in New Haven. Well, groceries. My mom knows how much I like driving (I have a license but no car), and she milks it. "Sophia!" She dangles the Jeep keys in front of my face. "You can drive to....STOP & SHOP!!!!" I take the bait every time.

Q: If your mother prevented you from going on play dates, sleep overs and participating in school dramas, shouldn't you have turned out to be socially incapable?
A: Thanks for asking – I’ve wanted to address this point since David Brooks published his op-Ed in the NYT. Let me indulge my not-so-inner nerd for a second: when you spend 7 hours at school a day, 180 days a year, for 13 years, you rack up 16,380 hours of social interaction. That’s the equivalent of over 3,200 five-hour playdates. So overall, I don’t feel too deprived.

Q: How do your friends and classmates feel about the situation?
A: My classmates, friends, and boyfriend have been the absolute best. When the people you know and like are on your side, it matters a lot less what angry strangers think. But NICE strangers’ opinions are super-super-important. They can/should be voiced in the comments section below :]

Maybe it is simply the case that a traditionally Asian upbringing is the problem. As Allyn points out, in order to be a leader, you must have followers. Associates at Pricewaterhouse­Coopers are initially judged on how well they do the work they are assigned. “You have to be a doer,” as she puts it. They are expected to distinguish themselves with their diligence, at which point they become “super-doers.” But being a leader requires different skill sets. “The traits that got you to where you are won’t necessarily take you to the next level,” says the diversity consultant Jane Hyun, who wrote a book called Breaking the Bamboo Ceiling. To become a leader requires taking personal initiative and thinking about how an organization can work differently. It also requires networking, self-promotion, and self-assertion. It’s racist to think that any given Asian individual is unlikely to be creative or risk-taking. It’s simple cultural observation to say that a group whose education has historically focused on rote memorization and “pumping the iron of math” is, on aggregate, unlikely to yield many people inclined to challenge authority or break with inherited ways of doing things.

Maybe it is simply the case that a traditionally Asian upbringing is the problem. As Allyn points out, in order to be a leader, you must have followers. Associates at Pricewaterhouse­Coopers are initially judged on how well they do the work they are assigned. “You have to be a doer,” as she puts it. They are expected to distinguish themselves with their diligence, at which point they become “super-doers.” But being a leader requires different skill sets. “The traits that got you to where you are won’t necessarily take you to the next level,” says the diversity consultant Jane Hyun, who wrote a book called Breaking the Bamboo Ceiling. To become a leader requires taking personal initiative and thinking about how an organization can work differently. It also requires networking, self-promotion, and self-assertion. It’s racist to think that any given Asian individual is unlikely to be creative or risk-taking. It’s simple cultural observation to say that a group whose education has historically focused on rote memorization and “pumping the iron of math” is, on aggregate, unlikely to yield many people inclined to challenge authority or break with inherited ways of doing things.

I'm thinking you didn't read the whole article.

I'm thinking that a person raised in Asia in a typical American style might face the same problems breaking into upper management. That cultural ineptness is a big roadblock to success.

They're saying that the "bamboo ceiling" is not just about racism but equally about culture. They're saying that Asian-Americans who adapt to American culture have a leg up and that the Tiger Mom thing works against them.