Good GOD some people are rude!

Forums: Restaurants, Chai, Restaurant Behavior, Speaker Phones, Rude People
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We just got back from (trying) to eat at a restaurant.
I honestly think this is the 2nd time in my life I walked out of a place before even ordering.

This was a nice restaurant, one that has occured to me several times in the last year to try out. My husband and I made a special date night to go there.

A couple with a teenager were seating right before us, at a booth next to a window with a nice view.
We were next and we requested a booth too. We were led to one, and I said "oooohh...could we get a booth by that window also?

No problem.

As we're getting settled in, we were talking. In the back of my mind I registered I was hearing voices over a speaker. When we stopped our brief conversation, I heard these speaker voices again, and the idea drifted into my mind that perhaps some police officers were eating there. I realize now this was a ridiculous thought, since it wasn't the type of place cops would go to on their dinner break, and if they did, they would have had their speakers turned WAY down. I simply wasn't paying much attention up until this point.

Suddenly, the people who were behind us, the same 3 that came in right before, got up suddenly and moved completely over to another area of the restaurant. It finally dawned on me why.
When they moved away, I realized the voices I heard were indeed coming from a speaker. The speaker of an iphone.

4 people, 2 in their 50's, and 2 more that were apparantly their parents/inlaws, were at the booth beyond them, with the iphone in the middle of the table, and they were all having a conversation with someone on the phone. And I mean a loud conversation. The people at the table were all speaking loud enough that we could completely hear every word they said. We would have been able to hear them if we had been 3 or even 4 booths away. And the speaker phone? Tres annoying.

Our waiter arrived for drink orders, and I asked him to speak to those people. He looked over, then continued to ask for our drink orders. I figured "let him get our drink order" then he'll go over.
He takes the order, then starts to walk in the opposite direction. I said "Excuse me? Could you ask those people to turn their speaker phone off?" (They were now discussing with someone, who was obviously a customer, the procedure for bringing in their dog to be trained) He looked over there again, and started over, then veered away to the front of the restaurant. I figured he was getting the manager.
Of course he wasn't, the conversation on the speaker phone continued, no manager, no amount of looks in their direction changed anything.

Waiter comes back with drinks and my husband says "no ones talked to them yet, go over there and tell them to turn their goddamn phone off."
The waiter says, I kid you not "it's not my job to ask them to not talk on the phone"

Shocked

That's it.

I say "This isn't someone talking on their phone. This is four people having a loud conversation with someone on a speaker phone! This entire area of the restaurant can hear every word all of them are saying. I'm sure you noticed your table of people all moved to the other end of the room, out of your area, just to get away from them!"

Wally says "Let's go"

Oh, now all of a sudden, as we're getting up, it's all "let me get a manager" etc.
I look over at the people who had to move, and they are now actively engaged in watching to see what happens. The phone people? Totally oblivious to all of this.

We get up and I walk straight up to their table and say "You've made one table move to get away from you, and now we're leaving to get away from you also. I'm sure the restaurant appreciates it that they aren't going to get our business, or that we won't ever think of coming here again." No arguments, part of me just likes to believe that once someone is made aware of something, they may at some future time reflect, and or/change. Seriously, I have had things said to me, that did not hit me for years and years, but when it did, it made a difference.

As I walk away, the older lady says, lamely "Well, I hope you have a wonderful evening"

Why is it the people who are literally driving others away from them can't see what they are doing?

Ohhhh...well know there's a manager, now the asking if they can do anything.

Too late for you bub.

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@chai2,

Well written scribe, chai.

May the blossoms of fungus overlay their food, and I'm not talking mushrooms.

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Thanks

You know, I am not at all hard to please in a restaurant. I'm the type that if it's crowded, it's no big deal where I sit, if they are out of something I just order something else, and can't think of any special requests I make.

Low maintenance diner, that's me.

Chai trying to have a drink while speakerphone conversation is going on.....

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@chai2,

You captured it, you are a genius.

Not to sound too adulatory, really, chai, that is a perfect sequitur.

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@chai2,

guy i work with uses the speaker feature on his phone every time he makes a call.
i think it's a habit that goes back to when the feature was added to the phones -- a new toy to play with.
so you hear dial tone, beeps, ringing, and the person answering, at which point he finally privatizes his call.

ok, that's bad enough... but sometimes he does it, but can't remember the extension he wants to dial,
so he holds that effing button down until he locates the number on the phone list.
times like that i wish i had me a sledgehammer...

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There was a coffee house i once frequented, and in the late 80s, early 90s, cell phones were still relatively uncommon. One day, some clown in a suit comes in, and begins calling people and speaking very loudly. He was also, not very surreptitiously, looking around to assure himself that everyone was watching him. It was really a case of look-at-me-i-have-a-cell-phone. The day manager, who was also one of the owners, walked over and told him to tone it down or take it outside. The joker got all huffy and said they would lose his business. The manager says bye-bye and walks back to the counter.

Your problem was as much a problem with management as it was with the rude clowns in the other booth.

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@chai2,

Good for you, that you voted with your feet. Maybe, from now on, the manager will be more responsive when the next group of boors make dining a miserable experience for the other patrons.

Some guy in a restaurant that I was in had a cellphone that rang......................like a phone, and loud. He didn't annoy me with the conversation (he was across the room), but I jumped every time the phone rang, and it did so, often, during my meal.

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@Region Philbis,

RP - Why don't you ask this co-worker not to do this?

I'd be terrified of having a speaker phone conversation outside of my own office. I can just imagine what a friend might pop out with while I'm where other people could hear. Especially Wally, he has various greetings when he sees it's me calling that would definately raise eyebrows.

Set - You're right, the Manager actually did show up, once we were outside and walking up to our car. I was not impressed. He was a young guy (not his fault, there are plenty of young managers that are good). First thing out of his mouth was "you wanted to see a manager?" When I looked up at him, I could tell he was a manager, by the way he was dressed. My thought was "that's a hell of an opening, you knew we had wanted you way before this, now you walk up like this is all news to you." The first thing I thought of to say to him (which I didn't, I wish maybe I had) was "get your hands out of you pockets, you're standing there way too casual, like you don't really think our problem deserves merit"
Both of us just said something to the effect of "no, too little, too late" He said something about being sorry we were upset that someone was talking on the phone.
Oh ****....it's wasn't about someone talking on their phone. It was about 4 people having a crowded bar volume conversation in a low volume conversaton restaurant with a 5th person on a f'ing speaker!

I saw a man standing right next to me take a call in a crowded situation, and I never heard a word. That's because he had the courtesty of putting his other hand up in front of his mouth, so it was a private call.

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@chai2,

I had a job which required me to carry a cell phone (which was provided). When i went to lunch, i put it on vibrate, and if i got a call, i would go outside to take the call. Some people are just pricks.

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@chai2,

Quote:

RP - Why don't you ask this co-worker not to do this?

i've worked with the guy for a while now, so it's a 'keep-the-peace' sort of thing.
it's like a reflex -- don't think he could make a call without using the speaker.
i usually have headphones on, so i barely hear it...

i am truly thankful that texting has all but replaced voice calls as the favored pastime of the 20-somethings on the bus i take to work...

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@chai2,

Many people observe rules of behavior when they're in church. There are also other places where rules of behavior apply - the symphony, movie theaters, restaurants, office cube space, etc.

We had two primary restaurant rules of behavior that we instilled in the girls from the time they were babies. One, it is not ok to run around a restaurant or otherwise disrupt the experience of other patrons. And, two, conversation that is loud enough to be heard at another table violates number one.

I can be a real bitch at times. Someone disrupting my dining experience is one of those times. I probably would have asked them to ditch the speaker phone before asking the waiter to do it, but I too would have left rather than spend money at a place that didn't support a quiet dining experience.

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@JPB,

Pish-tosh . . . i have no doubt that butter would not melt in your mouth.

Seriously, i would not consider that being a bitch. I would consider that standing up for your rights, and the rights of the other diners.

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@Setanta,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

yer funny!

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@JPB,

Hi JPB
Yeah, it's my natural instinct, and well within my capabilities to take care of stuff like that myself.

It does irk me a little that the expected way of handling it is to send someone else with the message.
It makes it feel like maybe I'm too chickenshit to make my own needs known.

In addition, I think it gives a certain amount of people, the really rude/oblivious to others, an edge of some kind, because they realize many people are too hesitant to say something themselves.

Then again, you never know how people are going to react, go all postal on ya. Although even if they do get loud and angry back at you, they are just proving their lack of manners, and are most likely bluffing.

Me? If anyone came up to me in a restaurant and informed me I was disturbing them, or the waiter told me, I'd be mortified.

I'd be interested in hearing from someone who works in or owns a restaurant, if they would rather have a customer let them handle telling someone to pipe down, or if they are ok if the person being bothered can handle telling the offender in as polite a way as possible themselves.

I think, unless it's a really good server or manager, the message could get watered down so much it would be useless. Take my case. Right until the end, no one that worked there seemed to understand the problem was not the cell phone use, but the fact it was like there was a stage show going on, what with the speaker phone and the people talking loudly, apparantly because they thought they had to to have the person on speaker here them.

It is truly beyond me how anyone could consider that ok behavior.

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@JPB,

JPB wrote:

I too would have left rather than spend money at a place that didn't support a quiet dining experience.

This.

Some places are deliberately noisy, and it's OK to have your loud conversation there.

Some places are deliberately quiet, and the management should respect the other patrons enough to shut someone down who's being disruptive.

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@chai2,

Quote:

Waiter comes back with drinks and my husband says "no ones talked to them yet, go over there and tell them to turn their goddamn phone off."

Yes, some people are indeed rude.

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Good GOD some people are rude!

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