Dubious restaurant names.

Bubba Blue's DOR* Roadside Diner

Serving only the freshest game
*(dead on road)

Wiffle House

Specializing in light, airy desserts such as beignets and cream puffs.

Chicken Pox Soup For the Soul

HQ Hairy Queen
HQ, that's what we like about Texas.

an alternate lifestyle restaurant

Hairy Queen's biggest rival, Furry Queen

Dead Lobster

If it's red it's already dead.

'Dant's Kuolema Diner'

Food to die for

Hard as a Rock Cafe

Specializing in day-old french bread

Pizza Hovel

Cheaper version of Pizza Hut

'Dant's Down-'N-Dirty Diner & Bar'

By not washing the dishes, we are able to reduce our prices considerably, thereby making it cheaper for you, our valued customers, to dine here regularly

Outback Steakhouse

Outdoor dining in the alley with subdued lighting and a rustic atmosphere.

Dumpster Cafe

Paco Bell Restaurant

Listen to live, baroque music while dining on fine Mexican food. Our small ensembles play popular works while you eat, such as Vilvaldi's Four Seasons, Bach's Brandenburg concertos, and the titular Pachelbel Canon.

'Dant's Take-It-Or-Leave-It Takeaway'

Note: We do not have a menu - You order by number of serves, you pay, then you can take it or leave it... noneverminds to us, we'll just sell it again

Hell's Kitchen Restaurant*

Our waiters may not sing, but they'll cuss you out if you hold your fork wrong, order the wrong wine, or ask for salt. Think of it as a learning experience.

*Not associated with the Gordian Ramsay restaurants of the same name.

Chez What?

A real soul food joint in Chicago-town

'Dant's Mystery Meat Meals & Constipatorium'

We at Dant's Mystery Meats are fully committed to 'whole-of-animal' use and the circular economy

To that end, we arranged for a weekly container shipment direct from the Wuhan Wet Market to our distribution centre... we accept whatever is sent, and use the lot! We do say, however, that among the cuts of meat we receive are some that our Chefs know not wot of, but, undaunted, they continue to create delicious, nutritious and cheap meals for our discerning clientele

We then pack the container with solids from the Constipatorium, and send it back to Wuhan, where it is spread over the fields and forests, to provide food and such for the native wildlife, which is then predated, and so on and so forth

♪ ♫ ♪ We provide soft tissues, bidets and fluffy towels,
You provide the contents of your roiling, boiling bowels!
Constipated clients are given 'special' treats,
And become crap-happy customers of 'Dant's Mystery Meats' ♪ ♫ ♪

Positions Vacant: Due to a huge increase in business, there is a permanent Turd Turner position available at the Constipatorium

Apply in person, ready for an immediate start

IHOP International House of Prunes

Make us your regular restaurant

Wurst Haus German Restaurant

Don't ask what's in our sausages and we won't tell.