Problem parent!!

Try expelling the kid for bullying.

His son will not behave the same way with dad present. What if a third party came to observe his son?

That seems like a prime opportunity to me, actually. (Annoying short-term, with possible long-term benefits.) You can agree with him about how discipline is most effective when happens right after the transgression, and say that you expect him to go ahead and deal with the behavior since he is there observing.

You've already established that you think the child is disruptive and that the parent should be doing something about it.

The parent seems to agree that the child is acting inappropriately, but is just protesting that he can't do anything about it if he's not there.

If he's there, he can.

He may also just not really get how disruptive his son is being, in which case his presence would be a win either way -- if the child is disruptive, the parent can see that for himself; while if the child is not disruptive, the child is not disruptive! And then you can say something like, "I was so impressed with how much better [child's name] was behaving today when you were here, clearly he thinks a lot of you and wants to please you. I think it would make a big difference if you explain to him why it is important not to [hit other kids or whatever he was doing to hurt them, etc.]"

Good luck!

How about if the dad comes and observes from an unseen location?

If there is a way that the parent can observe the child without the child knowing, that would be the ideal situation and would eliminate the possibility of selective behavior when the child is aware that a parent is present.

An alternative would be a video camera temporarily placed in the room to film the child's behavior.

Eeek! A feminist is reading my mind and typing out the same thoughts I had!

why say no?

you've got the parent's interest and attention. take advantage of that.

have you reviewed all of this with the appropriate senior staff at your school?

First of all, you should'nt ever worry about how something you say will "seem" to others. You say what you mean, and you mean what you say. How the person you're talking to percieves it is up to them. Secondly, just do your "best" with the child, treat it how you'd like to be treated. How it reacts is beyond your control. Bottom line, don't worry about things you can't control.

that's my question as well - have you elevated this problem to the principal/administrator or whomever is the appropriate individual? It would seem this type of disruption and behavor would warrent it.

What is your school policy on handling such behavior? I know my children's school has policies that outline exactly how certain behavior will be handled.

Me, too, with ehBeth and Linkat. Why haven't you discussed this with your school principal or guidance counsellor?