Screenplay- "Saman~Grey"

okay, even though no one is responding, i'll post the 1st scene:

SCENE1 (Victor's house) Victor, Leah, Elias

(Audioslave playing in the background - camera on Victor's electric guitar - camera zooms out to reveal Victor clad in black jeans and a black T shirt with the words BLACK CANVAS across in bold red letters - His eyes are closed and his fingers are drumming - His eyes open suddenly - He rummages around in his dresser with his hand *he is still on the ground* to find the remote - He finds it and turns the power off - excited, he jumps up from the floor and starts searching the room.)

Victor: (muttering) paper... paper...

(He reaches into his pocket - he smiles victoriously)

Victor: Ah...

(He pulls out a pad of paper and a pen - He writes something down on the paper - He picks up his tape recorder from the table at the side of his bed - he turns the tape recorder on and starts recording a new song.)

::about 15 seconds pass::

Leah: Victor! C'mere!

Victor: Mom, I'm recording a song! Can this wait a minute?

Leah: Not really. I have to ask you something. C'mon Vick...

Victor: Alright... hold on...

(Victor rewinds the tape recorder and walks toward his door - Notices a poster on his wall saying London - He tries to make it straight, but the poster falls on the ground - He looks at it with indifference.)

Victor: (mutters) Yeh, well...

(Victor grabs his songbook and walks out of the room, butt as he's walking he hits his head on the door frame - He rubs the spot of impact.)

Victor: Damn door...

(Camera changes to the living room - Victor walks down the stairs still rubbing his head.)

Victor: Hello Mother. (He says mother with a weird accent)

Leah: Victor, don't be dumb.

(Victor shrugs, walks over to the couch and plops himself down.)

Leah: I have a surprise for you...

(Victor looks up at his Mom and raises his eyebrows.)

Leah: Actually, it's more of a question than a surprise. You will be surprised, however.

(Leah places her hands in her back pockets and paces a bit - She looks down, then up, and then at Victor)

Leah: Okay, what would you think about Elias coming to stay with us for a while?

(Victor shakes his head in confusion - He gets up off the couch.)

Victor: Why would we want to do that, Mom? He moved to Phoenix to get away from this place!

(Victor starts to walk away)

Leah: Victor! I know he did, but from what I know he's changed his mind since then. Maybe he came to his senses, I don't know... I'm still upset by what he said about where we live, but I'm not about to abandon him.

(Victor stops and turns to face his Mom.)

Victor: What about his parents, Mom?

(Leah bites her nails - She starts pacing again.)

Leah: Umm...

(Leah scratches her head)

Leah: I think they kicked him out.

(Victor sighs - He looks at the ground.)

Victor: Jesus Christ, what did he do now?

(Victor looks up at Leah in a half sympathetic, half annoyed look.)

Leah: He wouldn't say, but he'll be here any minute.

(Victor gapes at Leah.)

Victor: Are you absolutely positive that you're ready for this? Can you handle him Mom? I mean, it's Elias Winter for God's sake...

(Knock on the door.)

(Leah walks toward the door.)

Leah: I don't know, but I guess we'll find out...

(Leah opens the door - Elias is standing there in blue jeans and a plain white shirt - He smiles at Leah, and then at Victor.)

Elias: Hey, guys. Thanks for letting me...

(Victor interrupts Elias.)

Victor: Mom, I'll be back later.

(Music in hand, he walks past Elias, bumping his shoulder as he walks past.)

(Elias looks back at Victor)

End of Scene 1

reply if you want to hear more.

Sounds interesting. A script critic I am not.

SCENE 2 (Keri's house) Keri, Catherine

(Camera shows the vacant interior of an old room - Camera zooms in to reveal a picture of a teenaged girl, the only distinctive feature of the room - Camera zooms in on the door and remains still for a second - Catherine, Keri's mother's voice is heard from the outside.)

Catherine: Stop it Keri. Give me a chance to talk to you! Keri, please!

Keri: Where were you last night? I never even knew that you left!

Catherine: It's no big deal. I was with Morgan.

Keri: Never mind, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Catherine: Keri...

(The door opens - Keri enters - Catherine enters - Keri looks at her watch.)

Keri: Oh look! It's almost noon! Why don't you go have a drink?

Catherine: What did you just say?

Keri: Oh, I'm sorry, did I slur?

Catherine: (screaming) I am your mother! You can respect me or you can leave! Your 17! Grow up!

(Keri looks surprised - Her eyes are open wide.)

Keri: Catherine! You're 32! You grow up!

Catherine: You will call me mother!

Keri: I will call you mother when your maternal prestige begins to peek through. So far I haven't been faced with that hurdle.

Catherine: Don't do this Keri. Now is not the time.

(Keri's eyes fill with tears.)

Keri: You took me away from my friends, my school, my father... Brynn and I haven't spoken in 3 months because I took your side over his. After all that has happened, I thought you might have come to your senses. But of course not. Despite my best efforts, you have gone back to your old habits. Why would you do this to me? I thought you loved me.

(Catherine's mouth is wide open.)

Catherine: Oh Keri, come off it! What are you talking about?

Keri: Five nights out of this past week, and three of those five nights you don't even know who brought you home. You screwed everything up. I am the juvenile, remember? You need to learn your place as my mother if that's what you want me refer to you as. I seriously cannot be the parent in this relationship anymore. I just can't, so could you possibly lay off the melodrama and pretend you're an adult?

(Catherine purses her lips)

Catherine: My god, Karen! Last week, I lost my whole life. Including my house, my job, my husband, and my daughter, and...

(Keri interrupts Catherine.)

Keri: Yeah, and if you aren't careful, you'll lose your other one too.

(Catherine turns around - Anger builds inside her - She hits the doorframe hard.)

Catherine: Would you please just give me a little time to deal with all of this?

Keri: (with sarcasm) You're right, Catherine, I'll try and forget about everything that has happened until you're ready to deal with it.

Catherine: Keri... It's...

(Keri interrupts Catherine)

Keri: No! Please don't try to justify anything you've done. Either apologize, or leave me alone...

(Catherine stares at Keri.)

Keri: I'm serious...

(Catherine stares at the ground - She sighs - She leaves the room.)

Keri: Of course...

End of Scene 2

SCENE 3 (Park) Victor, Elias

(An empty swing is shown in the daylight.)

::Day passes to midday::

(Victor is shown in the swing - Elias enters from behind Victor - He sits down on the swing next to Victor.)

Elias: Hey Saman, what's goin' on?

Victor: Not much, Elias. It's just Revo... You know, home of the trailer.

Elias: C'mon Saman, I thought we were past this. I didn't mean what I said about this place. I missed it here. We can't fight anymore. You're one of the only friends I got left.

Victor: Yeah, whatever... Why did you come back? Didn't you like your new home better? I mean, this is no Phoenix.

Elias: Saman, stop it, please? You know it was hell for me. Leave it there for now. I'm not in the mood for a depression relapse right now. Whatever, I'll just leave you alone I guess...

(Elias gets up off of the swing - He starts to leave - Victor sighs - Victor gets up too)

Victor: Elias...

(Elias turns around - He looks Victor in the eyes.)

Elias: Saman...?

(Victor walks over to Elias.)

Victor: I'm glad you're home... I'm confused, and a bit ****ed off. But still, this is your home.

(Elias smiles.)

Elias: I know... thanks Saman...

End of Scene 3

please reply to hear more!

This is very good so far, be intersting to see whats gonna happen next.

SCENE 8 (Victor's house) Leah, Elias

(Leah is frantically preparing a pre-mixed health shake in the kitchen - some of the shake spills onto the floor.)

Leah: ****… Of all the days…

(Leah grabs a paper towel and cleans up the mess - Elias enters the room wearing his backpack - his shirt is covered in mud - Leah looks up at Elias - her mouth drops.)

Leah: Oh, Elias…

(Leah looks him up and down with a confused/concerned look on her face.)

Leah: Where'd you go?

Elias: On that trail down by Darewood and Fretwell. Don't worry… I brought my own bike.

Leah: Oh, okay… you know, I can wash that for you if you want…

(Elias looks down at his shirt.)

Elias: Wow, I didn't realize it was that bad… Sure you don't mind?

Leah: No, I've got a bunch of Victor's stuff to do anyway.

(Elias takes the mud-stained shirt off and hands it to Leah.)

Elias: Speaking of Vick, have you seen him lately?
Leah: Not in a while. I think he was outside last time I checked.

Elias: Okay, well, I'm gonna stay in his room tonight if that's alright. I need to talk to him about some things. I have a lot of explaining and apologizing to do.

Leah: Elias, what happened in Phoenix?

Elias: I really want to tell you, honestly, but I can't. Well, I could, but I'd feel more comfortable talking it over with Vick first.

Leah: I understand. I just want you to know that if you need me…

Elias: Don't worry Miss Saman.

Leah: You know, you can call me Leah now. We're both adults.

Elias: Alright, Leah. Whoa I never realized what a nice name you had.

(Elias looks at Leah for a minute - They stare, smile, and break the stare in sync with one another.)

Elias: Oh! I almost forgot…

(Elias rummages around inside his pockets - He pulls out a check.)

Elias: Here's my rent.

Leah: Elias! You don't have to pay me rent. Especially not this much!

Elias: I know, but I'd like to contribute as much as I can. You deserve more than you get. Anything I can do to pitch in makes me feel more at home. Please take it, Leah.

Leah: Thank you so much. You don't know how badly we needed this.

(Leah gives Elias a hug - Elias closes his eyes - Leah closes her eyes - The hug lasts longer than usual, but neither one of them consider it abnormal.)

Elias: Thank you, Leah… (they look at one another for a few seconds.) I think I'm gonna get to bed now.

(Leah nods her head slightly and smiles.)

Leah: Goodnight, Elias.

Elias: Good night…
(Elias walks up the stairs to Victor's room and closes the door.)

End of Scene 8

cool, but is there a reason why you skip out on scenes? just curious.

oh my god. i didnt see that i did that. im so stupid... sorry... heres scene 4:

SCENE 4 (Victor's house) Leah, Brad

(Camera zoomed in on a picture of Victor as an infant - Camera zooms out to show Leah cleaning the table - Leah is humming the Friends theme song "I'll Be There For You" - There is a knock on the door - Leah sighs.)

Leah: Hrm... I'm coming!

(She stops cleaning and puts her rag down - The doorbell rings.)

Leah: Hold on! (Mutters) dammit, my house is a mess...

(Leah opens the door - Her mouth drops open.)

Leah: No... Not now. Please not now...

Brad Grey: Leah...

(Leah tries to shut the door - Brad blocks her way.)

Leah: Don't say my name!

(Leah points outside with her arm outstretched.)

Leah: Get out!

Brad: Le...

(Leah interrupts Brad.)

Leah: No! Leave! I swear I'll call the cops.

Brad: I need to talk...

Leah: That's not my problem...

(Leah pushed him outside.)

Brad: Leah, don't do this to me, please... I need to talk to you. Is Victor here?

(Leah's mouth drops - She comes outside and closes the door behind her - She points her finger at Brad merely centimeters from his face.)

Leah: You will not speak his name, you hear me? You left us 17 years ago, remember? 17 years ago! It's your own fault you missed out. I need you to go.

Brad: Leah, I'm moving back to Revo.

(Leah covers her mouth and backs up in shock.)

Leah: Why?!

(Leah shakes her head in disbelief.)

Leah: Why would you do this now, Brad? He's fine as he is.

Brad: I want to do this, because I love him no matter what you may think. He's my son Leah. I never wanted to leave him in the first place, Leah. You know that.

(Brad looks up, obviously holding back tears.)

Brad: My father made me leave him with you. I don't know how much time I have left to fix what he has done to us. I'm sorry, but I want to know my son!

(Leah comes closer - She sighs, and looks at the ground.)

Leah: Brad, he doesn't know about you. He doesn't know who his father is.

(Brad opens his eyes wide.)

Brad: What?! How could he not know who I am? (With sarcasm) Did you not explain to him that it takes a woman AND a man to make a baby? Didn't the topic of his FATHER ever come up once?

(Leah looks at Brad.)

Leah: He knows that I am his mother. He doesn't care who his father is. He has me. Why is all of this going on right now? He's gonna be a senior in high school! Can't we deal with all of this **** after graduation?

(Brad sighs and looks at Leah.)

Brad: Leah, I don't want to fight. I wasn't asking you permission. I will see my son. Don't be upset with me, please. I'll explain things to you sometime when we've calmed down.

(Brad takes a napkin from his pocket - He writes down his phone number, and hands it to Leah.)

Brad: Goodbye, Leah...

(Brad turns away and walks off.)

(Leah is left on her porch staring at the ground - She lifts her hands to cover her face and shakes her head - She collects herself and walks in the house.)

End of Scene 4

Donteatpants, keep going, this is good.

I hope you get enough people to give you helpful feedback. I'm not a good critic as I don't know how to write screen plays, but I do think you have some good material.

Hey, Donteatpants; I've done a lot of independent screenplay as well as adaption of books for several théâtre groups in the past. I'd be happy to give my opinion. It's rather emotionally-charged and interesting thus far, but I'd have to see the whole episode to be able to praise and constructively criticize. I like the rate that you're going at at the moment, though; it keeps people in suspence, and doesn't barrage us with it all in one place.

Good luck!

I have a lot of reading to catch up on.....