Internet ethics

@boomerang,

Ooh... good topic.

I'm not there yet but have been thinking about it, not least because of my 12-year-old niece who I see doing eek things on Facebook.

I've talked to her some.

I think mostly the baseline stuff would apply re: being respectful in general. But I'll probably talk to my own kid more about hot state/ cold state stuff when it comes to writing on the internet -- walking away before you say something you regret. Knowing that once you click "reply" or "submit" or "send," there's no taking it back. And knowing that whatever you write, at any time, can come to light at any time. Would you want it printed out and taped to your back? If not, don't write it.

0 Replies

Good advice, soz!

Even schools are having to deal with these issues now. Although stuff happens off campus, the fallout always seems to make it back to school. The head of our school told the students at the first of the year not to write anything on Facebook that they wouldn't want him to read, because he will be checking. I think that has stopped most of the nasty stuff. Which is good, because these are highschoolers and college recruiters are checking, too. As employers will be.

0 Replies

@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

Today I was reading about the guy who jumped off a bridge after his room mate filmed him having sex and broadcast it over the internet.

One of the experts that talked to spoke about how for a lot of young people the line between public and private is so blurry that they make bad decisions.

One some other threads some of us have been talking about education issues and how school can/should prepare you for life/work.

I think a course on internet ethics might be a really good idea.

But since that probably will never happen I'm wondering how you talk to your teenagers about internet ethics.

Not how do you teach them to protect themselves, but how do you teach them to respect other people?

Thanks!

The idiots who outed the guy are going to find the meaning of Law; and the gay guy is entitled to a refund of his rent...

0 Replies

@boomerang,

Quote:

how do you teach them to respect other people?

By example and by talking about it. You start talking to them when they're about two. Leaving it until they're 13 is too late.

Mona - mother of two reasonably respectful teenagers

1 Reply

I suspect that these problems are not the result of the internet, and that they would still be problems in a densely population, industrial society with or without the internet. The key is whether or not children have learned to respect others . . .

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for
authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place
of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their
households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They
contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties
at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

That is a quote of Socrates (according to Plato, who did know him), and strongly suggests that problems of respect and discretion were as worrisome more than 2000 years ago as they are today. One might suggest that the internet enhances these problems, but i doubt it. Young people often have a hard time dealing with public gossip--a suicide could as easily be the product of village gossip without the internet.

0 Replies

@MonaLeeza,

Word.

0 Replies

Quote:

One of the experts that talked to spoke about how for a lot of young people the line between public and private is so blurry that they make bad decisions.

Did someone really say that about this case? I'm not disbelieving you when you state that it's true - I am in absolute disbelief that someone who is posing as an 'expert' on this issue could utter such an inane and stupid sentence which essentially makes the line between right and wrong or cruelty and kindness ' blurry', and almost implies that there is an excuse for the behavior of these two mean, nasty people who set out to humiliate this boy.

So this expert believes there are 18 year old college freshman who don't know that sex between two people in a locked room is private and not public?
Were they invited to watch? Were they asked to set up their webcam? Did they have to stop and think and ask themselves - 'Oh, could this be a private situation here?' Because honestly - what outcome does this 'expert' think these two people were hoping for?
Jesus ******* Christ!
(Sorry - but this makes my blood boil).

This is not about public and private etiquette. This is about flat out meanness.

Fortunately - both of my children are kind people. It would never occur to me that I might have to say, 'Oh and if your roommate is having sex - please remember it's NOT OKAY to set up webcams and tape them and then post them on the internet in an effort to humiliate them.'

I only hope I don't have to say, 'If you're going to have sex with someone in the privacy of your own dorm room - search for webcams - you might be living with a rude, cruel and immature asshole who wants to humiliate you and ruin your life.'

Scary.

I don't think any course on ethics could begin to touch what is wrong with these two people. Some people just like to hurt other people - in real life - and on the internet. Sad - but true.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

Today I was reading about the guy who jumped off a bridge after his room mate filmed him having sex and broadcast it over the internet.

One of the experts that talked to spoke about how for a lot of young people the line between public and private is so blurry that they make bad decisions.

One some other threads some of us have been talking about education issues and how school can/should prepare you for life/work.

I think a course on internet ethics might be a really good idea.

But since that probably will never happen I'm wondering how you talk to your teenagers about internet ethics.

Not how do you teach them to protect themselves, but how do you teach them to respect other people?

Thanks!

I have never done it.

David

0 Replies

@aidan,

aidan wrote:

Quote:
One of the experts that talked to spoke about how for a lot of young people the line between public and private is so blurry that they make bad decisions.

Did someone really say that about this case? I'm not disbelieving you when you state that it's true - I am in absolute disbelief that someone who is posing as an 'expert' on this issue could utter such an inane and stupid sentence which essentially makes the line between right and wrong or cruelty and kindness ' blurry', and almost implies that there is an excuse for the behavior of these two mean, nasty people who set out to humiliate this boy.

So this expert believes there are 18 year old college freshman who don't know that sex between two people in a locked room is private and not public?
Were they invited to watch? Were they asked to set up their webcam? Did they have to stop and think and ask themselves - 'Oh, could this be a private situation here?' Because honestly - what outcome does this 'expert' think these two people were hoping for?
Jesus ******* Christ!
(Sorry - but this makes my blood boil).

This is not about public and private etiquette. This is about flat out meanness.

Fortunately - both of my children are kind people. It would never occur to me that I might have to say, 'Oh and if your roommate is having sex - please remember it's NOT OKAY to set up webcams and tape them and then post them on the internet in an effort to humiliate them.'

I only hope I don't have to say, 'If you're going to have sex with someone in the privacy of your own dorm room - search for webcams - you might be living with a rude, cruel and immature asshole who wants to humiliate you and ruin your life.'

Scary.

I don't think any course on ethics could begin to touch what is wrong with these two people. Some people just like to hurt other people - in real life - and on the internet. Sad - but true.

Some people pull the wings off of flies, and some people humiliate others on the internet... Isn't it just one big toy, part mirror, part mudhole??? Internet ethics are no different from other ethics; but the whole world and the whole country with it is demoralized... Do unto others has taken on a shade of meaning never intended, but inevitable given the faults of those who taught it...Let me see if I can say this better: The bigger part of morality is instinctual bonding of child with mother, and child with family that in the healthy child is extended to all of society and humanity... That bonding is absent or degraded in far too many, and many have the attitude that others exist for their sport just as flies do for those fast enough to snatch them from the air...

Why did they let that person into their apartment???If their actions were offensive, bound to be humiliating if exposed, why were they even allowed???

1 Reply

@Fido,

Quote:

Why did they let that person into their apartment???If their actions were offensive, bound to be humiliating if exposed, why were they even allowed???

The account that I read said that the boy who committed suicide was roommates with the boy who set up the webcam. They shared a dorm room so the victim couldn't keep the perpetrator and his friends out of the room.

There was a girl who participated in setting up the webcam and posting the video - I don't know if she was the girlfriend of the dead boy's roommate or just some sick, totally unrelated bitch who wanted to get in on the action.
The boy who was filmed having sex was unaware that he and his partner were being filmed. And they were taped more than once apparently.

I mean think about it - even before we had the internet - I don't know how many roommates you've had - but I've had a bunch. Should there've been classes in camcorder etiquette or tape recorder etiquette? If someone had wanted to tape me or anyone else doing private stuff and give private viewings in dorm rooms - sure they could have - but what sort of sick person even thinks of doing that?
It has nothing to do with manners and everything to do with a sadistic personality.

2 Replies

@aidan,

aidan wrote:

Quote:
Why did they let that person into their apartment???If their actions were offensive, bound to be humiliating if exposed, why were they even allowed???

The account that I read said that the boy who committed suicide was roommates with the boy who set up the webcam. They shared a dorm room so the victim couldn't keep the perpetrator and his friends out of the room.

There was a girl who participated in setting up the webcam and posting the video - I don't know if she was the girlfriend of the dead boy's roommate or just some sick, totally unrelated bitch who wanted to get in on the action.
The boy who was filmed having sex was unaware that he and his partner were being filmed. And they were taped more than once apparently.

I mean think about it - even before we had the internet - I don't know how many roommates you've had - but I've had a bunch. Should there've been classes in camcorder etiquette or tape recorder etiquette? If someone had wanted to tape me or anyone else doing private stuff and give private viewings in dorm rooms - sure they could have - but what sort of sick person even thinks of doing that?
It has nothing to do with manners and everything to do with a sadistic personality.

I am Catholic... I always feel watch...

0 Replies

@aidan,

aidan wrote:

Quote:
Why did they let that person into their apartment???If their actions were offensive, bound to be humiliating if exposed, why were they even allowed???

The account that I read said that the boy who committed suicide was roommates with the boy who set up the webcam. They shared a dorm room so the victim couldn't keep the perpetrator and his friends out of the room.

There was a girl who participated in setting up the webcam and posting the video - I don't know if she was the girlfriend of the dead boy's roommate or just some sick, totally unrelated bitch who wanted to get in on the action.
The boy who was filmed having sex was unaware that he and his partner were being filmed. And they were taped more than once apparently.

I mean think about it - even before we had the internet - I don't know how many roommates you've had - but I've had a bunch. Should there've been classes in camcorder etiquette or tape recorder etiquette? If someone had wanted to tape me or anyone else doing private stuff and give private viewings in dorm rooms - sure they could have - but what sort of sick person even thinks of doing that?
It has nothing to do with manners and everything to do with a sadistic personality.

the vudeo was on te web for 3 days everybody thought f very funny cos it was 2 men
if t roommate was shacked yup with a girl nobodycares

10 years in prison for a prank, nope

1 Reply

@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

But since that probably will never happen I'm wondering how you talk to your teenagers about internet ethics.

Not how do you teach them to protect themselves, but how do you teach them to respect other people?Thanks!

It's a daily thing, really. You have to talk, talk talk talk daily about it and explain that whatever they write, will be permanently put out in the open for others to see. Facebook has become a social tool especially for girls. I have found that boys go there, check it out and get bored with it. Not so with girls, they chat for hours and the more "friends" they have the better.

I monitor my daughter's activities regularly and she has to have me on her
fb account as well, although I did promise her that I won't write on her wall.
Frequently we check out her friends list to see if indeed they're all friends as the girls tend to accept requests just because someone else has them on their list. Anyone who Jane is not too familiar with, will be tossed out.

We talk about internet ethics, internet etiquette and all the pitfalls of the
internet all the time. You just can't hope that your teenager makes the right
decision on her/his own at that age, they need help and they need monitoring,
not only on the computer but also with ipod's. All ipod touch have
computer access and there is no way anyone can control what the kids are
watching or doing. I had to deactivate internet access on my daughter's ipod
touch for that reason. She's still too young (15) to be completely unsupervised
on the internet.

0 Replies

@ABE5177,

I didn't read anything about ten years. The account I read said the maximum sentence would be five years.

And they best be careful about linking the act and the response and repercussions too closely to the fact that the two people being filmed were gay - as then it becomes a hate crime and aren't the sentences for hate crimes more stringent?

And it's just sad that people would laugh at that. If they want to watch two gay men, why don't they just go rent a gay porn movie?

I'm not really bothered about the sentence these two people get to tell you the truth. What's done is done - that boy's life is over- and these two have to live with the fact that they did something so hurtful to him that he felt unable to cope with the humiliation and repercussions of their act.

What I do care about is having 'experts' walking around saying stuff like 'the problem is that people can no longer differentiate between public and private and so they make unwise choices'.

Don't give people like this anymore license to do this sort of thing than they already feel they have.

Is it an unwise choice to be a peeping tom? Or is it a crime? Can we blame that activity on the fact that the line has become blurry between public and private activity?
And those people don't usually publish their findings gleaned from their peeping tom escapades - they at least have the grace to keep it to themselves.

0 Replies

I disagree that it is the same as teaching your kid face to face respect. I think people are more willing to do and say things on the internet than they would in real life. Not only is there the anonimity but there is no risk of someone immediately punching them in the nose.

Cameras are so tiny that people can be fimed without knowing they're being filmed, an it can be done by remote, as is the case here.

Most kids today have grown up being videoed -- not just the big events but the day to day stuff. And the parents don't just share it with friends and family -- they post it to youtube and count the number of "hits".

I think this sends a dangerous message to kids -- that their life is public property.

I do think we've blurred the lines between public and private.

Sure there have always been bullies and jerks but their impact wasn't so global.

I'm willing to bet that the jerks who did this were always perfectly polite and respectful in real life; they'll probably be described as "nice kids who made a huge mistake".

1 Reply

@boomerang,

Quote:

I disagree that it is the same as teaching your kid face to face respect.

It's very hard to teach a mean person to be kind. If someone likes to be mean, you can teach and teach and teach all you want, but unless they suffer negative repercussions for being mean, that teaching isn't going to make a whole heck of a lot of difference.
These are two mean people who could have sat through four years of courses on internet ethics and gotten a degree in it, and they still would have done something like this.

Quote:

I think people are more willing to do and say things on the internet than they would in real life. Not only is there the anonimity but there is no risk of someone immediately punching them in the nose.

Yeah, that's called being a coward. And a course on internet ethics won't do anything to cure that particular personality disorder/ characteristic either.

Quote:

I think this sends a dangerous message to kids -- that their life is public property

.

I think the more dangerous message being sent to kids here is: society is teaching you that you have an excuse for your cruel behavior now - you can blame your parents and the internet for blurring the line between public and private.
Give me a break - not you - just in general. These were two smart eighteen year old kids. They knew EXACTLY what they were doing to this boy. And they ENJOYED it.

Quote:

I'm willing to bet that the jerks who did this were always perfectly polite and respectful in real life; they'll probably be described as "nice kids who made a huge mistake".

And that's what scares the crap out of me - their 'unwise choice' will be swept under the rug and their 'confusion' brought about by everyone else and the internet will buy their freedom from responsibility and consequences.

These two people weren't confused - they are cruel.
If it was so 'confusing' why isn't it happening all the time on every single college campus in the country? I'll tell you why - because most people know the difference between right and wrong and are not innately cruel - thank god.

If I thought most young people were 'confused' in the way these young people were, I wouldn't want to let my kids out of the house. Thankfully - I know these two are aberrant and don't represent most young people.

I think these two are rotten to the core.
Because again, I'll ask - what did they expect the outcome/result of their fun and games to be? They were actively looking to humiliate this boy - and that's exactly what they did.
They were actively trying to destroy another human being and that's exactly what they did.
They were smart enough to do a good job achieving their objective but not smart enough to not be confused about something so basic as knowing right from wrong?
I don't believe that for a minute.

I won't give them an excuse.

0 Replies

I do agree with Aidan to this extent: this isn't a case of bad manners, on the internet or anywhere else. This is a case of sheer viciousness and emotional sadism on the part of the perpetrators. They probably need counseling and therapy more than prison.

0 Replies

They had a great show on yesterday about "cyber bullying" and I watched it
with my daughter. I also found out that her school has a zero tolerance for
cyber bullying resp. showing pictures/videos on facebook and/or youtube without consent, and complaints to the school will be taken very seriously.

Schools have to make a stand and take disciplinary actions against cyber bullies
and bullies in general, unfortunately from the show we've seen yesterday, the
schools (mostly rural) did very little to help either students or parents.

In one case (small town, Michigan) the parents were long time residents, even
attended the same high school as their son, yet the school did virtually nothing
to help while that kid was bullied for his entire high school years.

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

CalamityJane wrote:

They had a great show on yesterday about "cyber bullying" and I watched it
with my daughter. I also found out that her school has a zero tolerance for
cyber bullying resp. showing pictures/videos on facebook and/or youtube
without consent, and complaints to the school will be taken very seriously.

Schools have to make a stand and take disciplinary actions against cyber bullies
and bullies in general, unfortunately from the show we've seen yesterday, the
schools (mostly rural) did very little to help either students or parents.

In one case (small town, Michigan) the parents were long time residents, even
attended the same high school as their son, yet the school did virtually nothing
to help while that kid was bullied for his entire high school years.

Is it implied in compulsory education laws that complying citizens will be safe ?

It appears that Rutgers U. is more interested in its liability in tort
than it is in providing a safe place to work.

I 'm glad that its records have been subpoenaed (if, in fact, thay have been).

David

0 Replies

Internet ethics

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know