Signing over rights

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I have a child from a previous relationship and since my child was born I have only seen her that one time she is three years old. Since then the mom has moved out of state (without me knowing) and has married. She has brought it up to me in the past to sign over my rights, I refused to do it then, but now i found myself in a bind that supporting my two boys that i have custody of is getting very hard, I cannot afford child support at this time, so instead of getting locked up and since she has brought it up to me in the past I agreed to it now. She is married and mentioned to me that this little girl doesn't know me and the new husband is daddy to her. So I also feel instead of confusing her any more I'll let him be dad. Now the mom won't cooperate. So I need to know how/if I can sign my rights over in the state of Kentucky without the mother's consent (because of her keep changing her mind) and could that stop future child support, and if it does could it stop any rearage? She lives in Indiana. What should I do? What can I do?

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[+4] - Mame - 09/21/2010get a lawyer oh and quit having kids

I'm not a lawyer, but no, I don't believe that you can sign over your child to the state. (Jeez - think how long the line would be)

You must continue to provide child support for her until her mother's new husband wants to adopt her.

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@jennifergamble1,

You can probably assign rights. You can't assign responsibilities.

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@jennifergamble1,

I think if she took you to court they would analyze your income and your responsibilities and assign in her case and maybe reassign in your sons' case, your $$ responsibilities. They can't get blood from a stone and if you've been paying for your children (sons), they'll likely see you are not out to be a dead-beat dad. Get a good lawyer, though. I don't know the precedents where you live.

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@PUNKEY,

that is what i wanted to do, but the mother keeps changing her mind one minute she'll let me the next she won't. I'm doing what is best for my daughter.

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@Mame,

Well this takes place in boone county and I have been paying they said that they don't care that i have custody of my two boys and there is a recession going on.

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@jennifergamble1,

get a lawyer

oh

and quit having kids

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@Mame,

do you know of any that won't break me financially. I've contacted a couple of them and they are asking for 1,000-1500 for a retainer fee. I do not have that.

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@jennifergamble1,

No, sorry... except for Legal Aid.

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@Mame,

they don't do signing over rights. Thank you though. I feel like i'm in a jam I do not know what to do.

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@jennifergamble1,

i'm a little confused, are you a man?

1 Reply

@djjd62,

yes, my fiance set this up for me.

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@jennifergamble1,

okay, maybe give these guys a look

http://www.nationalcenterformen.org/

they deal with men who are denied access or are facing other difficulties in divorce

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@djjd62,

thank you so much. I know i do not know you but i found this link on the web about adoptions do you know any one who has ever used something like this? I just want to make sure it is safe.

1 Reply

@jennifergamble1,

i just heard someone from the organization i linked speak for about an hour on the radio, they seemed to be pretty genuine, but i have no personal experience with them, i'm not even an American (Canadian)

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@djjd62,

ok i've never done that before, i'm just so pissed about how they treat people. I have the child support division looking at me like the bad guy because i fall alittle behind and they act like they know the mom personally, example,how upset she is and she is mad. That kind of stuff.

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@jennifergamble1,

If you're unable to afford the payments, I'd see about revisiting the amount in court. Truly, you shouldn't be falling behind - she could be depending on that money and whole budget (and their activities, etc) could be thrown out of whack. It's just not fair. It's also not fair for you to pay such a huge percentage of your take home pay for support that you can't have a decent life yourself.

I would go to Legal Aid and ask for a hearing. And also to deal with your daughter's mother. It may cost you upfront, but it'll save you in the long run.

We all need to live a decent life.

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In the States, we have Friend of the Court. Find out what your similar court is for child support. That's who you ask to go in front of to get your child support lowered. You will have to prove your income, just like you did before, because that's how your original child support was determined. You do not have to have a lawyer to do this. Petition the court for a hearing in front of the judge or a mediator.

You are also asking how you can encourage your ex to have her husband adopt your daughter. You can't force this. So you are stuck with supporting her until she is adopted.

PS Just because you don't have a "relationship" with your daughter NOW, does not mean that you won't later. Many times, kids seek out their real father for some kind of connection. You can always say that you supported her, at least financially. You will be able to hold your head up about that, at least.

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Signing over rights

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