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Thu 16 Sep, 2010 03:18 pm
Is it fair to arbitrarily increase punishment to your child?
If you were to tell your child that if he or she did a certain sin or mistake, you would implement a certain punishment, and when that infraction took place, you added a number of extra punishment, would you think you were acting in a fair and just manner?
A scenario would go like this.
If you told your son, if you do not make your bed, I will ground you for 2 days.
That same day, he did not or refused to make his bed.
You confront him and say that he is grounded for 2 days. At the same time, you tell him that he is also grounded for a further week and also looses all T V privileges and must also do the dishes for a month.
Do you think you have dealt fairly with your child?
Regards
DL
bummer, you can't watch tv for a week
@Greatest I am,
Not making the bed is the original sin. Refusing to make bed is insubordination, which is additional sinnin'. Lay it on.
Part of my advanced adulthood is to not make my bed unless I've just done the laundry. It turns out to be healthier, to expose the bedding to air (sorry, no link) and can even be the stuff of some famous photography -
click on the url to see the gallery that shows this photo by Imogen Cunningham.
On the matter of arbitrarily increasing punishment, are you trying to raise a robot?
@djjd62,
djjd62 wrote:
bummer, you can't watch tv for a week
Thanks for your judgment.
Regards
DL
@roger,
roger wrote:
Not making the bed is the original sin. Refusing to make bed is insubordination, which is additional sinnin'. Lay it on.
Every sin has some kind of insubordination. if the parent is to stupid in advance to know this then to you it is ok to hide that fact behind more punishment for the child instead of sucking it up himself.
Smooth. Yuk.
Regards
DL
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:
Part of my advanced adulthood is to not make my bed unless I've just done the laundry. It turns out to be healthier, to expose the bedding to air (sorry, no link) and can even be the stuff of some famous photography -
click on the url to see the gallery that shows this photo by Imogen Cunningham.
On the matter of arbitrarily increasing punishment, are you trying to raise a robot?
No, as my children are likely older than you.
Now would you like to offer an answer to the O P?
Regards
DL
If your children are likely older than osso, and living under your roof, you've got bigger problems than beds being made.
My question is;
Why is their "making the beds" (or whatever it is) so important to you?
Is your real goal to teach them responsibility, or is it to let them know that you control them, and can take away their freedom over something that is important to you, but not to them?
If the former is true, there are better ways to teach responsibility.
If the latter is true, than by all means punish them because they are not you.
@Greatest I am,
My question is why would you arbitrarily or otherwise increase the punishment? That doesn't make sense. But, since you asked... the answer is NO. People need boundaries and it isn't fair to anyone to have them moved without notice.
Would you think it's fair if your boss suddenly told you that you have to work 10 extra hours for the same pay?
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
If your children are likely older than osso, and living under your roof, you've got bigger problems than beds being made.
Yeah, that would mean he's a doddering old fool. Oh wait...
I say, make him/her sleep in the bed he didn't make, I bet that would teach him--------------something, I'm not sure what.
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
My question is why would you arbitrarily or otherwise increase the punishment? That doesn't make sense. But, since you asked... the answer is NO. People need boundaries and it isn't fair to anyone to have them moved without notice.
Would you think it's fair if your boss suddenly told you that you have to work 10 extra hours for the same pay?
That was exactly my first thought mame.
What's the message that's sending?
How can your kid trust you, if they never know where they stand?
Next would be "Once you finish up (fill in the blank) we'll go to the movies (not even that the movie would be a reward)"
then "I changed my mind, we're not going to go"
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
If your children are likely older than osso, and living under your roof, you've got bigger problems than beds being made.
My question is;
Why is their "making the beds" (or whatever it is) so important to you?
Is your real goal to teach them responsibility, or is it to let them know that you control them, and can take away their freedom over something that is important to you, but not to them?
If the former is true, there are better ways to teach responsibility.
If the latter is true, than by all means punish them because they are not you.
I am not here and did not pose a simple question looking for simple answer to be drawn into psycho babble.
I am looking for theists and their view and will show the religious relevance when a few are here and have answered this KIS question.
Do so or get lost.
Rest assured, my children left the nest years ago.
Regards
DL
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
My question is why would you arbitrarily or otherwise increase the punishment? That doesn't make sense. But, since you asked... the answer is NO. People need boundaries and it isn't fair to anyone to have them moved without notice.
Would you think it's fair if your boss suddenly told you that you have to work 10 extra hours for the same pay?
No I would not and I agree with your view of not moving boundaries without notice.
Unfortunately, I will have to come down on you, in way, for your answer but ask that you be patient as I would like a few more theist here before explaining.
Regards
DL
@Greatest I am,
This isn't phycho babble, it simply answers the question.
You never said this was supposed to end up a conversation on religion.
That's quite deceptive of you.
"I am not here"?
What does that mean?
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:"I am not here"?
What does that mean?
it means please leave a message after the tone
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
chai2 wrote:
If your children are likely older than osso, and living under your roof, you've got bigger problems than beds being made.
Yeah, that would mean he's a doddering old fool. Oh wait...
We will see who is the fool a bit later if I can get you to be honest with yourself but then again, if you evaluate yourself honestly then I would rescind the foolish part.
As to me, old and cranky with literal reading theists I will accept with pride.
I have good reason to be.
Regards
DL
@dyslexia,
dyslexia wrote:
I say, make him/her sleep in the bed he didn't make, I bet that would teach him--------------something, I'm not sure what.
Most kids I know would not care.
It's been a while but if I recall correctly, I did not.
Care to answer the O P and indicate if you are a theist or not?
Regards
DL
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
This isn't phycho babble, it simply answers the question.
You never said this was supposed to end up a conversation on religion.
That's quite deceptive of you.
"I am not here"?
What does that mean?
It means you did not read the whole sentence.
I will blame my Franglais if you do not understand it though.
Will you answer the question now and indicate if you are a theist or is it still beyond you?
regards
DL
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