What makes a good wife?

There are no good wives. There are no good husbands. There are only good relationships.

I have been married for 6 years and my husband did have Many emotional affairs before.

He was a member of AFF. (Adultfriendfinder). He had flirted and chatted to many women on MSN. I caught him more than 10 times in my first 4 years of marriage. As a result, I lost my trust on him and I was very irritable and always ready to fight with my husband. I used to non-stop complain at him or question him like a police and when I was upset, I was very aggressive. I would shout to him badly.

Then? An even more serious emotional affair came up. He fell love with a woman who was simply able to chat to him for long hours. He complained to that woman about me:

Impatient, selfish, controlling... whatever you can name a bad wife.

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I had flashed back. Yes, I was not a good wife. No man would stand a wife like me.

For 2 years, I have changed myself.

I started to change myself. I speak to him softly with a loving tone. No matter what happens, good or bad times, he has my loving support.

I make sure everyday when he comes home from work, the tabe is nicely set and the meal is tasty and ready. He should only feel relaxed as a husband deserves. No pressure, no questioning, no pushing, no nagging from his wife.

Actually, I didn't do my best but he's happy about my changes.

1. I don't criticize him anymore.
2. I try to minimize my complaints or just don't complain.
3. I watch my tongue and attitude, always polite and soft.
4. I always hug him and tell him I love him whenever I can.

For 2 years, he has rushed home as soon he finished his work. He's been the best husband that I can ever have. The affair problems have gone and nobody would talk or care about them.

I'm the happist wife in the world!

Then why did you choose the nom de net "dumbwife"?

Max's response is perceptive and brief--a rare combination here. But don't tell Max i said so--i wouldn't want him to get the impression that i respect his thinking.

Haha,the name, dumbwife is just for fun!

As a woman, sometimes better be dumb than be too smart.

You won't understand my meaning behind it.

who in their right mind would want someone like that

Told ya! You can't understand my meaning behind it! Only some women can.

djjd ain't a woman.

Yeah . . . he says he ain't . . .

yup, and as a man i can't figure out why i'd want a dumb woman, or rather a women who thinks its better to act dumb rather than smart

intellect aside, i want a women to be herself

You certainly come across as a boorish husband who is trying to, um, enlighten women like his dumb wife about how they SHOULD act by pretending to be one.

But I'd believe you're actually who you say you are.

If your relationship works, it works. Good for you.

If you're trying to make some general statement about how other people should function in their relationships, though, you're whacked.

ok why sometimes should be dumb than too smart.

When a woman is too smart,she wants to argue until she wins.

When a woman is too smart,she wants to be the boss and teach her husband what he should do.

When a woman is too smart, she knows whom her husband has affairs with and she will confront him and ready to fight. (because she is very smart, she knows how to make her husband say sorry on his knees.)

So sometimes, as a woman, better be dumb than be too smart.

Why?

Having a boorish, philandering husband is not really high on my list of goals.

I'd much, much rather be single.

You're really insecure, aren't you?

srsly

I'm sorry if my sharing can't help you. I only share my experiences as reference.

There're some women, who still loves their husbands and need an idea on how to win back their husbands' hearts.

It is not an easy task. It spent me 4 years to get it - when I can't change my man, I changed myself.

I'd love to share my experience with them and wish it helps.

I'm not a professional. Everybody has different problems in marriage and you should search your own method that works.

If my method doesn't work for you, I'm sorry but you have to keep on fighting if you still love your husband,

Although I don't like your word,"pretend," I think you have minsundertood me.

I love my husband. What so wrong if I want to be a better wife that he deserves?

I want to be a better wife and make him the happist husband in the world. If I want to win back my husband's heart, I can't just stay there complaining but doing nothing.

It's not something you can just "pretend."

but why can't he be the husband you deserve, a marriage isn't one side gives and the other takes

if you're happy great (i guess), but it seems to have come at your expense only

not my idea of an ideal situation

You are right. Every woman gets married not wishing their husbands to cheat on them one day.

Human beings make mistakes, it's not something so shameful. I ain't perfect, either.

Of course, if you don't even have a husband, you don't need to continue my discussion- what makes a good wife.

Just curious... say I am not married (I may be, I may not be).

How does that affect your opinion of me?

And why?