What makes a good wife?

smart, funny, self confident, those things would be the basics to me

If overating my idea can only help just 1 married wife. It's still a good thing to do. I'm sorry my idea can't help you. Why don't you tell ppl your ideas instead of attacking me? If that makes you feel better, I can forgive your offensive comments.

I'm sure it's because BVT put his 2 cents in here. What do the hamsters know, anyway?

Some people aren't marriage material; it's to dj's credit that he ended both the cheating and the relationship. Why does a husband (or wife) cheat? Regardless of why, it's not a nice thing to do to your partner and that says a lot about the cheater.

I agree that you've basically subjugated yourself to your husband's perceived needs, but see that you may also have changed your attitude, although, as soz asked you, is it real or fake and how long can you keep it up?

The thing is, did he ever tell you why he cheated? Why were you aggressive and swearing at him? Did you never discuss this? Why did he marry you (and vice versa) in the first place?

What makes a good wife? The same thing that makes a good husband. I'm sure if you think about it long enough, you can figure it out.

I really disliked your comments about being nice all the time, serving tasty meals to him the minute he gets home, etc. You're doing the traditional 1950's type of things which I think is bullshit. A) That's not necessarily what men want, and b) there's nothing wrong with wanting to prepare him a meal, but ****, don't you have days where you want to NOT cook, eat cheese and crackers instead, or suggest going out? Or - heaven preserve us - maybe you could suggest HE cook for you?

That's reality. Can your fake relationship withstand that?

If you are grossly offended, as your remarks suggest, at being told that you apprently have low self-esteem, i can only assume that the comment comes too close to the truth for you. If you had a high self-esteem, you would't care what i had suggested about your character.

It seems to me that English is not your native language, and that makes it difficult to understand just what it is that you mean to say. Nevertheless, it is obvious that you have a jaundiced view of what constitutes a good relationship, and i say that because you apparently think that no good relationship can exist in which a woman is self-possessed and self-assertive. That only makes for a poor relationship with a man who himself has a poor self-image, and is insecure.

good editing.

agreed

Sorry it's my bad. I didn't tell you that actually my husband was the one who cooked. When I became a better wife, I learnt cooking and i'm happy to see my husband eat what I cook. I told him it's my love for him. He didn't ask me to and he always wanted to cook for me. Sometimes we also dine at restaurant.
I'm a chinese and yes i'm a bit old tradition. I will do whatever to make him happy. I know he loves me, when he had affairs, he was lost and confused, he admitted his mistakes and he would do whatever to save our marriage. I always forgave him, and I also admitted my bads and changed myself to be a better person. It's my duty because i'm his wife. Why not?
My love for him is unconditional.
If he gets tempted again in the future, as long as he still loves me, I will never give up our marriage. If you criticise me 100 times that I have incurable disease, my decision will be the same.

Btw, english is not my native language, sorry if I made mistakes.

Is your husband Chinese, too?

My incurable disease has saved my marriage? Hahaha. Nice one!

My husband is italian. Ciao!

Sorry, I don't really get what you mean...
I don't understand your complicated views of what makes a good relationship. Maybe you want to make more clear?

OK thanks. Just trying to figure out the cultural context.

Your English is quite good btw. Much, much better than my Chinese.

Why he married me? Lol, because he was in love with me, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.
Why he had affairs? He was bored in the office and I was a boring wife. Yes, I was. He was looking for some excitement and refreshment and he said he was not serious with any women. It's just for fun.
He didn't do it for 2 years will he do again? Will I be a boring wife in the future? Or will he be a boring husband instead? I assaure you that yes and yes. Temptation is everywhere and there will be crisis and difficult time in marriage every now and then. That's why there's a English word called, Overcome. Perfect spouse doesn't just fall from the skies.

Sounds like you know it all, DW, so why come here and ask?

That you make mistakes is not a problem, certainly nothing to apologize for. However, it does mean that it isn't always clear what you are tying to say.

It ought to have been evident what i consider a good relationship. One in which both partners have respect for themselves, and for one another. Any relationship in which one or both partners have low self-esteem is going to have problems, and one of the partners could end up in a subordinate relationship to a domineering mate. If both partners have a low self esteem, they are likely to fight and torment one another. If both partners have good self esteem, they can work out any problems, and spend most of their time enjoying one another's company.

I think I should make a conclusion on my dumb wife method. You can always win back your husband if he still loves you, there's always hope. 1. Forgive and forget. 2. Don't be a boring nagging wife.
3. Always be fun and loving.
4. Don't criticise your husband and make him lose face in public.
5. Be supportive to his work and dreams.
6. Don't be paranoid, don't over jealous.
7.Talk. Don't shout.
8. Always hug and kiss.
9. Complian wisely.
10. Allow him has different thinking and personal space.

Thanks very much for the good comments!

I don't know all as you said.

Ideas to lose your husband quickly. If you are,
1. everything must win.
2. I first, I want, I everything
3. Stubborn and selfish
4. Controlling freak and freaky jealous.