Funniest scene in a movie...

Mr Stillwater
Reply Wed 23 Jun, 2004 05:40 pm
PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
GUARD #4: [chuckling]
PILATE: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that.
BRIAN: Can I go now, sir?
Aaah! Eh.
PILATE: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.
GUARD #4: [chuckling]
PILATE: Wight! Take him away!
CENTURION: Oh, sir, he-- he only--
PILATE: No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.
CENTURION: Yes, sir. Come on, you.
GUARD #4: Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Hooo hooo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo...
PILATE: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...
GUARD #1: [chuckling]
PILATE: ...Dickus?
GUARD #1: [chuckling]
PILATE: What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name...
GUARD #3: [chuckle]
PILATE: ...'Dickus'?
GUARD #1 and GUARD #2: [chuckling]
PILATE: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.
GUARDS: [laughing]
PILATE: Stop! What is all this?
GUARDS: Ha, ha ha ha ha ha...
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Reply Wed 23 Jun, 2004 06:10 pm
Okay, I'm convinced -- have to buy the DVD.
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Mr Stillwater
Reply Wed 23 Jun, 2004 07:40 pm
L-wiz you have just reminded me. I have made one purchase of a DVD. Seeing I don't have a DVD player makes it a little pointless, but I can wait....

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Mr Stillwater
Reply Wed 23 Jun, 2004 07:44 pm

"By the power invested in me by the Hon Gov Petomane...."
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Mr Stillwater
Reply Wed 23 Jun, 2004 07:45 pm

'HEDLEY Lamarr!!'
'Hey, it's 1885 - you can SUE her
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Mr Stillwater
Reply Wed 23 Jun, 2004 07:48 pm

'I'm tired, tired of love uninspired...

I've been with hundreds of men, again and again
They sing the same tune
They're always going and coming, and coming and going
and always too soon....'
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Reply Thu 24 Jun, 2004 06:24 am
I believe the new release of "Blazing Saddles" is digitally restored and the reproduction is pristine.
DVD players have come down dramatically but make sure you buy a progressive scan model. This will only improve the picture if one hooks up to the three cable component hook-ups on their TV. It's nearly as good as hi def especially if it is a super bit reproduced movie.

With this release and an upcoming reissue of "Young Frankenstein," two of the funniest movies every made.
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Reply Sat 26 Jun, 2004 01:16 pm
only three have had me in tears.

the python's life of brian..."bigguth dickuth" already mentioned,

and the scenes in something about mary

1. the penis stuck in the zipper scene.

2. the scene where matt dillon gives the doggie a downer then has to jump starts the dog's heart with the electrical cords from the lamp which in turn causes the dog to catch on fire. oh sweet jesus, that was hysterical.
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Earthbound Angel
Reply Mon 5 Jul, 2004 05:22 am
I can't believe no one has mentioned "The Jerk."
The scene where Steve Martin's character finally 'gets rhythm' while listening to a white radio station.

"The Lord loves a workin' man, don't trust whitey, and if you catch it see a doctor."

The scene where he's waiting on the guys with the stolen credit card...'Mrs.Nuesbaum."

(geesh, practically any scene in that movie!)
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Reply Mon 5 Jul, 2004 02:37 pm
"Incontinentia BUTTOCKS!"

"Wewease BWIAN!"


"It's just one waffer thin mint..."
Hee hee!

FISH #5: Oh, ****! It's Mr. Creosote.

MAITRE D: Ah, good afternoon, sir, and how are we today?


MAITRE D: Better?

MR. CREOSOTE: Better get a bucket. I'm going to throw up.

MAITRE D: Uh, Gaston! A bucket for monsieur. There you are, monsieur.


Merci, Gaston.

MR. CREOSOTE: I haven't finished.

MAITRE D: Oh! Pardon. Gaston! A thousand pardons, monsieur.



MAITRE D: Now, zis afternoon, we have monsieur's favourite: ze jugged hare. Ze hare is very high, and ze sauce is very rich with truffles, anchovies, Grand Marnier, bacon, and cream. Thank you, Gaston.

MR. CREOSOTE: There's still more.

MAITRE D: Oh! Allow me. A new bucket for monsieur,...


...and ze cleaning woman,... and maintenant. Would monsieur care for an aperitif, or would he prefer to order straight away?



MAITRE D: Uh, today we have, uh, for appetizers: Excuse me. Mhmm. Uh, moules marinieres, pate de foie gras, beluga caviar, eggs Benedictine, tart de poireaux-- that's leek tart,-- frogs' legs amandine, or oeufs de caille Richard Shepherd-- c'est a dire, little quails' eggs on a bed of pureed mushroom. It's very delicate. Very subtle.

MR. CREOSOTE: I'll have the lot.

MAITRE D: A wise choice, monsieur. And now, how would you like it served? All, uh, mixed up togezer in a bucket?

MR. CREOSOTE: Yeah,... with the eggs on top.

MAITRE D: But of course, avec les oeufs frites.

MR. CREOSOTE: Yeah, and don't skimp on the pate.

MAITRE D: Oh, monsieur, I assure you, just because it is mixed up wis all ze other things, we would not dream of giving you less than ze full amount. In fact, I will personally make sure you have a double helping. Maintenant quelque chose a boire. Something to drink, monsieur?

MR. CREOSOTE: Yeah, I'll have six bottles of Chateau Latour Forty-five...

MAITRE D: Forty-five.

MR. CREOSOTE: ...and a double Jeroboam of champagne.

MAITRE D: Bon, and the usual brown ales?

MR. CREOSOTE: Yeah. No, wait a minute. I think I can only manage six crates today.

MAITRE D: [tut tut tut tut] I hope monsieur was not overdoing it last night.

MR. CREOSOTE: Shut up!

MAITRE D: D'accord. Ah! Ze new bucket and ze cleaning woman.

[goosh goosh goosh goosh]

Monsieur, is there something wrong with the food?

GUEST #4: No, the food was excellent.

MAITRE D: Perhaps you're not... happy with the service?

GUEST #4: No, no. No complaints.

GUEST #4'S WIFE: It's just that we have to go. I'm having rather a heavy period.

GUEST #3: Hmm.

GUEST #3'S WIFE: Mm mm.

GUEST #4: And... we... have... a... train to catch.


GUEST #4'S WIFE: Oh. Yes. Yes, of course. We have a train to catch, and I don't want to start bleeding all over the seats. Ha, hm hm hm.

MAITRE D: Madam?

GUEST #4: Perhaps we should be going.


MAITRE D: Oh! Very well, monsieur. Thank you so much. So nice to see you, and I hope very much we will see you again very soon. Au revoir, monsieur.


Oh, dear. I have trodden in monsieur's bucket.

GUESTS: [mumbling]


MAITRE D: Another bucket for monsieur,...


...and perhaps a hose. M-hm.

MAX: [retch]

MAX'S WIFE: Oh, Max. Really!

GUEST #2: [hiccup]

MR. CREOSOTE: [groaning]

MAITRE D: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.


MAITRE D: Oh, sir, it's only a tiny, little, thin one.

MR. CREOSOTE: No. **** off. I'm full.

MAITRE D: Oh, sir. Hmm?

MR. CREOSOTE: [groan]

MAITRE D: It's only wafer thin.

MR. CREOSOTE: Look. I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.

MAITRE D: Oh, sir, just-- just one.

MR. CREOSOTE: [groaning] All right. Just one.

MAITRE D: Just the one, monsieur. Voila.

MR. CREOSOTE: [groaning]

MAITRE D: Bon appetit.

MR. CREOSOTE: [groaning]

[suspenseful music]

[music stops]






MAITRE D: Thank you, sir, and now, here's ze check.

I just had to do that.
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