The Evolution of Liberals and Conservatives.

I saw this on another site and well I just can't help my self. Enjoy.

Evolution of Liberals and Conservatives


Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to
be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages
were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as "girlie men".

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals were symbolized by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like light beer (sometimes with lime added), but most
prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like
their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal
fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals also invented the designated hitter
rule because it was not fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives tend to drink micro brew beer. They also eat red meat and
still provide
for their women and families.

Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers,
corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works
productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives
who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept
in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get
more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a
Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and forward immediately
just for the heck of it.


courtesy of charles adler

Well feel free to enlighten me but the phrase "Sterio type" exist for a reason, and the left or liberals fit most of the above.

the divergence of liberals and conservatives started much much earlier...there was a common ancestor...Lucy....which later diverged into Neanderthals and Cro-Magnon....Neanderthals were rumored to have died out, but, lo and behold, they have emerged as Conservatives...as modern man progressed in to liberals, the saviour of the species.

Really who's been supporting the liberals since then aaronssongs? LOL it sucks but it's the truth, we earn it you fellas spend it on social experiments that don't work. Ouch damn liberals just stuck their hands in my pocket for cash again.

Please feel free to enlighten us exactly where you fit...because there is no such thing as "sterio type"...the word is stereotype.
Why is it that quite a few of the conservatives/Repubs/right wingers have a problem with spelling? Is it that they didn't do well in school...or perhaps, like George Bush, they were given "a pass", when they hardly deserved it?
What's up with that? Because I have had folk come after me about my writing ability and my punctuation, while others, here, could barely spell "punctuation". A whole bevy of pots calling kettles....

Nice rhetoric, to bad there's no real substance other than incorrect blanket generalization.

Please feel free to enlighten us exactly where you fit...because there is no such thing as "sterio type"...the word is stereotype.
Why is it that quite a few of the conservatives/Repubs/right wingers have a problem with spelling? Is it that they didn't do well in school...or perhaps, like George Bush, they were given "a pass", when they hardly deserved it?
What's up with that? Because I have had folk come after me about my writing ability and my punctuation, while others, here, could barely spell "punctuation". A whole bevy of pots calling kettles....

Really who's been supporting the liberals since then aaronssongs? LOL it sucks but it's the truth, we earn it you fellas spend it on social experiments that don't work. Ouch damn liberals just stuck their hands in my pocket for cash again.

Nice rhetoric, to bad there's no real substance other than incorrect blanket generalization.

I believe when you do it you call it poetic license.

Shirly you are joking, you can almost manage to eek out a a readable paragraph and you jumb me for putting a space between a word. Really what a nasty arsehole you are. I'm Canadian we spell a number of words different from you. We have our own version of Englais or English. Honestly for someone trying to pass himself off as an Educated Literate writer you do a very poor job. Oh you sound just like a typical liberal, snot and bawling but barely able to articulate what you are screaming about. Tisk, tisk, useless idiot comes to my grey matter.

Republicans were made by God, as specified in the Old Testament. Liberals evolved from apes, as proven by Darwin.

Shirly you are joking, you can almost manage to eek out a a readable paragraph and you jumb me for putting a space between a word. Really what a nasty arsehole you are. I'm Canadian we spell a number of words different from you. We have our own version of Englais or English. Honestly for someone trying to pass himself off as an Educated Literate writer you do a very poor job. Oh you sound just like a typical liberal, snot and bawling but barely able to articulate what you are screaming about. Tisk, tisk, useless idiot comes to my grey matter.