@xris,
She had everywhere to go, but just no place that would have her and give her a clean blanket.
Who says beggars dont earn what they get?
Your hips need to dig and with a hard surface they wake up screaming, is it worse for womens hips than for mens? But being homeless means she probably has little weight on her hips to cushion the impact.
I would say you are an optimist if you think that the homeless (general) stick together, but your story needed to illustrate the girl was not alone just because she had no choice, she was alone because she had one and still chose to be alone. She had to be homeless? she was alone, she had not a home.
You could give her a counterpart, someone who is like her but does not want to be alone, who she still moves away from,
'he always stood because his paperback was always in his back pocket and he only sat down to read, he only sat to be alone so was always standing when they would meet',
But i understand that you dont want to give her this 'counterpart' this hope that he might have followed her to the crypt, he might notice she was gone and would come looking for her, i understand why you wouldn't want this. Or he might come looking for her, but the tragedy of this could be deeper, because she turned this boy and possible saviour away. Maybe she was mean to him, maybe she really hurt him, and we think for her 'if only you could have said yes to his company, at least if we were both trapped we would not die alone'.
But the point as i describe this to you you make even clearer is that because she could not be part of the crowd, be part of something a home, she is alone and will die so.
Well met.
If the police and society had either let her be or helped her out she would not have to die this way.
'but that didn't matter' society didn't matter, they didn't care for her so why should they matter?
Reminds me a little of Poe, but cant remember which?
Where ever i lay my mat thats my home.
I want to ask your permission to write about the candles.
Did she save any for her last nights?
Perhaps all she had left was a nub of one, when will she use this last light?
Maybe you could say her lighter even ran out the night before, so she has this nub of a candle but cant light it.
'I even read my horror book' The girl is defiant even against the dead and dreadful. I like this she had attitude, is it her attitude that kills her?
No she has no candles left, you make this clear.
'Who says i dont get spooked'
Funny, a little to funny. This says she has either come to terms, is a ghost, or has gotten free. Do you want the last to have any hope? a joke is hope.
It does not lend to the panic and fear she must be facing, or has she faced it and finds comfort in that she will die as she has lived, alone.
She at least has a little light and time to find out whos tomb she was sharing and would become hers.
She would be the only ghost that the graveyard has.
Graveyards are rarely haunted.
This one now would be.
She has finaly found her home.
