The Philosophical Dialog

Azacus: Perhaps it isn't the clothes that define the person, but the clothes that represent the persons beliefs.

Philosoforus: Is that not what defining is?

Azacus Raises a finger as a rhetorical device to aide his point

Azacus: Philosoforus, my befuddled friend, the clothes don't determine the nature of Darkonius' beliefs, they are merely an outward representation of his beliefs. He would still hold his beliefs if he were naked.

Darkonius casts a sideways glance at Azacus

Darkonius:Azacus:Philosoforus: Could it be, Azacus, that you have better view than Darkonius on the superficial definition of an inner being, the thing beneath the clothes?

From his place at the pub, Drunkentius over hears the three's conversation. Being without immediate company, he moves toward the group.

Drunkentius: What a sight you three make! Babbling on about inner being and costume - as if the two are related. Be merry, and do not worry yourselves over trivial concerns. A man's attire might have many influences, his own desire and taste often having no influence at all.

Drunkentius legs are having a hard time supporting the man, so he takes a seat on the steps beside Philophorus and swills down the rest of his beverage

Philosoforus: Perhaps, Drunkentius, that sweet necter of yours has clouded your judgement, how better to pass the time then sitting around with friends waxing philosophic.

Drunkentius: I will show you a better way to pass the time.

At this, Drunkentius stands up to leave and points towards the brothel... only to fall down on Philosoforus.

Drunkentius: Perhaps I should not leave, where were we again?

LOL! Juggling four fictional characters in a single conversation with different authors! Good stuff!

Azacus: Drunkentius... I believe we were talking about superficial appearances and the its influence on the thing within it.

Drunkentius stumbles about and sits down on a nearby ledge.

Philosoforus: How fascinating that we should talk about superficial attributes and the substance underneath. Does this not sound similar to that Philosopher from across the city? Aristotle I believe it was. He had said something about the inner substance of a thing being completely independent of the predicable substances applied to it.

Darkonius: I think you stretch the conversation too far Philosophicus. There is hardly any deeper meaning to something as obvious as a persons dress.

Azacus: Now that you mention this Aristotle, I think I have seen him before... Yes, he's that prick that always told the great Plato how wrong he was.

sluring his speech:
Drunkentius: Philsofors, perhaps you can ecxpound on the inner substance-you speak-of

Azacus: Drunkentius, you surprisingly make a good point: How can the inner substance of a thing be completely independent of the predictable substances applied to it?

Drunkentius: Oh what delightfully sissy girls you all are *hick*; how vain you are, talking about appearances and dressing up!

Darkonius: I am not a girl!

Philosoforus: Yes, me neither; let's get back shall we? My two cents is that, following Aristotle and that delightful chap Kierkegaard, the inner is not the outer, and the outer is not the inner! The appearance of that thing is not the same as the thing itself, wouldn't you all agree?

Darkonius: One day there will be a science that shows how the light emitted by a burning substance emits a characteristic spectrum - and furthermore, that light reflected from an object moving away from the observer is shifted toward the red end of the spectrum, and moving towards one, the blue end.

Drunkentius: Hah, hah, he's gone most entertainingly mad! *hick* Let us entertain oursleves then. Tell us more Darkonius. What will this science show?

Darkonius: In three lines or less, I could not. Perhaps you might consider it?

Philosoforus: Well I might give it a go; let me have that, Drunkentius!

Philosoforus takes Drunkentius' empty glass and holds it to the light. Tilting the glass accordingly, a mini color spectrum shows up on the floor.

Philosoforus: Ah see, through this glass you see the white light being separated into different colours! This shows that light is composed of these colours. And to answer your question Drunkentius, this science will show how guys can impress chicks!

Darkonius: That's right. The chicks will be well impressed by the inferrence that perception is accurate to reality. It will be better than a flash chariot in that respect.

Philosoforus: Or a corduaroy toga.


Darkonius: Don't be dissin' me toga Phil or you lookin to get stabbed up good like that Musonicus fool.

Azacus: Enough with the blasted toga already; I want to talk about the most important question known to mankind: Betty or Veronica?

Drunkentius: Even the Gods could not quarrel on that question! Clearly, the answer is Veronica. Cracking a smile Though, this lady Darkonius is rather attractive, too.

[These characters have so much insight into reality that it makes me want to go sit in the Rationalists' camp!]

Smashing through the doors, a gruff, sinister looking individual walked in. With one punch, he laid Drunkentius down for the count. The other three individuals stepped back with pause.

Mysterious Stranger: Listen up, I am your new leader; if anyone's got a problem with that...

Azacus: I do, by what right do you assert your authority over us?

Mysterious Stranger: This. *Mysterious Stranger flexing his muscles and fists*

Drunkentius, scattered by the blow, raises his head

Drunkentius: Well, stranger, I didn't think we had a leader. But I tell you what, buy me another drink and you'll have my support. Make it two drinks - you owe me for the blow.

Mysterious Stranger: One drink you shall have, but not two. The mean between excess and deficiency is what you must seek.

Azacus: So, it is you.

With a sinister grin:
Aristotle: Yes, it is I. You say Plato is great, but none shall reign as I will. For centuries I will be known as "The Philosopher". My theories and discoveries will stop the wheel of progress and all will bow to my intellect!

With this, Aristotle raises a finger, and society bows.

Drunkentius: When did you start employing violent practices? I think someone is trying to compensate for a particular deficiency....

Aristotle: I'm just demonstrating my theory of the four causes. The material cause is blood, bone and flesh, the formal cause is my fist, the efficient cause is my right hook, and the final cause is Drunkentius' swollen jaw.

Drunkentius: Couldn't you have used another example?!?!

Aristotle: What type of philosopher would I be if I didn't demonstrate my theory in the real world? A Hegelian?!

Darkonius: I should say you are described by the formal cause of your actions - more of a pugalist than a philosopher, post-hoc rationalizations aside, a boxer in a corduroy toga.

Azacus: Not the toga again! What is it with this bloody toga?

[Philoforus raised a finger as if he had something to say, but Aristotle cut him off.]

Aristotle: Another demonstration is immanent and will transcend the the mastery this slave to drink was shown. [Aristotle looked thoughtful a moment.] Perhaps I am a hegalian!

Socato:And thy pulls out thou holy hand grenade, and destroys thus bar room. Ha ha ha! See you in 5311 Aristotle.