"The Essence of Life."

"The Essence of Life"
Greetings and good tidings to all. Today's study & oberservation is about the essence of life. After reading this i would like to hear what do you think? This is a deep and convening matter that we'll look into and discuss. Here is the story that G-d has given me.

Chapter 1 of a Storybook story: tales of real life
I am about to share very intimate details into my life not for your respect, appreciation, or recognition for my ego I am doing it because I hope it inspires you for change. I enjoy telling stories. Really really this is a true story. Just a little background. Raised in Christian home. Went to church most my childhood. Very sheltered, very shy most my life. I was made fun of alot by kids because I was quiet. In that day they were always talking about something and laughed at me why didn't I? I listened, I observed, I learned, better that way. I always worried about what to say, something fun something sweet I was a wannabe of social need. Didn't have my own thoughts I was passive and just repeated stuff I heard before. Sometimes my own friends made fun of me because I didn't say anything for like 3 hours at a big social. They thought it was comical. Now the tables have turned, I could talk for 3 hours strait without blinking an eye. It used to be all about me in the music and my story but there was never a conclusion I was stuck on fossil fusion or dream dancing I thought? This is no longer my story it is G-d's there's always a conclusion with him in fact I could just stop there if I wanted to. Not before nope I just kept going kept going almost like the energizer bunny or something. You see I was a problem child, a black sheep in the family, the bad son, I was a prodigy I thought because I was determined to be bad and live free. Well I believe the prodigy came true as I just really grasped this concept last night and put it all together. It came true for me what do you think? Oh right first let's go deeper so you can better understand. I knew better I was raised right told what was wrong. But still I rebelled and refused to commit myself to the Lord and instead commited in the range of 10,000 sins all while knowing most of what is forbidden. I went berserk, I didn't care about G-d at that point. So anyway I was a raving dancer, a drug craving druggie, a stealing fiend, a mindless porno freak, a man of pure pride and vanity an anti-christ wannabe. (I did believe I was the Anti-christ for a while) The reason I realize this now is because I am a prodigy and the enemy twisted this into my thinking I was going to overturn the world by my dancing. I even tried to sell my soul to the D-vil for 70,000 cash and a car so I could party till the end of time. I bragged about my dancing like I was the best you'd ever seen the real slim shady you see. I was all like I have left family,friends,jobs,residance,religion all to keep on partying if something interfeared I was off on a warpath taking every risk possible to make it to the next event I was certainly determined to have my "freedom" after I saw the movie braveheart it gave me courage to do what it takes to make it there but I wasn't being courageous but just running away from my problems. I sometimes risked it all I would run away from home just to get to one party for one night and have no idea where I would go after that. One time I walked back to my hometown from a party 50 miles to get back from a friends house. I would even run away from the homeless shelter since I couldn't go back home I stayed at the shelter and I even left that to go to a party since I had curfew. After that I was sleeping in bushes that still didn't stop me from going everything was against me. I stole to make it by the skin on my teeth.
Here is the prodigy. Get ready.

Chapter 2: pages from inside the life of an oracle.
Partied for 7yrs and started dancing from my first party "Big Sound". During that time I went to around 200-250 events,parties, clubs. I eventually had my own personal dj and I danced to techno and dance music. My name was Sapphire. I wrote poems about "Sapphire's Nile" and 'Trajikk's Havok" (My Djs name was Trajikk) He is still in colorado he is a resident dj at the club "The Church" in downtown denver. He is Asian I used to think Asians were the coolest race and then blacks and then us whites. One night on August 2003 I went to a rave called "Xion" named after and themed after my favorite movie "Matrix" produced by Pureform Atmospheres. I partied for 3yrs at that point and I was turned off by a set I heard by a mainstream dj who is very famous Paul Oakenfold who just put on a bunch of commercial hits and it really ticked me off to djs greed and massive pride. I was undone with the dj scene but I gave it one more chance. I wrote a poem of nothing but 70 techno titles to songs it was a work of art. I would recite all of it but my personal copy was stolen. I only remember the first and last lines sorry.
"People of tomorrow Come together in a dream In techno we trust
Your phantom of the opera is here please welcome the Heart of Asia Silver saturn!"

I decided to name it "Xion poem" and I would only give to a dj if they "touched me" if no one touched me emotionally with their music that was going to be my last party ever. I went up to the dj booth where they were selling cds of local djs for bottom prices "like $5 a pop" and there was a guy named trajikk and blend on the cds, well little did I know blend was behind the counter talking to me and Trajikk (John Lee) was in the back room. I thought to myself all this big name djs are selling cds for $20 in stores on record labels and here this guy is asking for next to nothing it impressed me to the point I wanted to meet this "trajikk" well I asked the guy behind the counter "blend" if I could talk to him he went to get him. This was an amazing sequence of events if it wouldn't have happened I don't think I would be the same person no I know I wouldn't be the same. This changed my life in a moment. So this is what then really impressed me. A dj local who doesn't have much of a name for himself comes out and immediately comes out behind the counter and instantly shakes my hand it was like time stopped that moment was so intense it's hard to describe it. He said a few words and I told him I had something for him, I reached into my pocket and before even hearing this guys music I gave him the poem he had "touched me" and renewed my belief in djs. It was infatuation from day one. If you want you can see his website on djtrajikk.com. From then on I followed him,adored him, looked after him, bought him expensive gifts ($300 white gold necklace that was specially made with the letters DJ) a dragon heart necklace ($30) since he is a part of a party production company called "triad dragons" and also "floorbangrs" I wrote a poem exclaiming that I was giving him my heart. I was his #1 fan he even admitted that. That night at Xion he started throwing out stuffed animals and cds and all kinds of stuff I could tell there was something brewing in the potter's kitchen. Eventually I dubbed myself "Sapphire" because I was going overboard with Silver Saturn and like leveling up or something by saying to Trajikk now I am super slick and soon to be super slick, skillfully sly, silver saturn. So because it was getting crazy I dubbed myself "sapphire" after meeting my dj and called it good.

Chapter 3: Through the looking glass of the white&black rabbit.
As I enthralled myself more and more into the music since I had a new dj and a new name I was regenerated and my growth propelled at lightning speed and became something of a prodigy here's why. G-d was always there directing my path. About 5yrs into it I started to develop a rythm and technique and about 6yrs I had a method of dancing at 7yrs I was top notch. Here is some of what people said to me.
"The way you dance is like poetry in motion." "OMG that's F-n sick did you see that?" "That's the sickest thing I have ever seen!" "I love watching you dance sapphire." "You think that's air you're breathing now?" "You can't leave the circle until we give you props." "50 heads knock to understand one." "We're calling someone here." "Don't stop dancing." "You have passion don't ever lose that!" (erik a promoter dj who claimed to be a christian) "Straitedge is going to challenge you." (the best local dancer) "Dude you're eyes look like a galaxy." (a hippe on the street). "Jon you're so deep." (a philosophy student named larry) I got on stange once and started dancing and people were going crazy. At a rave about 25% people are dancing and others are watching sometimes they draw a big circle so people have room to breakdance or pop. These styles are from the 80's during the funk and disco era though and were borught into the dance scene by veterans. Eventually in the dance scene it evolved from popping to liquid popping in the mid-90's it has gone to became very popular and very mainstream. When I started dancing I wanted to Liquid Pop but could never learn to pop. So I just danced and danced and danced. Eventually I created my own style from practicing, learning and observing. I told myself.
"I am the best." "No one can dance like me." "I am an essence." "I can beat anyway because they dance all the same."
Here's the prodigy. Sapphire couldn't learn to pop but it was outdated anyway he could only flow and do liquid. Eventually my dancing had become "Boxed Fluid." the reverse of Liquid Pop. Popping is not a fluid motion it is actually stopping mid-way through the move and constricting muscles which only appears to be liquid but it is just an illusion. That's why it is better for poppers to wear long sleeved coats and jackets to illuminate the illusion. a form of liquid that is less popular is flowing naturally to look like fluid. these are the liquid kids who can't pop.

Liquid dancing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Liquid dancing (or Liquid) is an illusion based form of gestural, interpretive dance that sometimes involves aspects of pantomime. The term invokes the word liquid to describe the fluid-like motion of the dancer's body and appendages. It is primarily the dancer's arms and hands which are the focus, though more advanced dancers work in a full range of body movements. Liquid dancing has many moves in common with popping, born out of 80s b-boy and funk style dance movements.

Look it up on youtube "liquid pop" you'll see what it looks like and what I am talking about. However my style was "Boxed Fluid" this is not popular, mainstream, or even understood by except me, G-d and now well you hopefully as well. The reason why I was the white and black rabbit was because I wore ALOT of black and white dancing clothes and even had a black glove and a white glove a white and black vest, a white and black shirt and colored my hair silver (mixture of white and black)

Chapter 4: Down the rabbit hole a journey beyond limits
As I began to dance with passion in fashion with my new name, new dj, eventually I had a new style and a new look as well. I started to color my hair green,blue,yellow,white. And match my outfits accordingly. Eventually I got even more crafty and colored my hair two colors at once blue&red, white&blue, yellow&green. I spiked my hair and just colored the tips on a one night stand hair product it looked alot like bleached blonde hair that has grown out with only the tips left but only better.

As I was saying Boxed Fluid is creating boxed like angles, figures, and jestures through a liquid motion that appears to be a fluid that is boxed. I never could pop so I was envious of the poppers because I respected them so highly. Since I could only do liquid flowing I started to create boxed like moves to imitate the poppers since I couldn't officially pop I took after them and the poppers imitated the liquid by flowing. Here's the revelation of my dancing I created and G-d harnessed the creation. He harnessed it because ultimately I was lead to G-d out of it. G-d allowed my dancing to flourish because if it hadn't I would probably still be in the scene trying to perfect it but since I did mostly I started to think and realize other things that were revealed. After my true friends Joe died another dancer on his way to a party in september 05 in a car crash I started to realize something in life. "No matter how much fun I had in one night eventually it all turned into a memory." "My memory can even become jaded losing sight of my experiences." "Life is about love not music& dancing" Since I found my dancing self I started to search for my spiritual self which G-d intended and as you know rescued me from myself. I was so entranced into my dancing I said "I will never stop dancing!" I screamed for fusion and talked about life in the music. I was so enfused I ended of being confused about reality and lived a fantasy. People stole my moves, took my poems, stole a journal, someone even claimed to be me! As I walked by a peer in the scene he said "Hey Sapphire!" I realized it was the one guy I told that helped me come up with that name and he took it from me well he can have I told him later on. People drew pictures of me and called me "Holy ****, Carefree and Gumby." I became too good for my own good and actually my dancing reached it's peak I re-named myself Gravity because I felt people were drawn to me it was my last chance at a new. It didn't work I still missed being "Saff" and my passion started to die I turned into what I hated "routine" you see the difference between me was I created all my own moves but used a few basic moves people taught me my first night. People recognized me they said "You have stoped creating your own moves saff and started a routine." I knew it deep down and this was very close the end of my rave life. So I danced routine for a very short while my dancing self started to die off as I searched more and more for my spiritual self. I started to go into parties thinking "G-d isn't happy with this I'm doing." I looked at people dancing at a new light "They aren't just dancing something else is controlling them something e-vil they seemed like puppets on a string trying to trick you into their swing. I met a guy named Nature and he taught me alot about the scene but that still wasn't enough for me. I started to listen to the songs they said "God is love I don't love him." "God created the heavens and the earth." "I may not make it to the promised land."


Chapter 5:Stepping into the great beyond finding God
As my dancing catapulted in the a city of hedonism and sin i felt like I belonged to something like I was apart of something great. I was always trying to escape and not face reality by just eating another pill of ecstasy or another drop of acid or another druken escapade of hedonism. I had two japenese break dancers ask me to be in their crew because I went into a big circle for my first time and they wouldn't let me leave until they gave me props which is a huge compliment. They critiqued my dancing and tried to push me to the max and then dissappeared in a flash. I then was introduced to the one guy that changed me for the rest of my life. I was 20 at the time and about 4 years in the scene. I was introduced to him because I was considered a risk factor and a kid who just wouldn't grow up. I met Matt he called himself LD (short for Liquid Dreams) and we went on to live with each other for 3 years the rest of my dancing days. What I would experience and learn during that time would take me to the next level of dancing and lead me to spirtuality. Matt taught me alot about life. When I meet him I was still a kid who didn't want to grow up and said "I'll never stop partying." his goal was to prove to me my potential he always talked about my potential and it was great having him around since he was like my own guru who I consulted on my dancing. He critiqued me and showed me things I never knew. He taught me a move called "The Prayer." I went on to use that move alot in my routine.

Matt is a homosexual who also has a christian upbringing but was molested as a young child and turned gay later in his life. He talked to "Guardian angels." which he says protected him but they were really demons masquerading as angels. I never experienced much of the spirt realm until living with matt. Eventually I started to hearing screeching,gnawing,roaring, and gnashing in my ear almost every time I would lay my head on my pillow. It was because Matt meditated to these spirits for protection and I told him to stop. I had to start sleeping in his bed because the spirits got so violent almost knocking me out of my bed. When I did sleep alone i had to have the light on or the tv because the more light the less fierce it was. We talked alot and arugued alot but we were always friends. He provided an enviorment for me to do my dancing unhindered by external factors which really caused me to flourish. He got to watch me grow up he said. He also told me "One day you will choose between the techno god and the true G-d." We talked about faith sometimes too which was where my journey was going. G-d in his timing revealed to me the truth about Love. I imagined hell,pain,death,fire while reading on

Hell - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. None of that bothered I deserved it I thought. But one thing I couldn't fathom which was a world without love...G-d's Love. That one critical moment I made the decision that G-d was the answer to my problems I was facing reality and still dancing but knew why my passion was dieing. I left my everything in my life for the scene religion,parents, friends, jobs, homes all for freedom. But come to find out I left everything again friends,scene,music,dancing, drugs,porno,homes all for Love. I would much rather have the the Love than the freedom but now I have both. A raver in the military told me "The meaning of life is love or lack therof." That helped propell my idea of love and how I may have had the thought previous.

Chapter 6:A Prodigy in the making
Some poppers wanted what I had because they stole some of my moves but I left what I had out on the dancefloor. If someone is brave enough to go and get it then they would have to be a prodigy and get though creating their own style and to leave it for someone else to find only to take it up again by another. Since a legend is passed on it can't be kept that's why in order for it to be a prodigy has to have a mission "Dream dancing with fossil fusion which creates a final fantasy for the skillfuly sly." It has to have a name "Sapphire's the name dancing's the game." A face "Dancing with passion in fashion for love." a place I was talking to these guys and they asked me my name I said "Sapphire." they said "THE SAPPHIRE?" me "yes why!?" both guys reply "Aw dawg we've heard stories about you!" me "what!?" "what are they?" in excitement I asked....waiting expectantly....nothing...No matter I don't want to spoil it I thought I said as I left "They're good I hope?" them "of course of course." It has to have a mark some stranger at a bus station after talking to me for like 30 minutes told me
"You're a mark" what I asked? "You're what makes the carnivals thrive on, you ride the rides, buy the candy and they mark you." This stranger was a carnival employee apparantly but this also applies to the rave scene as it could be seen as a carnival. A prodigy of course has to have a calling An old friend Jyn-Syn was acting very weird one day on the Trajikk message board. He created a screen name "Calling your name." and in his response to one of my posts that had a poem in it he said
"Hey Saff! this is Jyn! See ya." (I don't remember what he said it was so long ago.) Painting the picture of a prodigy still one more thing is needed....Do you know?....it's destiny My mom tells me I am like a general for G-d, a girl named Olivia said "You're a pillar in his kingdom." 3 people spoke a prophecy about my life "You will witness to hundreds of people about Messiah." A preachor,my brother in law, and and old friend of my mom. G-d has to design destiny in order for a prodigy to fulfill their calling....He doesn't come up short in this matter either. I didn't plan on saying this on here but here goes. On March 1st 2008 at about 2:00am I had a dream in that dream G-d contacted me and spoke. He spoke....his voice...was...very....masqueline (man made in the image of G-d)...and..very loving...very firm..very clear..and..ancient...majestic..pure..and holy. G-d spoke to me in a dream he said..



And then I woke up and almost fell my mouth dropped and I said "The voice the voice the voice the voice." The voice of G-d gave me so much joy I think that's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yes many people have heard voices before claiming it was G-d but if it was the D-vil then if he said "my son" he would would have to lie and if I was a son of the d-vil then he wouldn't call me that since he cannot speak the truth and the enemy certainly wouldn't encourage repentance of sins. Just think one day you will hear his voice! 7 is the year of completion in the bible. If I had stayed in the scene for 8yrs and not 7yrs I would have suddenly disipated in essence. I was a run away for 7yrs, ran away 7 times, raved and dance for 7yrs, addicted to drugs 7yrs, came out in 07 on good friday april 6th while praying into the night until the 7th day of april it was complete I decided randomly, G-d planned perfectly it was critical to act at that moment of oppurtunity as I said that night "I am a man on a mission!" Mission complete forgiveness recieved prodigy left out on the dancefloor the prodigal son came home. If it hadn't happened so precisely..my life could have ended up a tragedy and not victory since I could have lost my life at any moment after that window of oppurtunity was closed. It's been almost a year since my last party March 18th 2007 this is to commerate that journey G-d has taken me on.


Chapter 7:The essence of life.
Take it from me if If you are affected by anything put on here please please don't respect me, this story or, anything like that this is all for the glory of G-d. If anything respect G-d who has done so much in my life and yours too. Please listen to these words. The essence of life for me as you clearly have read was Fluid. Boxed fluid was my dancing expression. The essence of life for me used to be Fluid (Makeup of lifestyle) Now the essence of life for me now is Form (makeup of lifestyle) There is a huge difference. Look at this....

Fluid is an expression of thought/emotion
Form is compression of spirituality and religion

/ˈfluɪd/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[floo-id] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-noun 1. a substance, as a liquid or gas, that is capable of flowing and that changes its shape at a steady rate when acted upon by a force tending to change its shape. pertaining to a substance that easily changes its shape; capable of flowing.

form /fɔrm/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fawrm] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-noun 1. external appearance of a clearly defined area, as distinguished from color or material; configuration: a triangular form. 2. the shape of a thing or person. to mold or develop by discipline or instructions: The sergeant's job was to form boys into men. to frame (ideas, opinions, etc.) in the mind. to contract or develop (habits, friendships, etc.). to give form or shape to; shape; fashion.

Wow! Fluid easily changes its shape I was happy then sad joyful then mad but now that I have form that's the entire shape of who I am!

Fluid is an expression of thought/emotion
Form is compression of spirituality and religion
Fluid is fleshy and material
Form is soulful and immaterial see the change?

Now this is just me but I am offering this for others benefit too. As it says buy the truth and do not sell it in proverbs 23. The essence of life is either a fluid of thoughts and emotions or a form of spirituality and religion. This is not about the meaning of life just the essence of life the makeup of our lifestyles. Where other people have failed as discussed in Curse of the Pendulum we can succeed. The problem with religion is not what's on paper but the form we take with our spirituality involved that takes place in the real world through a person or individual. The form we take is the essence of life. Now think about it this is what we see in the real world the form of people's faith they take and many people are turned off not by religion which they blame religion but really the fault lies not with religion but with the form the religion is taking in people's lives since that is what affects us in the world of the real.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will see the kingdom of God thanks be to Hashem our maker for making this story possible. Glory to the Lord for making me me. If this has inspired you then all I ask is that you gives that to Adonai who made us all unique all equal and all blessed. Praise Adonai! Forever praised be he he creates within many living waters there is always a conclusion with you YHWH!

Thanks so much for reading may you be blessed by this friends and folks of planet earth may you seek the kingdom of heaven always.