mind rating these rap lyrics, please? (its short) :]

i love old school and underground heavy rap, but i never actually attempted to write a song, i do however write books, and poetry.
i know your going to say that rap, is poetry, but there is a certain difference between them..

i spit this off the top of my head last night, just a minute or two, felt like writing, but i had no clue what to write.

mind rating it ?
if its alright, i might keep this going :]
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Im sitting here, alone and provoked
By this smoke, my eyes deprived of oxygen they choke,
I ask mother nature, to please invoke me..
With her serenity,
God are you there?
Cause im about to make a deal with the devil, you see.
Maybe in prayer, in a 2000 volt chair
Like a mother yelling out for help, as her child, slowly closes his eyes,
But cries are sugar coated lullabies, to lies disguised as gods of a nation so wise.
So, in my humble demise, I’ll flip through the pages of philosophy written in white ink,
Have some moonshine, here have a drink..
Listen to me, as I contemplate humanity, it words which bigots own,
But deny, and refuse to condone..
A shattered skull, like broken domes, in ancient Rome
Lying on the Caesar’s corpse, a royal broken home...
Like a fetus, roaming through the chapters of a scripture tome

Corporations, exploitation, corruption, GREED
Rape, Murder, deception, dead SEED's
Speed, weed, please, beasts FEED
Conceit, concede, mislead, manipulate, SUCCEED
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