The name of your future spouse will be in fact be Kevin H.
In the future, you will have yourself cloned. By the time your clone will reach legal age of adulthood, gay marriage will be legal in the United States. You will then be allowed to marry your gay clone as anarchy and hell will reign down on the world just as the uberconservative Tea Bag Party leaders claimed it would happen when gay marriage is legalized.
Oh the humanity! Oh the humanity!
Will someone please think of the children?! Blah blah blah melodrama melodrama melodrama blah blah blah....