So, what am I missing?

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I'm not really that versed in popular culture as 'normal' 21 year olds are, as in- I don't like popular music all that much save a few bands, (classical music student) and I never seem to watch films because I can't spare the time/commitment, and I never really watch t.v all too much. I mean, I'm not completely out of the loop, I'm just not really 'up on it' like other people seem to be.
Anyway, I was having a debate with my friend (who loves English culture) the other day, and I mentioned I was bored of living in England, and I'm planning to move to another country within the next year. In due course of me listing the things I was fed up with here, and aspects I liked of other countries, he made the statement that I don't 'understand the culture' here and without being interested in popular culture I can't get 'into the minds of the people' (this being the root of my current apathy with England).
Now, for the first 5 minutes I dismissed that- I mean, when someone doesn't like something you do like it's pretty comforting to presume it's because they don't 'understand' it like you do- and he's the sort to always be right about things.
Anyway, this wouldn't normally bother me, I like what I like and if it's considered elitist to like Wagner and not the Kings of Leon then I can't help that- but I would be concerned if I am actually 'missing something substantial' that would inhibit the way I think about things- culture, (all culture) being an academic interest.
So, what am I actually missing?
pq x

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Type: Discussion • Score: 3 • Views: 3,420 • Replies: 15

[+3] - Thomas - 02/06/2010Well, then you have no problem, do you? After all, if almost all people are idiots, almost none of their minds are [i]worth [/i]getting into. So what do [i]you[/i] care if you can't? And why waste...

@The Pentacle Queen,

Interests ebb and flow like the tide. As long as you're open minded to other things and you allow the occasional exposure to new and different objects of culture then you're not missing out if you end up not liking what you hear, see, or feel.

It's all subjective. Also, culture can be an accumulative thing. Over age and time and inevitable exposure, one can learn to appreciate the cultural items that annoyed you or flummoxed your cultural senses in the past.

Is it that you are lamenting the lack of a diverse array of culture where you presently reside and study? Maybe this is fueling your present day existential culture based crisis. Or not.

Want to switch places with me in NYC? I love the encyclopedia range of cultural options here in NYC. Do you live in or around London?

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@The Pentacle Queen,

The Pentacle Queen wrote:

I'm not really that versed in popular culture as 'normal' 21 year olds are, as in- I don't like popular music all that much save a few bands, (classical music student) and I never seem to watch films because I can't spare the time/commitment, and I never really watch t.v all too much. I mean, I'm not completely out of the loop, I'm just not really 'up on it' like other people seem to be.
Anyway, I was having a debate with my friend (who loves English culture) the other day, and I mentioned I was bored of living in England, and I'm planning to move to another country within the next year. In due course of me listing the things I was fed up with here, and aspects I liked of other countries, he made the statement that I don't 'understand the culture' here and without being interested in popular culture I can't get 'into the minds of the people' (this being the root of my current apathy with England).
Now, for the first 5 minutes I dismissed that- I mean, when someone doesn't like something you do like it's pretty comforting to presume it's because they don't 'understand' it like you do- and he's the sort to always be right about things.
Anyway, this wouldn't normally bother me, I like what I like and if it's considered elitist to like Wagner and not the Kings of Leon then I can't help that- but I would be concerned if I am actually 'missing something substantial' that would inhibit the way I think about things- culture, (all culture) being an academic interest.
So, what am I actually missing?
pq x

I'm sure you're missing some things. We all are. Some of them might even change your opinions, but that's just the human condition. You can't know everything.

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@tsarstepan,

Plus keep in mind as a human, one has only limited amount of time to do a limited amount of things. 24 hours in a day with a much needed slot for sleep taking a relatively large chunk of that time.

You're a full time student. Studies are (seemingly) your priority. Kudos for that. What's next though? Will you be an individual who will dedicate her life to her profession up to the point where nothing else can enter her life?

These things will have to be considered if you want to have a balanced life. Each path has it's own rewards and it's own possible dead ends. A life dedicated to work? You might find yourself in the rare top of your game. A respected and admired individual of your craft or not. You have to sacrifice something for this level of dedication... a well balanced life. Which ever way you decide how you live your life (the designations of your priorities time wise) it will inevitably be up to you.

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@The Pentacle Queen,

I think the question should be, what is it you don't like in the popular culture? Or why do you like what you do? Is it the level of intensity, deeps of morel, the level of philosophy, does popular culture just seem to be passing time without any purpose?? I don’t think you are missing out, or out the look, but just haven’t define the real value you like, so you feel you stand in-between.

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@The Pentacle Queen,

The Pentacle Queen wrote:

So, what am I actually missing?

I think for the most part, you're missing out on a social life among people with the same interests as yours. By all means, live in a foreign country for some times and see if that works better for you. At the same time, it might be helpful to remember that London isn't the same as England. From your self-portrait, you appear to be a better fit with Oxbridge than with London..

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@Thomas,

That's nice Thomas. Thank you.
I got Oxbridge grades but I never applied because I would most definitely fail the interview. I can write about what I think but I can't talk about it very well.... thus why I spend so much time on here probably.
I dunno, I made a thread about it once. Maybe if I manage to learn to communicate my thoughts more coherently in speech I could do my masters.
I think you're right. I am missing out on that social life... I made a thread about that too. I have my two best friends I can talk to about those matters, and no-one else.

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@The Pentacle Queen,

What do you think is your problem with communicating coherently in the spoken word? Are you nervous or uncomfortable when you talk to people? I'm asking because that could affect (a) your ability to get into their minds, and (b) their interest in opening up to you. It would also mean that the problem might get worse, not better, if you move to a foreign country.

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@Thomas,

I think the reason lies mainly with the fact that no-on ever knows anything about classical music apart from my best friend, and no-one ever really cares- so I haven't had a large amount of practice in talking about it.
When someone DOES ask me about something to do with classical music, I know they don't really care and don't understand any of the basic concepts, so I give them a quick jumbled up explanation because I don't feel I've got the 'platform' to talk about it properly.
I can talk about things fine when I'm teaching, because I have absolute authority, but then I'm not teaching as advanced stuff as I'm studying. I think the problem lies in trying to convert my knowledge into something I think one of my friends will both be able to understand AND care about.

Obviously I've talked to my tutors, but that experience I find difficult because the majority of the time they'll interrupt and put me off my track, and specifically my personal tutor has a way of phrasing questions so they cut right to the bone of the issue, which is hard to come up with an off-the-cuff response to.

Another issue is that I never give an opinion for anything I'm not 100% sure about and I dither on the fence all the time. It's not that I don't understand the issues, it's just I hate tailoring information into a cohesive whole when it can't be pushed that way and I'll NEVER argue something I don't personally agree with.
I think that is the main reason why I'm not Oxbridge material- I can't bullshit an essay out by creating arguments from premises I don't agree with. Having said that, I've never ever tried, but I can't imagine doing it.

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@The Pentacle Queen,

The Pentacle Queen wrote:

I think the reason lies mainly with the fact that no-on ever knows anything about classical music apart from my best friend, and no-one ever really cares- so I haven't had a large amount of practice in talking about it.

Well, obviously I don't have all the answers either. But in the spirit of poking around for suggestions that might work for you: Have you tried playing chamber music with fellow students? That should surround you with peers who care, with whom you'd have to talk about your interpretation, and whose minds you'd have to put yourself into. Could this be a good exercise for you?

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Small audience. For example, if you wanted to talk with lovers of vanilla ice cream, you'd have a ton of people. Spumoni? Smaller group.

There must be concerts or even a radio station that features classical music. That's where you will find your like minded friends.

They aren't going to come banging on your door. you gotta be willing to be more social.

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@Thomas,

Thomas wrote:

The Pentacle Queen wrote:
I think the reason lies mainly with the fact that no-on ever knows anything about classical music apart from my best friend, and no-one ever really cares- so I haven't had a large amount of practice in talking about it.

Well, obviously I don't have all the answers either. But in the spirit of poking around for suggestions that might work for you: Have you tried playing chamber music with fellow students? That should surround you with peers who care, with whom you'd have to talk about your interpretation, and whose minds you'd have to put yourself into. Could this be a good exercise for you?

Oh, yeah I hate pretty much everyone on my course because they're all unimaginative idiots. Most classical musicians are real bores, actually. And none of them can talk about their subject well- it's just an exchange of facts.

I mean, i don't want this to sound like I haven't got friends, because I have, just not ones I can talk to properly about my interests in the 'correct' way, apart from a couple.

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@The Pentacle Queen,

Well, then you have no problem, do you? After all, if almost all people are idiots, almost none of their minds are worth getting into. So what do you care if you can't? And why waste time and money looking for more intelligent people abroad? Which nationality in the world do you think beats the intelligence of the English by a large enough margin to change the picture fundamentally?

The answer to your thread title's question is that you're not missing anything. You're fine people-wise. I wonder why you even asked.

Glad we've got that cleared up. What else can I do for you?

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@Thomas,

No but I would assume I have had a problem had I really been missing a large insight into the 'minds of the people' through popular culture, as was suggested to me.
I just wanted to check, since if I'm missing out on something culturally it might infringe on my learning.

Well, since you ask, Thomas, you'd be perfect to answer this actually-
I'm going to travel around a bit after I graduate to ensure that I see a bit of the world before I get started on my 'career plan', but somehow I have the notion lodged in my brain that I'd meet all the people of my dreams if I moved to Berlin. That's probably not true, is it?

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@The Pentacle Queen,

There's only one way to find out. But if I had to bet, I'd put my money on the following scenario: You'd be excited in Berlin for a few weeks, maybe even a few months. Then you would discover that everyone is an idiot there too. And so you would move on to the next thing -- Moscow perhaps.

Either way, let me know if and whenever you're coming to the New York area.

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@Thomas,

Yeah.
I remember when I first realized the initial cocaine buzz of moving to London was wearing off I was so disappointed. I don't believe I thought it would last for ever, ha.
And yes New York is most certainly on my agenda and I will definitely let you know.

There is one thing I will say about all the European people I've met, which is they all seem really bothered to communicate, and all seem extremely interested in small cultural differences and parallel ways of life. I like that.

Thank you for all your help. Smile

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