Conflict of Interest, Health , Safety & Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs

Health , Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs

Conflict of Interest must also be considered/declared pursuant to
determinants within the relevant Local Government Act


1. Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way .

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe
for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also
consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture,
particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note,
permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To
avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request
that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise
nuisance.


2. While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around .

The Shepherds Union has complained that it breaches Health and Safety
regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate
seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and
orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that,
due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year, they should
watch their flocks via CCTV cameras from centrally heated shepherd
observation huts.

Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her
glory all around he / she must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued
with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and
Glory.

3. Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows .

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities act, it is inappropriate
for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr.
R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer
Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be
taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will
be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be
considered whilst this investigation takes place.


4. We Three Kings

We three Kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star .


Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be
redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold', etc.


- gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential
risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift
alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient's
name or perhaps give a gift voucher.

We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in
order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC Routefinder or
satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice
regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA
for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require
regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also
advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels' hooves.


5. Away in a Manger
Away in a Manger
No Crib for a bed .

DHS should be immediately contacted as mangers are not suitable places of
rest for newborn babies due to unsanitary conditions, sharing with animals,
lack of proper ventilation and no access to running fresh water and heating.
Therefore under no circumstances should a crib be put in a manger. A risk
assessment should also be carried out before allowing animals to occupy said
manger - are there tethering facilities, running water, and food
receptacles. If not, the manger should not be used and the animals should
be removed and housed elsewhere (but still not with the Baby Jesus).

Merry Christmas!