4
   

Parental Rights

 
 
lkimble
 
Reply Mon 19 Oct, 2009 10:27 pm
I live in New Jersey and I have an 8 month old son I am with his father as of now but we have been having problems, I take care of everything for our son. His father doesn't do anything for him without having to be asked. He doesn't know the brands or size of his diapers, the foods he likes, the type of formula he drinks or how to make it. Our son was also premiee and I had to take care of his needs then too, I know I'm the mom but the way I see it the as his dad he should handle some stuff.

My question is does all that give me enough grounds for full custody if it was what I wanted?

Plus if we were to split he'd probably move into his parents house which his dad just got out of jail for unpaid warrents and his mother is so religious that she would move to a compound if her church told her to. I don't think that is a good home for him to live in and he wouldn't even have his own room cause my boyfriend is 26 and he has a 17, 13, 8, and 6 year old brothers and sister. There isn't any room for either of them.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,885 • Replies: 9
No top replies

 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 Oct, 2009 10:35 pm
@lkimble,
Needless to say, you need professional advice. Sounds like you should be the custodial parent, but I would be surprised if you could deny visitation rights. Depends on the entire situation, and whatever the court decides.
Ceili
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 Oct, 2009 11:23 pm
The family has no bearing on whether or not you will get full custody. This however might have been something you should have considered before you had a child with him.
It won't matter if you tell the judge you do it all either, plenty of fathers are useless when it comes to babies. If you split up, you cannot take his parental rights away because your sick of his laziness. Does he have a job? Does he pay for a place for you and the babe? Is he abusive? Are you?
A child deserves the love of both parents. It pisses me off when people pick a bed to sleep in, and then are bewildered and angry it's not lined with silk. If you want to leave fine. But don't deny your child his father cause he's not perfect. Neither are you. If you can't work it out under the same roof then move. If the father shows no interest then and does nothing to help raise the child, either with time or money, then you may have a case for joint or shared custody. However, I think you're a bit premature asking for or even contemplating full custody.
I think you're being spiteful, and that is never a good thing when a child is involved.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Oct, 2009 01:37 am
@lkimble,
I'm confused in http://able2know.org/topic/137399-11#post-3789399 , you write that you have no problems, but here you state the opposite. Which is it?

sullyfish6
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Oct, 2009 06:07 am
Are you worried about him or the baby? and why should you care where yur boyfriend sleeps if you should split up.

Your first job should be to safeguard the child's safety and well-being - but it sounds like you have two babies to take care of.

0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  2  
Reply Tue 20 Oct, 2009 10:59 am
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:

I'm confused in http://able2know.org/topic/137399-11#post-3789399 , you write that you have no problems, but here you state the opposite. Which is it?



She doesn't have any problems. Except, that is, for her eight-month-old illegitimate baby and her lazy, irresponsible boyfriend who wants to live with his ex-con father and religious nut mother.

Oh, and she lives in New Jersey.
0 Replies
 
lkimble
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Oct, 2009 10:40 pm
@Ceili,
We didn't have anything to do with his family before I got pregnant. I'm not talking about taking away his rights to the point that he never sees our son again I'm talking about making sure when he does have our son its him taking care of him and not his mother. That our son will still be raised the way we talked about and he's not going to take the easy way out and let his mom do it. And no when I need money for our son cause mine has been taken as far as it goes I have to tell him I need money he just doesn't say here's 50 dollars get what you need for Logan.

But the fact of it is would a judge give a man weekend or over night visit who doesn't know how to completely care for a child? If Logan ran out of something in the middle of the night or got sick he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know how to handle it.
0 Replies
 
lkimble
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Oct, 2009 10:48 pm
@roger,
Thats the thing I don't want to deny visit, but I would like suppervised visits or so many hours a week rather than joint. I also thought the living enviroment has something to do with it, cause we live in my parents house now but our son has his own room, if we split his father would go back to his parents house or to his friends which nither are equal to what he has here. If he lived with his parents he would have to sleep in the basement and our son would either have to share a room with his mentaly hadicaped 8 year old uncle or in the basement with his father but he has alleriges so the basement doesn't really work.

My main thing is as screwed up as it is I really want to keep it so that he wont really be raised by his grandmother who is the drink the cool-aid brand of crazy religious. I mean I know he is going to have contact but I don't want it so that when his dad has his time and if he has work the our son is left alone in his mothers house.
0 Replies
 
lkimble
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Oct, 2009 10:50 pm
@Ragman,
When I said we have no problems I mean with how people treat us. We have the same problems as every other couple in america, money, home life, work, all the same things that any relationship has. The problems we have is the melding of 2 lives into 1 and trying to work the best life out that we can, the same problem I would have if I was with a white guy.
0 Replies
 
lkimble
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Oct, 2009 11:05 pm
@lkimble,
The problem that made me think about full custody is that recently it was believed that his father walked out on his mother and the kids again, but really he was in jail. He has walked out so many times by boyfriend doesn't even know how many times its been.

The time before there was a problem with his father my boyfriend had told me he was done with all of this, it was time for his mother to handle things, he couldn't keep getting drawn into it he had his own family now. Well about 3 weeks ago when the time came to let his mother handle things he jumped right back in the middle of it. Then we had a fight cause his father has a drinking problem and maybe a drug problem he hides his addictions really well that no one knows for sure, but the point is I said I didn't really want his father around our son, I don't think he is responsible or a good person to have in our son's life. He disagrees not because he cares about his father seeing him but because that would mean making his mother go out of her way to see him. So all the values and things we had talked about before our son was born has just gone out the window. I asked what if something happens his whole family thinks his father is sick but he told me that is a chance he was willing to take.

So yes this was all thought about and talked about before having a child together but now when the time comes to do something about it he wants to turn the other cheek. I want to do this not just out of the fact that I am all ready the one who does everything for our son but also for the safty of my son. You might think a I am over reacting but I have had friends that were abused or grew up in a messed up family, and I don't want that life for my son. I'm not going to ever be able to give him much but I want to know that I've always done my best and given it my all to see to the best life that he could get.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » Parental Rights
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.05 seconds on 05/08/2021 at 07:28:48