emotional child abuse

Reply Mon 28 Sep, 2009 09:16 pm
My Grandsons have always called me Momma but since my son's death and being taken by their mother and signed over to her parents they are being disciplined for calling me Momma, sometimes in front of me. They sometimes cower after this discipline and are afraid to interact with me until completely alone with me. I explained to their other grandparents that this was not right to do and am told that doesn't matter I am not their mother they said this is the way it was to be. They have always called my mother Grandma, myself Momma, and their mother Mommy. It wasn't a problem until we went to court for Grandparents Rights to visit with the boys. The boys were 6 and 2 1/2 when my son died. They also lived with their father and us most of their lives. Isn't this emotional abuse?

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Reply Mon 28 Sep, 2009 10:17 pm
I think it's really difficult to label this as emotional abuse since we are given such a small piece of the puzzle. If the children are repeatedly punished and yelled at then I could see them cowering with every form of discipline.
It's confusing that they are signed over to their other grandparents. As far as calling you Momma, I could actually understand why this would offend their mother. Would it be an awful inconvenience for them to call you by another name?
Reply Mon 28 Sep, 2009 10:32 pm
Welcome to A2K!

I gather Mommy is still alive and living with the other grandparents? If so, no matter how unfair it may seem to you, I'd have to recommend that for the children's sake that you, as the adults, make the adjustment and avoid the bickering to the greatest extent possible. If it is indeed child abuse, you are unfortunately inadvertently complicit in it, if you’re complicit in maintaining it as an issue when there's likely nothing you can do about it. Best wishes, and sorry to hear about your loss.
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Reply Tue 29 Sep, 2009 04:16 am
We have Grandma Susie and Grandma Shar.

Agree to modify your name, if for no reason than to keep the peace.

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Reply Sun 4 Oct, 2009 11:02 am
Thanks for taking the time to reply to my question. It is hard to give you the whole picture but in a nutshell they were raised by my son and myself. Momma is a nickname for Grandma here and making them change I feel only throws one more hurdle at them in recovery from loss of their Dad because of the traumatic and unwanted seperation from their home, and life as they knew it. It is my opinion that since it was not a problem with her family before my son died, how inconsiderate to their mindset are they to make it one now?
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