Continue drum lessons or not?

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My son, Mo, who is 8 years old, loves loves loves going to his drum lesson. He's been taking them for about a year and a half.

The school he goes to divides the lessons into weekly group and individual lessons. Because Mo is still at the low end of enrollment agewise, and because he has a few developmental delays he has only been taking the individual lessons. He still doesn't feel "ready" for the group lesson (in which they play in a "band").

I've been thinking of pulling him out of lessons. He doesn't practice or I have to nag and nag to get him to play. His teacher is a great guy and very honest in his assesment about Mo's muscle control, stamina, and desire to really play. When I talked to him about taking Mo out of class he suggested that maybe Mo just needs to mature a bit but agreed with me that Mo was making progress, that he enjoyed the class, and that it might be hard to get him back into it if he quits for a while.

The classes are expensive but not prohibitively so, we just scrimp a little here and there to pay for them. I'm not expecting him to be Mr. Rock Star or anything but I kinda hate to keep throwing money into something when I'm not sure he's getting much out of it.

I just hate to pull him out when he enjoys it so much and he has really stuck with it.

I really keep going back in forth on this.

Should I just lay down the law and say if he wants to continue then he will practice? That he will join the group lessons (which will increase the tuition)?

Musicians, teachers, students of music, lovers of music, moms, dads, friends -- what should I do?

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

My son, Mo, who is 8 years old, loves loves loves going to his drum lesson. He's been taking them for about a year and a half.

The school he goes to divides the lessons into weekly group and individual lessons. Because Mo is still at the low end of enrollment agewise, and because he has a few developmental delays he has only been taking the individual lessons. He still doesn't feel "ready" for the group lesson (in which they play in a "band").

I've been thinking of pulling him out of lessons. He doesn't practice or I have to nag and nag to get him to play. His teacher is a great guy and very honest in his assesment about Mo's muscle control, stamina, and desire to really play. When I talked to him about taking Mo out of class he suggested that maybe Mo just needs to mature a bit but agreed with me that Mo was making progress, that he enjoyed the class, and that it might be hard to get him back into it if he quits for a while.

The classes are expensive but not prohibitively so, we just scrimp a little here and there to pay for them. I'm not expecting him to be Mr. Rock Star or anything but I kinda hate to keep throwing money into something when I'm not sure he's getting much out of it.

I just hate to pull him out when he enjoys it so much and he has really stuck with it.

I really keep going back in forth on this.

Should I just lay down the law and say if he wants to continue then he will practice? That he will join the group lessons (which will increase the tuition)?

Musicians, teachers, students of music, lovers of music, moms, dads, friends -- what should I do?

Make him practice! Use positive reinforcement to get him to do so if possible...

Gave up on the drums when I was young (though a bit older). Now I regret it.

Cycloptichorn

1 Reply

@boomerang,

What does Mo say about why he doesn't practice?

0 Replies

@boomerang,

ummm...tough call.

First off, I think you should keep him going. But you need to find an incentive to get him to practice so he doesn't connect nagging to an unpleasant side of the drums.

How 'bout something connected to a week-end movie?

Say if he practices a half hour every week day.

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The best thing to do
is to cram as much happiness as u POSSIBLY CAN,
into Mo 's childhood, so that at the end of his mortal life
he can look back upon it in euphoria and gratitude to u.

David

0 Replies

@Cycloptichorn,

I might, or might not, say the opposite re cyclo's comments.

I took piano lessons from nine through thirteen and lost any impetus to want to practice... except that I liked the piano by myself sometimes. This can be separated as an odd circumstance, as I was bored out of my tree, or maybe not. My lessons were in a convent front room by what I can only take now as a non swift sister.. with a non swift me. Within the year of my being thirteen, we moved to California, and my parents, bless 'em, asked me if I wanted to have the piano follow us, and I said no. I was cognizant, somewhat, of expenses and the trouble we were in, and also honest, in that I was tired of that structure. It turned out to be a good decision, as we had increasing family money straits up the wazoo. The baby grand, old and used of course, would have had to have gone into my aunt's garage with all the black widows. From my viewpoint now, it's a wonder they asked.

I see that these kind of straits are not your problem, boomer, but I think you have to look at what is going on here. You clearly want Mo to progress. I'm not clear that more drumming is the route.

I would still like to have a piano, but I was never sharp or flat enough to be a pianist. (I'd like to hear more about Thomas on this.)

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I was a drummer. I was pretty good. My younger brother is a percussionist with an Air Force Band in Germany. He is really good.
My advice to you would be to keep up the private lessons for as long as he enjoys it and you can afford it. Try to encourage the group thing, but do not push the practice, practice issue. He is only 8, for god's sake.
In due course he will be 13 and discover rock music or marching band or classical music in his middle/high school years. He will have a good foundation in music.

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http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/09/060920093024.htm

Googling "music" and "brain development" will get other references.

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@ossobuco,

When I was 13, I used to play the radio.
That was my favorite musical instrument.
I got in plenty of practice.
I got to be pretty good at it.
I never took formal lessons for it; no grief.
I was able to turn to my favorite stations quickly.
I continued with it for thru out my teenage years.
I even played it in the car.

In time, I grew somewhat bored with it,
tho I listened to talk radio once in a while.

David

4 Replies

@OmSigDAVID,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

When I was 13, I used to play the radio.
That was my favorite musical instrument.
I got in plenty of practice.
I got to be pretty good at it.
I never took formal lessons for it; no grief.
I was able to turn to my favorite stations quickly.
I continued with it for thru out my teenage years.
I even played it in the car.

In time, I grew somewhat bored with it,
tho I listened to talk radio once in a while.

David

Unless you can now share your ability to listen to the radio with others, it's not quite the same thing.

Cycloptichorn

2 Replies

@Cycloptichorn,

Well, whether u blow your horn
or I play my radio, the principles are about the same
as to sharing.

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

Well, whether u blow your horn
or I play my radio, the principles are about the same
as to sharing.

David

Incorrect. One person engages in an activity which stimulates creativity and promotes new generation of data; the other merely repeats others' attempts at doing so. Playing your own instrument represents a higher level (in pretty much every way) than repeating others' words and music.

This is why I would promote a student learning to play an instrument, instead of learning to tune the radio. You get much more out of it, and so does everyone else.

Cycloptichorn

1 Reply

@realjohnboy,

ok, I'll listen there.

0 Replies

@Cycloptichorn,

We are not all musically ept.

0 Replies

@OmSigDAVID,

We are not all musically ept. Much as some music matters to me beyond words, would I have wanted it carved out for me as a child? I was better with strange books. Mo - I dunno.

0 Replies

@OmSigDAVID,

One more point. I was twelve in 1954. I see that as a peak of children across the land practicing, practicing, practicing. I'd had been doing that badly - re the tuned in - for four years. It's a wonder I still like music.

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@Cycloptichorn,

Fly a kite, cyclo, we are not all you. We give our particular takes.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

Cyclo, this is swell, I can only agree. But we aren't all at the head of the line to jumping to that.

0 Replies

As RJB said, it's a foundation to future music endeavors. Also, I think that being involved in music is a good thing for most students and in particular some LD students. And, it's focused attention for some duration, learning new things.... it's good for him. I say keep him in for now.

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@boomerang,

I think you should consider how you preceive the lessons. Do you see it as music instruction, or entertainment? Once you've decided, you should be in a position to make a decision.

0 Replies

Continue drum lessons or not?

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