Continue drum lessons or not?

Every child is different. But all children I knew who ever had music lessons, also had patches when they didn't want to practice -- including myself. My parents chose to stick it out. In hindsight, I'm glad they did -- even though I, unlike Mo, was at a stage where I didn't even like the classes anymore.

Based on what you told us so far, I'd vote for keeping him in drumming class.

I agree with Thomas. I played when I was young, and when it became inconvenient for the parents for me to play, I was allowed to quit.

wish now I had continued in a more serious fashion.

I vote for MO making the decision.


HAPPINESS on him !

and IN him



David

Keep him in it. He enjoys it, and it's good for him. At 8, that's enough reason.

If it was me, I would push him to practice. The better he gets, the more he will enjoy it. Maybe make a game out of practice? (2 min. as soft as he can, 2 minutes as loud as he can, 1 minute slow, 1 minute fast, etc...there are other ways.)

But I would not push him into group sessions. Only if/when he decides he wants to try that.

I might listen to Eva - well, this time. But not forever.

Mamma knew best for 'So You Think You Can Dance' winner:



I caught the show when Jeanine talked about how her mom forced her to continue dancing even though she wanted to quit. She was very thankful that her mom pushed her.

I think you should continue the drum lessons and require your little drummer to practice at least a half hour every day. He will acquire a skill and an appreciation for music that he can treasure his whole life.

Or, the kid is an obedient robot. I went to school with child stars. There are two sides, or more, to all this.

- Me too - and I liked the part about being able to play it in the car.


I've never gotten bored with it, and on a more serious note, I actually think that constant exposure to or listening to musicians who were better than me, inspired and spurred me on in terms of applying myself to my own lessons.

Maybe you could show Mo the video of Keith Moon (of the Who) playing the drums on 5:15 (from Quadrophenia). If I were wanting to play the drums, one look at that video would get me practicing.

On the other hand, if he doesn't practice or play the instrument, he's not gonna make progress and paying for him to go sit and play the same thing he played the week before week after week doesn't make sense.

I'd present it to him like this - 'You say you like to play, but I never see you play. If you like to play, and you want to get better, you need to show me that you like to play- and I'll be happy to keep paying for your lessons.'

If he's hit a rough patch and wants to quit - that doesn't have to mean forever. He's eight - that's when most kids START an instrument. As long as you keep the drum set, he can always go back to it- and the lessons will still be there. If he's a musical person, he won't be able to resist it. My daughter quit the violin, and now three years later, she's teaching herself to play the piano - and I'm amazed at how good she is...she's never had one lesson on the piano and she picking out the right and left hand of Fur Elise (just from having heard it). She's working on putting them together now. Three years makes a big difference in maturity and level of commitment to something.

I agree that it's important that he likes it.

Like Osso, I was pushed too hard and shut down. I was a pretty talented violinist and quit at age 10 or so...? Just because of being pushed, I liked the violin. It's one of those things that probably worked out for the best -- if I got more and more serious and skilled, losing my hearing would've been that much worse.

From what you've said so far about his interest level and what the teacher has to say, it does sound like continuing with individual lessons is the way to go. (What did the teacher say about that -- Mo's readiness to go to the group?)

I played trombone all through school and college. Marching band in the fall and concert band in the spring. It gives one a ready-made social group. It's how I met T.

I wish now that I had practiced more; practicing on my own always seemed kinda boring.

I suggest letting him learn at his own rate, and move up to group lessons when he feels comfortable. Encourage practice, but don't force the issue. He'll either catch the bug, or he won't.

Thank you all so much for your replies!

It seems that everyone pretty much agrees that staying in class is a good idea. Mo's classes are paid up through the end of this month so I don't have to rush to make a decisions, thank goodness.

"Catching the bug" seems to be the hinge on which the decision rests. His teacher said that he just doesn't have the passion for it, but that he's only 8, and most kids don't really start until they are 10-12.

We all talked about it over dinner last night. Mo insists that he wants to continue lessons but isn't ready for group yet. We suggested that if he wants to continue lessons that he's going to have to put more effort into it.

Mr. B and I were talking about it again this morning. I pointed out that most schools don't even offer group lessons, that I didn't think we should make the decision based on his not being ready for group.

I think I'll ask his teacher if we can sit in on a Rock 101 (beginning group) class so that both Mo and I can get a better idea of what it's all about.

Maybe being in group would put a little peer pressure on him to practice -- they could be the nags, not me.

It seems that most people I know who quit music lessons later regretted it. Mo wants to continue. To me, that says a lot right there.

Mr. B thinks he has to want it enough to put more effort into it.

And he's right too.

As usual, I sit on the fence counting my other hands.

I was a kid-drummer. I stuck with it until three years ago. And will pick 'em up again, when I find people I want to play with. Or have a kid.

Johnboy's advice resonated with my own experience. I began individual lessons when I was 11. They gave me this weak ass practice pad, and a xylophone. Whoopee. I endured that for a year because it was easy. Then I got to middle school. Where I got to play in an ensemble. I really took to bashing gongs and cymbals and a buch of **** I couldn't name with my fellow percussionists. Even now I'm somtimes wistful for high school band class, just dicking around in the back, where the windows were open, while Mr. P yelled at the flutes.

But I digress.

It was in middle school that I first got on a trap set. This was for jazz band. For years I would wait in the shadow of this virtuoso a year ahead of me, but even playing the shitty ballads handed off to me was an electric experience. And it was at this time that I really, really started getting into Led Zeppelin. Of course.

All this to say that when, a year later, my parents got me my first drum kit, they never had to tell me to practice. Like they did with piano lessons. And it's not like I was practicing. I just banged away. In fact my technique isn't very good, insofar as my arms do much work per stroke (buh-huh-huh). I just liked it. Not long after that I started an awful blues band. Just terrible. I **** you not that like, on the second day of practice, my sister and five of her hot friends crammed into the basement to watch us play.

Okay, what am I trying to say? Drums are a rock n' roll instrument. My experience was that rock n' roll really, truly hit me at 13. About the same time that girls did, though only one of the two were easily accesible. And when it hit me, I hit the drums, until I was told I had to stop because my dad had a headache.

But some kids catch the bug early, it seems. I wonder how he would react to playing with others? Having the loudest instrument in a room full of instruments is quite thrilling. Totally different experience.

Sorry.

i love it when you ramble.

Yeah, it's the PASSION. Hang in there boomer til the kid gets the PASSION.

God help me, Mo has already discovered girls and rock and roll.

We just got back from vacation where his cousin became his kissing cousin -- they were ratted out by her little sister who got tired of being the puppy while they played "house".

He's always been a little rocker. That's part of the problem. When choosing songs to learn to play in class he always wants something that is way too fast and complex for him. The teacher tries to steer him to songs that he can learn and that's "BOR-ing".

"BOR-ing" is also why he doesn't like to practice. Trying to keep a specific rhythm going over several minutes IS kind of boring. He doesn't really have the control yet to play along with a song that he likes, played at regular speed.

Maybe I need to research cool rock songs that have easy drum parts..... Any suggestions?

Roger, what you said about questioning whether it is instruction or entertainment pretty well sums up Mr. B's arguments. Mo loves the school, loves his teacher, loves going to their concerts, loves the whole "vibe" of it. Mr. B thinks that's the reason he continues to want to go to class.

I 'll wager that your place of abode
is significantly quieter, if he does not practice the drums too much.





`

Are there any drumming circles available in your community? exposure to a different drumming style might help Mo in his technique development.

~~~

There is a 10 year old girl in one of my dance classes. She goes to a school for the arts but didn't like the extracurricular options available to kids, so she poked around til she found the school I go to. She prefers coming to class with adult women, since we're not as competitive as girls her age (her dad told me ALL about it one day while we were waiting for something).

I didn't like any of the group things for kids my parents tried to put me in. I ended up going to adult ed painting classes at the local university when I was 9 or 10.

~~~

I'm trying to figure out if it was because A and I are only children, or if it's just better for some kids to take classes with adults because there is less pressure in some ways.

In any case, where I was going with this was that his current drum classes might be the best thing for him right now - or maybe there are other options to consider.

~~~

Practice is boring. Is playing drums boring? how does he differentiate between playing drums and practicing drums? has the teacher provided any tips on what made him practice - mebbe he can share that with you and Mo?

Does Mo know that you're considering turning off the drum class tap?

~~~

Does the instructor mind being an entertainment source for Mo?

I remember that.
As a very young boy,
I preferred the company of older adults.
I never needed to defend myself from them.




David

When Hermione was seven, she started piano lessons. She wasn't all that
crazy about practice, but she did it. She become a pretty decent pianist.
Later on, she also took up clarinet.

When Nigel was seven, he started piano lessons. Practice time became a
struggle of wills between him and his Mom (and me, when I got home). We
threw in the towel. When he was in middle school, I issued an ultimatum.
He was going to take an instrument. He could chose which one, but he was
going to take one. He chose drums. He was little bit better at practice.
A little.

Then he started fooling around on the piano on his own. Then he started
borrowing my guitar and teaching himself. He got pretty good. He then
saved up and bought a very nice acoustic guitar. He plays for his own
amusement and relaxation. He probably doesn't do it to drive me nuts
(where was this enthusiasm when I was willing to pay for lessons???), but
I wouldn't put it past him.

Kids is funny.

Bullseye. I've often felt a certain afinity for Mr. B.

Great post, pitcher.



Okay, okay, I see the middle way. I really not for the "we are cultured people, you will practice" stuff - not that anyone here is for that, certainly not Boomer, but I've been around such parents as my colleagues and it's a heart chiller. But, I have not been them, and can imagine other opinions if you have a richly talented child.

Story, a side view.
I have had a friend of yore who was trained as a concert pianist with Nadia Boulangier, and didn't go for it because of acute performance anxiety. Which I sympathize with. However Mo goes along, this isn't at the forefront of my concern for him. (Smiles)