I think you must be right, jl. Words I have been able to spell since early childhood have become a challenge for me. The word processor helps, but even with it I make the kind of mistakes I never thought possible. I'll be 62 in a few months. I guess I need a secretary, but can't afford one.
The Skeletal Comedian
Working the graveyard shift again,
literally, digging new holes
for forgone souls.
It's sweaty, gruesome work,
so I always pack a picnic,
some bread, cheese, cold cuts
and a bottle of wine.
I'm looking forward to a break
when my shovel hits something hard.
"Fer chrissakes! What was that?"
I brush the dirt
from the offending object
and a skeleton jumps up
from the ground.
"Whoa! Easy with that shovel,
you nearly scared me out of my skin!
Oh wait, you DID scare me out of my skin!"
The skeleton's teeth clattered
in an odd pastiche of laughter.
"Man, sometimes I slay myself!"
The skeleton rolled on the ground
completely engrossed in his joke.
"Sheesh, if I laugh any harder,
I'll lose my head!"
The skeleton popped off his head
and said
"Look, I'm holding my head in my hands."
This act was already getting tired.
He put his head back on and looked around.
"Say, what's in the basket, friend?"
"Bread, cheese, cold cuts and a bottle of wine."
"Hey, crack open that bottle, I want to show you something."
I opened the bottle and handed it to him.
He took a sip, and it trickled through his ribs
onto the ground.
"I guess I don't have the stomach for wine anymore."
I had to admit, that was pretty funny.
"Mr. skeleton,"
"Please, call me Bones."
I snickered.
"Okay, Bones, for someone so dead,
you seem to have a good sense of humour."
The skeleton got pensive for a moment.
"Kid, let me tell you a story.
Twenty years ago,
I was a struggling comic.
At a club one night,
a couple of rowdy hecklers
didn't take kindly to my jokes.
They were big, burly, drunk,
and carrying knives.
They jumped me as I left the joint,
dragged me here and tossed me in the ground.
That's the end of the tale.
I still think it's funny
that of all places
to bury a murder victim,
they chose a cemetery.
Do you think that means
they had morals hidden
somewhere inside them?"
I didn't really know what to say.
"Let me tell you something
about the dead.
We spend a lot of time
watching the living,
and you guys are hilarious,
the way you ponder the afterlife
or lack of one.
You wonder if we are sad we died,
or if we suffer.
All I can say is that for the last twenty years,
the only thing I thought about
was how much
I wanted to use those new one-liners."
Spelling is given to phonics,
As opposed to the natural harmonics
Of learning by sight
Which don't make it right,
But helps as in visual tonics.
For Cav and his skeleton quips,
He always shoots from the hips.
(delightful, Cav. a high IQ doesn't seem to interfere with your creativity)
mithie, love haiku AND origami--poetry in paper. <smile>
My creativity
runs free,
and I don't live in Kansas.
My IQ asks,
should I have put it in stanzas?
You're free to put it any verse you like, my young friend.
It seems the muse only visits me at night, at which point the real Letty seems to escape
Into the flight of
Yesterday and tomorrow,
Between music and disclosure
Of beauty and sorrow.
I do my best writing in bouts of insomnia.
Come now Western Digital
Please don't cry
I know my temper is volatile
But please don't lie
I didn't mean to yell
but I was sad
I didn't mean to smack the hell
out of you
but I was mad
Because you told me I didn't have enough memory to install this stupid microsoft word 2002 piece of crap when clearly windows explorer tells me I have over 6 gigs left.
So if you don't wanna die,
Please don't lie.
mithie your memory (dram most likely) is not the same as the space left on your hard drive
This is not the first poem, and certainly not the best.
This one I can show you
but I don't know about the rest.
I don't want to hide them, but I want to scare you even less.
stuh505 wrote:mithie your memory (dram most likely) is not the same as the space left on your hard drive
What the heck is dram?
Dictionary.com shows gibberish
I am perplexed
your hard drive stores information magnetically, so that when the power goes off, the information stays there. but it is very slow to access. if your computer used your hard drive 'memory' directly, it would be extremely slow. your computer has multiple forms of memory, ther is memory in your audio (i think) and at last video card, but the main memory is in your RAM (random access memory), there are numerous kinds of ram but you most likely have DRAM (dynamic random access memory), this memory is volatile meaning that it only exists while there is current passing through the integrated circuits...so when your computer shuts down, all this information is lost. whenever you run a program, the information is loaded from your hard drive into your dram and things are kept in your dram or swapped around depending on what program you open and how big they are to keep things running fast. your hard drive has no effect on how fast your computer is UNLESS you are almost out of space. the processor speed like "2 GHz" or "300 MHz" is the speed that your computer can break time down into to perform indiviidual operations...by itself it is not an indicator of the speed of your computer, but we tend to assume that a faster processor is used only when the computer can actually handle that faster speed. so assume its faster. but the most important thing is your dram, this is what will slow your computer down if you dont have enough, processor speed only deals with maximum top speed but you probably just want good speed all the time. go to start->control panel->system->open the system icon->go to the general tab...at the bottom, it will tell you how many MB of RAM you have. I have 512 MB. this is enough for most applications, although I have discovered it is not enough for many of the technical things I use my computer for such as advanced 3d rendering...for your purposes, 512 MB should be enough...let me know what the number is.
no matter what the number is, you can try to maximize the efficiency of your computer by not opening too many applications at once...and by making sure to show all processes that you can on the task bar and manually shutting them down by right clicking, or using ctrl+alt+delete to bring up the list of system processes and then you can manually end tasks which you KNOW what they are that seem to be taking up a lot of ram.
if you have applications that need more ram than you have, what they will do is only partly be in ram at any time, and be continuously swapping back and forth to your hard drive...so essentially you wont be running much faster than your slow hard drive! this is what you want to avoid...
edit: gelisgeti, thank you for your interest in my little poem...whatever differences we have on the other thread do not exist elsewhere
Ah yes, the light dawns
Silly world of comp sci, ha!
I am so clueless.
'Dram' can also mean a wee bit of Scotch whiskey.
3. As much spirituous liquor as is usually drunk at once; as, a dram of brandy; hence, a potation or potion; as, a dram of poison.
A dram is also a monetary unit in Armenia.
I went to Armenia to have a dram,
the bartender said "That'll be two drams."
Damn, I thought, it looks like one,
cross-cultural puns can sure be fun!
ok im doing it again...im revising that spontaneous poem again. usually im not so "conscious" of my poetry but i think im going ot actually show her...so...it must be good
really stupid, what im doing, but doing it anyway. i might as well show you this other poem that i wrote about her a couple years ago after knowing her for liek a week!! i cant believe i already knew i loved her.
DOE GIRL - 2002
I know my love is blind
to the hair on your upper lip
Doe girl, when I kissed you
pressed yourself against me
and gave yourself over
to me.
remember when you told me
those words, I do.
They didn't mean much to you
but I saved them
Doe eyes staring in my direction
I can't read their thoughts but
loving you means not knowing
and thinking
that you inhale when I touch you
and grow restless when you're home alone
thinking of me
like I do
Doe, slender arms
and tiny manakin fingers so unlike
mine, how you do draw me.
I think your smile is too bright
and I think your eyes are too big
a Disney girl, I want to watch the movie
that you came from
to roll down the hill
grass in our hair
my arm hugging you tight.
and here's the edited version of the new one...
SCARE YOU - 2004
If I believed in fate I'd say that we were meant to be.
Do you want to believe, want to be with me?
I think about it, and I hate the fact that I am just
a summer's toy to occupy your wait--
or am I more than that to you?
When you leave, will you look for someone new?
I can't even think about it, I just want to stay with you.
I hope this doesn't scare you, but if it does it must,
because there's more to this than trust.
It's not the lust, although I do lust for you.
And it's not the rush of meeting someone new.
It's not a crush, it's not infatuation;
my love is really real for you.
What a cliché, I knew it from the start.
That first night I took you out, you touched my heart.
Soon you were my Cinderella, but you left me no shoe.
Did you realize that story was about me and you?
A starfish on the rocky shore;
yes, you are a star, you shine.
The tide will wash you away, and
your light will shine on me no more.
A feather in the breeze;
when the wind blows, you'll leave
I'm sad because I know you're at a different stage in life;
I'm sad because I know I could travel the world around twice
and not find a more wonderful wife.
I wish I hadn't met you yet, I'm not ready and neither are you.
Yet here you are, so near;
a fleeting image of the life that is so far away.
And I can still whisper in your pretty little ear,
the one last thing I have to say:
please, please don't let it end here.
i think its miles improved upon the last version..
