WRATH

Whether or not you get angry is not a matter of choice. Anger is a visceral, emotional reaction to given stress situations. This part cannot be controlled through intellect or force of will. What can be controlled is one's reaction to this adrenaline flow. It is possible to be angry, yet not let your anger show. More importantly, it is possible to be angry at some one and yet make no effort to kill that person or otherwise do bodily (or emotional, either) harm to that person.

I'm pretty good at this. I seldom get angry. That's why, when I do, people who know me get right out of the way. It can take a minute or two for sweet reason to kick in and stop me from stomping whomever I want to stomp.

I have a dysfunctional relationship with anger, I think.
I doubt myself. Sometimes, I think I accept behavior I shouldn't, and then blow at situations I shouldn't.

I was asking about repression of anger a while back... Anybody dealt successfully with repression of anger? Or have any insight?

I wonder if religion has done this to me... I have felt I should always 'turn away wrath', but I find this, many times, just piles it up-- Does it always have to come out somehow, or am I not dealing with it correctly?

Dr. Phil...?

Sorry, Dr. Phil and Oprah got into an argument, he lost it and belted her, an' he's now in the Cook County Jail awaiting arraignment . . .

Many times, I would like to punch Oprah and Dr. Phil.
I guess I am normal.

Set, Exactly when did this incident between Dr Phil and Oprah happen? Haven't seen or read about it - yet.

I think he was kidding... <but with Rush outed in the Enquirer by his maid and Arnold grabbing boobies, I could be wrong.>

If put to good use, more power to it, ye reformers. But being angry about something you have neither the inclination nor the ability to change is unproductive (and so I patiently wait for my next trip to the polling place, because I know that, no matter how angry I get, I'm not going to get out there and create change in any other way).

I kinda see it the way MA does -- there's no getting rid of the potential for the emotion, though in the long term a person can adjust the way they respond angering stimuli and/or put themselves in less, um, angering situations. For little day to day incidental anger, though, I feel like I've got to let it out (choice words are good for such) or it just backlogs and frequently comes out at less appropriate times and totally out of scale with the stimulus. As a quiet and soft-spoken child (fer instance, and to put some perspective on my pontification), I was prone to occasional bizarre rage outbursts. Nowadays, I am quick to anger and quick to calm...

Er, where was I?

patiodog, Your statement "you have neither the inclination nor the ability to change is unproductive" is how I try to reduce my anger, by this very attempt at rationalization, but it doesn't always work. I wonder why?

pd, good point re: considering whether there is anything one can do about the given situation which is making one angry. That's why I don't succumb to road rage. There's nothing I can do about the way some other idiot is driving. The most I can do is to watch my own driving habits and stay away from the potential accident looking for a place to happen. (Either that or run the sucker off the road )But that's my second point. When there is something you can do about the person or situation which is causing you to be angry, gotta be careful the response is appropriate. If a jerk steps in front of my car just as the light turns green for me, I am angry and my great temptation is to step on the gas and watch him go flying over the hood and roof of my car. This, however, I submit, would be an inappropriate response to the emotion.

Beats me. (I recognize that it's a lot like that alcoholics anonymous prayer, which in turn seems to me like self-directed therapeutic treatment for bipolar disorder -- that is, directing the person away from the feeling of omnipotence that comes with manic episodes (bound to be frustrated) and the hopelessness that comes with depression (when lethargy and pessimism preclude potentially fruitful actions): hence, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference" -- possibly the best thing the organization has to offer aside from giving the people who go someone to call up when they feel like drinking who won't go meet them for a drink.)

But that's wildly tangential... sort of.

Is this another one of dlowan's digression threads in disguise?

Sounds to me like anything around here that keeps you busy is to the point. (insert winky things -- which make me angry -- here)

No, MA, in fact it's not . . . i was playing a video game the other night, and one goes to sea for various purposes. I was creating my battle fleet, since i like to go into piracy in a big way. I always name the ships of my fleet after the seven deadly sins . . . it then occured to me that i might torment this web site with those same concepts . . . but, realistically speaking, i'm a thread hijacker of long habit, and am never upset to see something go completely off topic . . .

But i digress . . .

What was the question?

So you still are commanding HMS Laziness?

Anger, Oh dear, I was into some real rage for awhile, but maybe that's because, yeah, it was repressed. One day in my 30s I had a real strong urge to break out all the windows in my well sunlit living room. Figured I'd best do a little work on myself before I really did break windows, or worse.

What I did was allow myself some anger, so some people caught the brunt of that. No matter, I let some more people have it, too. I continued in this manner until I was able to breath slowly for 2/3 seconds, thinking some hogwash like "I know the right thing to say and I say it." After awhile I just took the breaths and that alone is calming now. Possibly, that long breath I take is the same as "praying, i.e., before eating a meal it works same as that prayer, just to calm people sos they don't get ulcers from eating when angry.

Somewhere along the way I attended support group "Emotions Anonymous" about 10 times. All people have anger, even deep soul anger. It just can be controlled, channeled into something helpful to someone else, or yourself. I liked the advice, "Show them by your success."

I do recall that all my life when upset I would automatically start humming or singing to myself. Could be why I didn't break windows. Sorta like all the monks chanting "Ommmmmmm." Meditation helps, too.

Anger is just like any other emotion it happens. Being able to resolve the reason for the anger and if it involves another person or people the ability to discuss the real issues is important.

Anger can be a motivator in certain circumstances and other it can bring on severe depression.

During my union days anger was a tool used by both sides of the table to either get to agreement or stall.

Anger is OK as long as it is not taken personally.

I'm not sure how one makes anger unpersonal.

Letting out anger?
To me the purpose of "letting out anger" is not that somehow that is something you need to do like a volcano needs to let out lava or risk exploding. Rather, by giving in now-and-then to your irrational emotions you can observe and understand them better, and if you do that, you will see more the extent of their inappropriateness. So, for instance, if you allow yourself to feel anger in harmless ways during play, you will develop as a person and less get angry when doing so can hurt others. You gain wisdom in anger and in managing anger by experience--both experience with anger and with managing anger are useful.

Anger is no worse than anything else.

IT is no better or worse than Joy or happiness or bubblegum.

Anger is usally not fun for me but I cannot deny it. And why would I it has served me well many times I agree with NNY.

The only anger that really gets to me is the childish kind that happens when I cannot get some thing done the way I want it. Computers are a good example in my case. Sometimes I want to throw it across the room and the feeling, that child anger, makes me feel stupid and silly.